Depression/mental health thread

[benjipwns]

backlog marathon

[Tasty]

backlog marathon

This close t pokemon? no way

[Madrun Badrun]

I listen to comedy bang bang or watch critical roll.

[Madrun Badrun]

and jerk it.  lots.  didn't know dicks can get calluses.

[naff]

Hey what's the SOP when your drive for living completely collapses

Asking for a friend

I know I have been a little rude before and you don't really care for my shit. I've been a very lazy low key contributor here for a long time with a tendency to be a bit derisive, sorry for the neg vibes... I've seen you come a long way in life and think you're great. Hang in there bud. You're doing really well, despite feeling like shit rn.

I have no advice really. Personally, I have done a little therapy but usually avoid cause $ and try smooth bad vibes over by basking in friends and colleagues good graces, doing dinners and watching movies, playing games, keeping in work and saving money. I have a fair bit of anxiety about fucking up and losing my support network at times esp when drinking or smoking too much.

Validation, doing cool stuff and staying comfortable with just enough transgression to not be stagnant is what I aim for ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Tasty]

That's some good advice, thank you.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Create something.
Even if it sucks. Create something. There's something therapeutic to look at something where there was nothing before and being like "I did that"

[CatsCatsCats]

I think the SOP is reaching out and talking about it. Sending love to your friend

[Himu]

Feeling great mentally. A few weeks ago after talking with someone close to me, they convinced me to no longer discuss politics with people. Just read news and vote and it's been really great not having to pick sides or even converse about it so far. I've applied this to all sectors of my life from irl, social media, to even the bore. No longer talking about politics is a huge burden off my chest. It's not that I don't care anymore, I just don't want to talk to anyone about it besides with people I trust. It's also allowed me to finally shed the gun nut fear mongering I've been surrounded by. Just being a liberal gun supporter who shoots paper at shooting ranges to be trained for self defense situations is a huge mental weight off my shoulders rather than deal with the constant fear mongering. Just letting go feels good since no one really respects anything you say and no one's mind is ever really changed, talking politics is a fruitless endeavor that divides people further. My time on the bore, just chatting about games has made my time on the site better, dealings with RahX aside. I realize I let a lot of online dealings get to me too much. But it's easier to digest when you realize it's best for just not taking seriously. If people you've been posting with for over a decade allow someone to humor the idea that you possibly look like Gary Coleman in a wig, then it's pointless getting mad at all. Getting mad requires investment. Why be invested with people who clearly do not care? This goes for irl as well.

[I'm a Puppy!]

As you all know, my youngest son is autistic. So I have a fair amount of friends that are also parents of autistic kids. One dear friend has a pre-school daughter that in particular is...well....I'm not sure how to describe it...saying she's a handful is an understatement. She's barely verbal, she unlocks doors and then goes running around outside. She never stops trying to escape or getting into things she shouldn't. It's really hard to see how my friend has put her whole life on hold for her daughter. She's no longer who she was. She's just a poor lady always following this kid running around saying "No. Stop that! No. Don't touch! No. Get out of there! No don't paint that! No. Don't cut that!" She really loves her daughter, but even she knows she's completely lost who she was. It's really depressing. 

[CatsCatsCats]

My seasonal affective bs is making me feel to tightly wound, anxious 😟

[Rahxephon91]

Had a real bad episode today guys.

I'm just a mess of a person on a lot of levels and I'm not sure how I'm going to work my way out.

[Himu]

A lot of us are in the same situation. Imo work towards a goal. You’ve told me before you didn’t have any but I think you should aim for what pleases you.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Yeah my seasonal disorder stuff is really rough this year. Hang in there boreans.

[Rahxephon91]

A lot of us are in the same situation. Imo work towards a goal. You’ve told me before you didn’t have any but I think you should aim for what pleases you.

And I  really appreciate this as I've been a huge ass to you recently.

[Himu]

Awww we are all depressed curmudgeons here

Group hug

[Himu]

Another year another thanksgiving alone.

[Tasty]

Another year another thanksgiving alone.

Whenever we do a Bore friendsgiving you're sitting next to me.

[Tasty]

Sorry, only registered users can see this content. Please Login or Register.

[Himu]

Dude. I’m going to tweet you because I feel uncomfortable talking about your public life on this forum.

[Tasty]

How do people deal with this for years? Jesus

[Cryo]

How do people deal with this for years? Jesus

tbh I don’t abuse substances, but doctor’s visits are making it clear that stress/depression/anxiety have taken a physical toll on my body

[Himu]

How do people deal with this for years? Jesus

What's the "you must be logged in to see this post" bb code 

hide

[Kara]

It gets easier after your third or fourth major depressive episode, though to get through my last one I had to do some things that were pretty drastic.

[Himu]

You get numb to it. Eventually you just feel apathy.

[Cryo]

me irl, s/o toku for posting this

[Rufus]

How do people deal with this for years? Jesus

[toku]

One of the big things to learn is that these things, these feelings, tend to have a kind of momentum. You learn to slow the swing, to ride it out in a more intimate way that it becomes maybe less destructive than it often is initially. You'll get good at this and even be able to cut it off early sometimes.

Can't begin to know the intimate details of your situation or what you're feeling but one thing I want you to absolutely get tasty is that you're not alone and that you must be kind to yourself in these moments. Not in some cheesey self-care way (tho take care of yourself) but in a very real disciplined self talking kind of way. Forgive yourself, don't let yourself fall into this trap of thinking & talking badly about yourself. It is not productive at all, don't punish yourself. The world has innumerable ways of doing that already lol

[I'm a Puppy!]

What if you treated yourself like someone you loved?

[CatsCatsCats]

In a real bad spot. Struggling to break thought patterns of suicidal ideation. Feeling isolated. Had a bit of a self harm stimming type breakdown. Dunno brehs

[Tasty]

In a real bad spot. Struggling to break thought patterns of suicidal ideation. Feeling isolated. Had a bit of a self harm stimming type breakdown. Dunno brehs

You're one of my favorite people here and I always look forward to your posts. Don't give up. You are loved.

Are you talking to anyone? Not necessarily a therapist, just someone IRL you can vent to?

[CatsCatsCats]

Yeah I mean, I’ve kinda backed myself into a corner that I’m going to need to get therapy. I’ve never been, was raised to treat it with disdain. Lots of alcoholism and shuttered window abuse in my childhood + undiagnosed autism, I’m fairly broken. I need to change something but I’m pretty fearful of trying tbh

[Tasty]

Yeah I mean, I’ve kinda backed myself into a corner that I’m going to need to get therapy. I’ve never been, was raised to treat it with disdain. Lots of alcoholism and shuttered window abuse in my childhood + undiagnosed autism, I’m fairly broken. I need to change something but I’m pretty fearful of trying tbh

A therapist seems like the way to go then, yeah. And at first it'll seem bad and weird and you'll probably feel guilty, then guilty about feeling guilty, but that's normal and please, listen to me: looking after yourself is never bad. Ever.

[Himu]

Spencer Please go to therapist.

[CatsCatsCats]

Tbh I resent my parents for never getting me any help. I dropped out of high school at 15 because of a suicide attempt that got swept under the rug. I was smart enough to pass GED with “honors” that summer without studying and tested into college courses at the community college. The depression swung back around as my first real (super tumultuous) relationship with a girl I met there became my primary focus and I bailed out of my computer science transfer degree. I managed to salvage it into an associates of general studies with one more elective a couple years later but have been stuck in essentially manual labor ever since. Now I’m 30 and feel like I kinda threw away a lot or wasted a lot of my life. Now after years of shouldering almost all the financial burden as my wife had some debilitating health issues, our finances are pretty decent at the moment and I could potentially change jobs, maybe even to part time and do some kind of training but I’m paralyzed with the fear of losing the stability we finally have. A lot of days I just think I’ve gone too far down the wrong paths and long for a reset

[Transhuman]

Hey, need some advice. Lately all my waking thoughts are consumed with intrusive thoughts about committing suicide, until eventually the intrusive thoughts build up and outnumber all the others. When this happens the only thing I keep coming back to in my mind is trying to think of a way to justify to myself all the pain it would cause my brother. Is it possible this could be a sign of some type of depression or something it?

[chronovore]

My reading comprehension is utter shit today, so sorry -- it's not clear if you're wanting to cause your brother pain by committing suicide, or if you're preventing yourself from it by trying to be considerate of a loved one.

Either way, intrusive thoughts which lean toward suicide, yeah, sounds very difficult to deal with and symptomatic of a deeper problem. Get help. If you feel like killing yourself, call a suicide hotline.

I can't remember where you are, so here is an international list of hotline numbers:

http://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines

[Transhuman]

My reading comprehension is utter shit today, so sorry -- it's not clear if you're wanting to cause your brother pain by committing suicide, or if you're preventing yourself from it by trying to be considerate of a loved one.

The latter. It's like my love for him is this anchor keeping me alive. I wish he'd die so I there's nothing left preventing me from killing myself. I thought that was normal.

[CatsCatsCats]

Naw, love, most people aren’t stuck in that mindset like us. Find a way out that keeps you intact, and lemme know how you did it

[toku]

not even half way through the month yet lads whew

[Yeti]

Good, because I have so much shit I need to do this month. December is too busy!

[Tasty]

Brehs... the latest Hellsing Ultimate Abridged actually had some good advice, or at least some advice that spoke to me.

"Don't mistake youthful selfishness for genuine malice. Nobody *isn't* kind of an asshole in their early 20s. And if they actually weren't? They were probably sociopaths."

Maybe I should stop beating myself up.

[Madrun Badrun]

Went to bed last night excited to go to work today, woke up ready to face the day, and within the last 30 min anxiety set in now, I'm going to skip a meeting and stay home.  SMH this year has been trash.

[thetylerrob]

Tomorrow night I'm finally going to a psychiatrist and getting treated for ADHD, letting it go this far has really fucked up my life in a lot of ways. I dropped out of college with a few credits left to graduate, I always did terribly at school, my house is always a mess, I don't communicate with people well at all, I constantly lose touch with friends unless I see them every day, I burn out at jobs after about 6 months unless it's really engaging, I'm always depressed and I lie constantly when I'm trying to hide this shit from people. I'm really hoping this turns my life around somewhat, I just want some stability and I feel like I've wasted a lot of time.

[Tasty]

Tomorrow night I'm finally going to a psychiatrist and getting treated for ADHD, letting it go this far has really fucked up my life in a lot of ways. I dropped out of college with a few credits left to graduate, I always did terribly at school, my house is always a mess, I don't communicate with people well at all, I constantly lose touch with friends unless I see them every day, I burn out at jobs after about 6 months unless it's really engaging, I'm always depressed and I lie constantly when I'm trying to hide this shit from people. I'm really hoping this turns my life around somewhat, I just want some stability and I feel like I've wasted a lot of time.

Damn this hits close to home. Please post about how it goes.

[Tasty]

People keep letting me down. Life sucks.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Sorry things are rough Tasty. But people will always let you down. That's why I have 0 expectations from anyone.

[MMaRsu]

Tomorrow night I'm finally going to a psychiatrist and getting treated for ADHD, letting it go this far has really fucked up my life in a lot of ways. I dropped out of college with a few credits left to graduate, I always did terribly at school, my house is always a mess, I don't communicate with people well at all, I constantly lose touch with friends unless I see them every day, I burn out at jobs after about 6 months unless it's really engaging, I'm always depressed and I lie constantly when I'm trying to hide this shit from people. I'm really hoping this turns my life around somewhat, I just want some stability and I feel like I've wasted a lot of time.

well shit this sounds too familliar

I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid.. but I stopped taking medication so long ago and stopped seeing a psychiatrist around 15/16 as well.

I have a terrible time holding down a job, my house is also always a mess. My communication with people is also terrible it seems, which causes me to miss all sorts of job oppertunities. I used to lie a lot to hide this shit from my moms n stuff, but nowadays I just tell her everything.

I'm 32 now and just got laid off. Shit fucking sucks bro.

But you will get through it man and so will I I am sure of it.

[thetylerrob]

Saw the psychiatrist last night, it seemed to go pretty well.

He just asked me a list of about a hundred questions and tried to fill out my symptoms on a scale from 1-5 based on my answers. I feel like it's really hard to talk to someone about my mental issues in person because I don't keep an active list in my head of every symptom I experience they just randomly come to me or I'll realize they existed later. The list was really detailed but the guy joked around a lot to build a rapport with me, kinda felt awkward that he joked about suicide and whether I've ever wanted to kill anyone tho. 

Anyway the only thing I'm shaky on is how skeptical he seemed to be at first, it feel's a little bit like he was trying to disprove that I have anything. He had to warn me that it's really hard to get anything prescribed because of how popular the drugs have become and he was really curious about why I've never sought treatment before (I'm 25). I basically had to explain to him that my parents didn't have insurance and I had tried before but was too broke/busy. Idk maybe I'm just paranoid about it because I'm used to being brushed off by people. Anyway he says we have to do some more tests but I'll have to wait until next month to do them and he didn't know if my insurance would need to cover them.

Sorry about your job MMaRsu, I know how it feels to lose your job randomly and it's honestly one of the worst feelings in the world.

Also sorry people are dicks, Tasty. We're here for you bro.

If you guys feel like you want to get diagnosed/treated look around your area for mental health facilities that use a sliding scale based on income, the guy told me initially that this first appointment would cost $140 but he ended up just waiving the fee at the end of the session. He said the next one will be $80.

[Tasty]

I fucking fuck everything up. Fuck

[CatsCatsCats]

shootin love beams your way

[Tasty]

Just wanna take poppers until I fall asleep and don't wake up. Sounds nice. Probably need a chaser.

Edit- Not killing myself, just talking hypothetically.

[Tasty]

Edit- Ugh morning afters

[Trent Dole]

Tasty, I just figured all my shit out by having three espressos and then sitting for two hours in a hot shower. I highly recommend it.

Would having a triple shot work?

[benjipwns]

Anyway the only thing I'm shaky on is how skeptical he seemed to be at first, it feel's a little bit like he was trying to disprove that I have anything.

This is often kinda less trying to wave you off than it is pushing back a little from outside to see your reactions. He'll probably subtly and openly test you in a variety of ways especially early on just to get a feel of how you be.

Or he may just be skeptical or looking to make a narrow diagnosis. I don't want to pretend that's not possible.

The fact that he waived the fee and gave you a cheaper one for next time seems to indicate he'd like to work with you though, trying to remove some of the logistical barriers to you returning.

[benjipwns]

Re: rolling without insurance or having low level insurance

A perhaps surprising number of therapists, actually doctors in general really, will often be more flexible on costs with cash payments (or check) for at least a few patients or so.

Regarding prescription drugs, there are also discount programs many pharmacies already have in the system and you can just ask about them when dropping off, but you can also find a number of them on the onlines and often it's just stuff you print off or they send a card for free that you can dump a bunch of on the counter. Then the pharmacist enters a code like thing that applies the discounts. And sometimes they will use multiple different ones to get you the cheapest cost on each drug if they're cool. My pharmacist has hers setup so it automatically goes through the discount programs to apply cheapest one, I pay like $35ish for three drugs. But for example, CVS wanted me to pay up to like $80 for far less drugs through THEIR "discount" program years ago, so it can be worthwhile to query different places as they can usually give you an estimate.

Obviously nothing to rely on for everything or in every instance, but can be of value in certain situations.

[CatsCatsCats]

Long story short, I think I need to put some distance between my parents and I and get help for me.

[Tasty]

Me and hour-long hot showers are well acquainted.

[toku]

Long story short, I think I need to put some distance between my parents and I and get help for me.

I saw before the edit and I think thats a good call. Things are always a little heightened right now too so go easy on yourself.

[CatsCatsCats]