Author Topic: Depression/mental health thread  (Read 110333 times)

0 Members and 4 Guests are viewing this topic.

bork

  • おっぱいは命、尻は故郷
  • Global Moderator
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #780 on: June 13, 2022, 09:55:51 PM »
I feel you on the mask thing- I often notice that we're the only ones still masking up at a lot of places.  Not going to stop me from doing it, though.

I've spent the past (nearly) month battling food poisoning and then what appears to be a long-lasting bad case of an IBS flare-up following it.  At one point I was sent to the ER.  They didn't find anything bad and neither did a fecal test, but I keep trying stuff to feel better and keep feeling bad, and it has me feeling down at times.  I try stay positive though. 
ど助平

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #781 on: June 13, 2022, 10:13:03 PM »
Sorry to hear bork. Food poisoning and IBS fucking suck. Was it from that Peanut Butter recall? I think I got some food poisoning and GI flareup from that for a week or two myself.

bork

  • おっぱいは命、尻は故郷
  • Global Moderator
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #782 on: June 13, 2022, 11:15:59 PM »
Sorry to hear bork. Food poisoning and IBS fucking suck. Was it from that Peanut Butter recall? I think I got some food poisoning and GI flareup from that for a week or two myself.

Went on vacation and am pretty sure I got it from some seafood that I had for dinner...on my birthday.  That was a nice present.  :-\

It worries me that this could be something else, but the doctor seemed pretty confident it was all related to food poisoning and said something worse wouldn't just suddenly start happening like this did.  She said for some people this kind of thing can go on for weeks...or months.  :cry
ど助平

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #783 on: June 14, 2022, 12:38:50 AM »
It usually won't last that long though.

chronovore

  • relapsed dev
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #784 on: June 14, 2022, 12:51:09 AM »
Food poisoning on your birthday. That's ROUGH.

bork

  • おっぱいは命、尻は故郷
  • Global Moderator
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #785 on: June 14, 2022, 05:51:11 PM »
It usually won't last that long though.

Am at 3+ weeks feeling like this, but I also didn't fully-eat the right foods until just a few days ago after getting a low fodmap diet.  Was told to wait a few weeks to see how everything is going- one more week and then I'm sure I'm headed back to the doctor.
ど助平

james

  • Donate to the JAMES FUND
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #786 on: June 15, 2022, 02:04:32 AM »
My friend told me she was extremely depressed and suicidal. She said the only reason she hadnt killed herself was that she was a coward. She said she had nothing to live for.

I suggested she get pregnant to have something to look forward to.

She said she was muting me.

Im not good a this :fbm
:O

chronovore

  • relapsed dev
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #787 on: June 15, 2022, 02:05:47 AM »
Tell her to seek professional help.

BIONIC

  • Virgo. Live Music. The Office. Tacos. Fur mom. True crime junkie. INTJ.
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #788 on: June 15, 2022, 02:22:05 AM »
My friend told me she was extremely depressed and suicidal. She said the only reason she hadnt killed herself was that she was a coward. She said she had nothing to live for.

I suggested she get pregnant to have something to look forward to.

She said she was muting me.

Im not good a this :fbm

:whoo
Margs

james

  • Donate to the JAMES FUND
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #789 on: June 15, 2022, 08:20:52 AM »
Tell her to seek professional help.

I messaged my other friend and that was what she suggested and I went with
:O

Transhuman

  • youtu.be/KCVCmGPgJS0
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #790 on: June 15, 2022, 08:55:03 AM »
Tell her to seek professional help.

You mean like IVF?

Madrun Badrun

  • twin-anused mascot
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #791 on: June 15, 2022, 09:31:36 AM »
My friend told me she was extremely depressed and suicidal. She said the only reason she hadnt killed herself was that she was a coward. She said she had nothing to live for.

I suggested she get pregnant to have something to look forward to.

She said she was muting me.

Im not good a this :fbm

Tell her to seek professional help.

I messaged my other friend and that was what she suggested and I went with

There is not being good at supporting friends in need and then there is actively being unsupportive.  Think edgelord responses fall in the latter category.  If you still want to help, an apology and explaining why you gave the response you did would be more supportive now than telling her to get professional help.   

james

  • Donate to the JAMES FUND
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #792 on: June 15, 2022, 09:38:56 AM »
My friend told me she was extremely depressed and suicidal. She said the only reason she hadnt killed herself was that she was a coward. She said she had nothing to live for.

I suggested she get pregnant to have something to look forward to.

She said she was muting me.

Im not good a this :fbm

Tell her to seek professional help.

I messaged my other friend and that was what she suggested and I went with

There is not being good at supporting friends in need and then there is actively being unsupportive.  Think edgelord responses fall in the latter category.  If you still want to help, an apology and explaining why you gave the response you did would be more supportive now than telling her to get professional help.

To be fair she provided shit support to me when I had my breakup
:O

Svejk

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #793 on: June 15, 2022, 09:39:15 AM »
It usually won't last that long though.

Am at 3+ weeks feeling like this, but I also didn't fully-eat the right foods until just a few days ago after getting a low fodmap diet.  Was told to wait a few weeks to see how everything is going- one more week and then I'm sure I'm headed back to the doctor.
Dang brother, you still suffering with this?  I'm sorry to hear..  Forget trying doctors, you should try a nutritionist. They'll actually help with a healing diet and not pump you full of cheap, oil based meds like big pappa pharma wants.  And stay off the corbonated drinks...

As for the rest of y'all, since I rarely dabble in the superdeep, I'm sending prayers out to you all and your loved ones.  There will always, always, ALWAYS be something good to look forward to, whether you see it or not...  We have bad/hard times as reminders that there are good times ahead.  May God bless you all!

Nintex

  • Finish the Fight
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #794 on: June 15, 2022, 03:35:24 PM »
It's always darkest before the dawn  :heart
🤴

Tasty

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #795 on: July 19, 2022, 01:23:01 AM »
Shiiiiiiit life is fucking hard lately. I don't even know how to explain here lol.

My job's fucked up, my sister's life is fucked up, we're all in debt to our eyeballs including my parents, I have no control over my finances due to a bad decision from 6 years ago, I put my creative ambitions on indefinite hold, and I'm starting to come unglued being in the middle of every single fucking drama event. My last two days off from work were May 31 and July 4.

Highlight of my day is anxiety-puking in the shower each morning. Yay.

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #796 on: July 19, 2022, 02:05:55 AM »
Shiiiiiiit life is fucking hard lately. I don't even know how to explain here lol.

My job's fucked up, my sister's life is fucked up, we're all in debt to our eyeballs including my parents, I have no control over my finances due to a bad decision from 6 years ago, I put my creative ambitions on indefinite hold, and I'm starting to come unglued being in the middle of every single fucking drama event. My last two days off from work were May 31 and July 4.

Highlight of my day is anxiety-puking in the shower each morning. Yay.

Hang in there Tasty

chronovore

  • relapsed dev
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #797 on: July 20, 2022, 01:17:46 AM »
This all sounds horrifying. You are not taking time for yourself. Is there any way you can ease off and take a couple days to yourself?

Transhuman

  • youtu.be/KCVCmGPgJS0
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #798 on: July 20, 2022, 05:10:24 AM »
He needs less icky alcohol and more tasty mariguana

Madrun Badrun

  • twin-anused mascot
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #799 on: August 12, 2022, 10:51:49 AM »
Depression is inching in again.  I had a bunch of success last year but now that is running out of steam without any new achievements to ride high on. At least I'm at the point in life where I can recognize the issue and try to do something about it but it's so damn hard.  I'm getting some work done and walking into work everyday which is helping but I really need to be excising, eating better, drinking less, and getting more done which feels super overhelming right now.

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #800 on: September 02, 2022, 11:13:37 PM »
I've been enrolled in therapy for childhood PTSD and depression. It's been helping. One thing I've been working on is emotional regulation which I lack. I've been seeing a lot of progress, which is really good. Consuming shrooms in microdoses have done wonders for my mental health and I'm doing really good! :)

Hang in there everybody.
IYKYK

Tasty

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #801 on: September 04, 2022, 10:47:48 AM »
Really happy to hear that Himu! :) Bless up :preach

This all sounds horrifying. You are not taking time for yourself. Is there any way you can ease off and take a couple days to yourself?

Missed this post earlier. I was basically banking days and goodwill so I could take this week in Vegas. It's unlikely I'll have much more time off for the rest of the year, but I've achieved some measure of inner peace which I anticipate will get me through this next rough patch.

I can never predict what the next big emergency is, but I usually have a feeling something's coming lol.

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #802 on: September 04, 2022, 12:59:07 PM »
One thing I've had trouble with is others believe in me more than I believe in myself. Thanks to the shrooms I've been able to combat that directly. It has been really helpful in turning around negative thought patterns.

Thank you Andy. How often do you have for yourself? You can't keep doing this.
« Last Edit: September 04, 2022, 01:42:35 PM by Himu »
IYKYK

Nintex

  • Finish the Fight
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #803 on: September 04, 2022, 03:01:14 PM »
Good stuff, sounds like you guys can finally pilot my Evangelions  :doggy
🤴

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #804 on: September 05, 2022, 05:17:34 PM »
I need to take some time away from everything and re-organize my life. Back to therapy would be good too if I can find a good therapist.

I think I have too much time so spend to much of it getting annoyed by forums and too much time spent thinking about dating & sex & getting old/being too old to relate/connect with anyone anymore, all of which just makes me more and more unhappy. Time to reboot and get away from the internet and find some life stuff that brings a good healthy mindset.

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #805 on: September 05, 2022, 05:43:54 PM »
Though some of this is out of my hand. Among all my health issues, in the last few months my doctors and I discovered that since Nov 2021 I've been significantly draining Iron from my blood and can't absorb any anymore so my iron tests show me at a critical failure level of almost non-existent iron and iron foods/pills do nothing because I can't absorb it.

I'm working each week on getting iron infusions going to address this and hopefully we get my first iron infusion soon.

But like the side effects of anemic levels of iron are fatigue, irritability, anxiety, depression due to being unable to produce dopamine from lack of iron, frustration, weakness, etc...

And I've been at those levels for almost a year now and been in a pretty shit mood all year with a ton of health issues. So that may be the cause of a lot of stuff. Hopefully when I get iron infusions it'll really change things.

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #806 on: September 05, 2022, 06:03:09 PM »
I'm really sorry you're going through all that, Bebpo. Stay strong.
IYKYK

benjipwns

  • your bright ideas always burn me
  • Senior Member

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #808 on: September 08, 2022, 02:33:00 AM »
My anxiety/depression is worse than ever. Doctors/insurance stuff is disgustingly awful and slow in the USA and you can't even get a hold of a live person at my doctors office only leave messages and then get a response at some point. Also like 90% of the time I need one doctor to get something to the other doctor, it takes days for them to do it and then I follow up with the other office and they go "we never got anything" and then I have to go back to the first office and takes days to try again. This happened with getting my prescription for my iron infusion over, will see if they actually got it over tomorrow.

I feel like even if I'm trying to avoid it, I'm stuck with my life on hold because I feel like I need these meds and they'll fix a lot of stuff. So each day it's like I try to call a doctor office and move this thing along one step and until I hear back, I feel depressed and anxious and can't do anything with my day. At the slow speed this stuff can go it might take another week or so, so I need to get my shit together even if I'm kinda dizzy and fatigued and depressed and anxious and stressed and still do something and be somewhat functional.

And in the middle of all this, today my elderly mom faceplanted head first into the ground while taking out the trash bin and ended up in the ER and needed stitches. That was scary and further spiked anxiety. Luckily they said she didn't have a concussion or anything and just needed a few stitches on her nose. I'm still a little nervous because they didn't run a CT scan. They asked her a bunch of questions and kept her for a while and she didn't show any mental issues and didn't blackout and they didn't feel it was necessary. But you hear these stories about people who hit their head and seem totally fine and then die a few days later from a brain bleed, so I really think the ER should've done a CT scan for an elderly person hitting their head on the ground hard enough to need nose stitches. But my parents don't want to push it and it wasn't a shitty hospital and was a pretty decent respectable one so will just have to hope for the best. Either way will need to help her out and keep an eye on her for a few days.

She also got her new covid booster this afternoon, so when I first heard she fell I thought it was like she had a reaction and fainted, but she said it had nothing to do with the booster and any side effects haven't even kicked in yet and she just got dragged by a heavy trash bin that started rolling and lost her balance and fell. So now she gets to recover from face injuries and stitches and deal with covid booster side effects fevers and stuff at the same time tonight and tomorrow.  :-\ 

Anyhow, it's a lot of shit at once, and not doing well. Also still dealing with pretty moderate chronic pain. Lotta napping and watching porn basically which is what I do when I'm depressed.

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #809 on: September 08, 2022, 04:44:13 AM »
Despite the depression and anxiety I want you to try to take charge of ownership of what YOU can do in a seemingly hopeless situation bebpo. Love you and you're too great s guy to read this. Have you been active lately at all? Even if it's one thing a day, like doing the dishes or taking a shower, consider it a victory if you managed to do it.

Can you go for a walk despite the chronic pain? If you can get a walk despite the fact there are many factors outside of your control you can hopefully get a sense of empowerment again. Not a guarantee but it's something to be hopeful for. Stay positive.

I've added you to my prayer list.

I know I will sound like a puritan here but try to curb the porn use. Porn really does damage on the psyche and a man's sense of self and it can't possibly be helping your self esteem. If you can try to downgrade to softcore porn or use it less frequently throughout the week. Just try to limit your use. It doesn't help depression - it feeds off of and sometimes even causes it.
« Last Edit: September 08, 2022, 04:50:20 AM by Himu »
IYKYK

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #810 on: September 09, 2022, 02:20:56 PM »
Any updates on mom, Bebpo?

So my Potential mentioned a book called Non violent communication. I bought it. So far there things I disagree with but it gives me an inkling of others thoughts and how I can better communicate with others so I'm not as abrasive.
IYKYK

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #811 on: September 09, 2022, 02:39:33 PM »
She's ok, just recovering from the injuries. Doesn't seem like she's having any reactions to latest covid booster on top of it, which is good. Still slightly concerned they didn't do a CT scan, but not too worried about it.

I got my iron prescription order from one doc to the other, so step 1 is complete and now it's just going through the whole insurance authorization thing. If there's no issue then hopefully I can schedule the infusion soon.

As for walking like you suggested, I usually walk a lot daily but due to the 100F+ heatwave for 10 days straight haven't been walking. It's finally gonna rain and cool down here today so tomorrow may be able to get back to walking.

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #812 on: September 09, 2022, 02:46:51 PM »
My suggestion as a fellow person living in a hot area is to work out early. As in, during the morning. This has multiple benefits:

1.starts your day with a routine
2. Gives you a reason besides work to get up
3. Gets you outside regularly
4. Gives you a reason to sleep early
5. Gives energy for the rest of the day

Try to get out around 6-7 am or so. Works wonders.

Glad Mama Bebpo is okay.
IYKYK

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #813 on: September 09, 2022, 10:41:59 PM »
I offered dua for you at the mosque today, Bebpo.
IYKYK

james

  • Donate to the JAMES FUND
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #814 on: September 21, 2022, 08:17:23 PM »
Too much of me wishes Putin would set off a few nukes so I could feel
:O

team filler

  • filler
  • filler
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #815 on: September 22, 2022, 09:32:46 PM »
.
« Last Edit: October 12, 2022, 12:09:43 AM by team filler »
*****

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #816 on: September 22, 2022, 09:35:35 PM »
Too much of me wishes Putin would set off a few nukes so I could feel

Sounds like you need God. :)
IYKYK

james

  • Donate to the JAMES FUND
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #817 on: September 22, 2022, 10:18:09 PM »
My friend told me she was extremely depressed and suicidal. She said the only reason she hadnt killed herself was that she was a coward. She said she had nothing to live for.

I suggested she get pregnant to have something to look forward to.

She said she was muting me.

Im not good a this :fbm
send her my way  :rash

Oh man I completely forgot about that she's still alive so mission accomplished
:O

james

  • Donate to the JAMES FUND
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #818 on: September 22, 2022, 10:18:42 PM »
Too much of me wishes Putin would set off a few nukes so I could feel

Sounds like you need God. :)

If I kill thousands of people will God honor me with virgins that does sound nice
:O

team filler

  • filler
  • filler
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #819 on: September 23, 2022, 02:47:23 AM »
.
« Last Edit: October 12, 2022, 12:09:22 AM by team filler »
*****

Nintex

  • Finish the Fight
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #820 on: September 23, 2022, 05:56:15 AM »
To be fair has anyone ever seen a depressed suicide bomber :trumps
🤴

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #821 on: September 23, 2022, 07:15:48 AM »
Too much of me wishes Putin would set off a few nukes so I could feel

Sounds like you need God. :)

If I kill thousands of people will God honor me with virgins that does sound nice

nah, you'd just go to hell. But if that sounds nice to you :yeshrug
IYKYK

Nintex

  • Finish the Fight
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #822 on: September 23, 2022, 09:18:37 AM »
But what if he kills Putin  ???

- James defects to the Russian Federation
- Putin personally gives him his passport
- James detonates his Nintendo DS

:pika
🤴

james

  • Donate to the JAMES FUND
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #823 on: September 23, 2022, 09:41:47 AM »
But what if he kills Putin  ???

- James defects to the Russian Federation
- Putin personally gives him his passport
- James detonates his Nintendo DS

:pika

Has to be the 3ds as this entire conservation is about minecraft
:O

Nintex

  • Finish the Fight
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #824 on: September 23, 2022, 01:49:05 PM »
yes obviously


Minecraft: New Nintendo 3DS Edition can only be played on the New Nintendo 3DS series
🤴

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #825 on: September 30, 2022, 07:48:19 PM »
Well I've made myself sick from the stress and anxiety of being on the phone half a day every day trying to get my iron infusions. Finally now after 6 weeks was told it was denied by my insurance, started looking at the costs of doing it cash without insurance, but then was told if I do new labs today maybe next week insurance would approve. Did a labs, but just been an exhausting mess.

Meanwhile I've been putting off my covid booster until I get my iron levels back since there's a decent amount of literature from the last couple of years that iron deficiency anemia greatly reduces the effectiveness of the covid vaccines.

Was looking up how long it takes for my iron to get fixed after I finally get the infusions and it looks like about 3 weeks on average. So should probably wait until that point to get my booster.

So if I can finally get my first of two iron infusions in a week with or without insurance, maybe I'll get boosted in like a month.

Holding off on dating or traveling right now until I get boosted just for some extra precautions. So another 1.5 months or so of forever alone. Maybe will be able to do both of those mid-november or december.

Also have surgeries and follow ups for my chronic pain which need the iron to kick in first so basically October looks like it's gonna be hopefully getting some iron and then feeling it kick in after a week or so and then maybe by the end of the month having normal non-anemic iron levels and that's about it. With all the next health steps being in November.

Whatever, at this point 2022 was a lost cause. Worst year of my life easily. I can get just get my health back on track by the end of the year and have some covid protection, will put a lot of effort into making it up in 2023.

Nintex

  • Finish the Fight
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #826 on: September 30, 2022, 08:03:19 PM »
Well I've made myself sick from the stress and anxiety of being on the phone half a day every day trying to get my iron infusions. Finally now after 6 weeks was told it was denied by my insurance, started looking at the costs of doing it cash without insurance, but then was told if I do new labs today maybe next week insurance would approve. Did a labs, but just been an exhausting mess.

Meanwhile I've been putting off my covid booster until I get my iron levels back since there's a decent amount of literature from the last couple of years that iron deficiency anemia greatly reduces the effectiveness of the covid vaccines.

Was looking up how long it takes for my iron to get fixed after I finally get the infusions and it looks like about 3 weeks on average. So should probably wait until that point to get my booster.

So if I can finally get my first of two iron infusions in a week with or without insurance, maybe I'll get boosted in like a month.

Holding off on dating or traveling right now until I get boosted just for some extra precautions. So another 1.5 months or so of forever alone. Maybe will be able to do both of those mid-november or december.

Also have surgeries and follow ups for my chronic pain which need the iron to kick in first so basically October looks like it's gonna be hopefully getting some iron and then feeling it kick in after a week or so and then maybe by the end of the month having normal non-anemic iron levels and that's about it. With all the next health steps being in November.

Whatever, at this point 2022 was a lost cause. Worst year of my life easily. I can get just get my health back on track by the end of the year and have some covid protection, will put a lot of effort into making it up in 2023.

Sounds rough, hopefully you can get the iron issue figured out.

From people I've talked to that had the new COVID vaccine season pass, they all tell me the side effects were less severe than last time.
🤴

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #827 on: September 30, 2022, 11:31:29 PM »
Talking to therapist about my abandonment issues next week. It'll be hard communicating how I feel unloved or that I'm inherently unlovable. Well, I used to think that. Not anymore. But healing takes a while.
IYKYK

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #828 on: September 30, 2022, 11:33:21 PM »
Well I've made myself sick from the stress and anxiety of being on the phone half a day every day trying to get my iron infusions. Finally now after 6 weeks was told it was denied by my insurance, started looking at the costs of doing it cash without insurance, but then was told if I do new labs today maybe next week insurance would approve. Did a labs, but just been an exhausting mess.

Meanwhile I've been putting off my covid booster until I get my iron levels back since there's a decent amount of literature from the last couple of years that iron deficiency anemia greatly reduces the effectiveness of the covid vaccines.

Was looking up how long it takes for my iron to get fixed after I finally get the infusions and it looks like about 3 weeks on average. So should probably wait until that point to get my booster.

So if I can finally get my first of two iron infusions in a week with or without insurance, maybe I'll get boosted in like a month.

Holding off on dating or traveling right now until I get boosted just for some extra precautions. So another 1.5 months or so of forever alone. Maybe will be able to do both of those mid-november or december.

Also have surgeries and follow ups for my chronic pain which need the iron to kick in first so basically October looks like it's gonna be hopefully getting some iron and then feeling it kick in after a week or so and then maybe by the end of the month having normal non-anemic iron levels and that's about it. With all the next health steps being in November.

Whatever, at this point 2022 was a lost cause. Worst year of my life easily. I can get just get my health back on track by the end of the year and have some covid protection, will put a lot of effort into making it up in 2023.

Sounds miserable. Stay strong and hang on.
IYKYK

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #829 on: October 13, 2022, 08:55:45 PM »
And two weeks later, still don't have anything and debated today whether to go to the ER or try to hold out longer because so light-headed and light dizziness + headaches and heavy fatigue. Anemia stuff is kind of all over the place on when you need to go to the hospital, mostly when shortness of breath and irregular heartbeats. I'm generally ok on breathing still and using a finger pulse thing my pulse jumps around between 80-91 but that seems normal range especially considering the heavy stress and anxiety I've got going.

Let's see, here are all the medical fuckups in the last year for me:

Nov 21 - Started noticing Hemglobin starting to fall (men should be 13.2-16.6 or higher), started going under 13 and into the 12 range, doc says "nothing concerning"

Dec 21 -> May 22 (6 months) -> doc continues to say nothing concerning, but one of my other docs is concerned and orders and iron test, which shows my ferritin levels of iron are at like 11 and anything under 10 is considered pretty serious you need iron infused. Still at these levels in May 2022 I'm definitely considered to have mild Iron Deficiency Anemia and I'm at the point where an insurance would allow iron infusions and doctors would recommend them. Yet no doctor tells me this.

May 22/June 22/July 22 - Doc is busy and I'm in the middle of surgery and recovery and this gets sidetracked.

August 22 - Doc sees iron levels and goes - yeah, you should get iron infused, but don't worry if it takes some time getting through your insurance and setup, it's not dangerous.

August 19th-Sept 12th - Takes 3 fucking weeks to get the doctor note to my infusion doctor and them to submit the prescription order.

Sept 12th - Sept 27th - Take 2 fucking weeks for my infusion doctor's corporate office to approve the infusion and send it to my insurance

Sept 29th - Insurance denies it stating my 4.1 week old labs are too old and labs must be within the last 4 weeks showing anemia. I say ok, fuck this I will pay cash, I need these iron infusions done. But the infusion doctor's nurse says if I just go and get new labs it should go through the insurance on the 2nd try so I should do that first. I rush out and do new labs which now show ferritin lvl is down to 3.

October 5th - the infusion doctor auth person finally re-sends it with new labs.

October 7th - Insurance denies it a second time saying you have to state that you've tried oral iron supplements for 4 weeks and it hasn't work or you don't tolerate it. (I've tried oral iron and it doesn't work).

October 10th - Infusion doctor says because it's been denied twice needs to go through longer appeals process so faster to do a peer to peer call and provide the additional information about the 4 weeks of oral iron. Calls the peer 2 peer number and leaves detailed message. P2P says not to leave multiple messages.

October 12th - Insurance peer 2 peer hasn't called back, doctor leaves another message.

October 13th - Insurance peer 2 peer coordinate calls infusion doctor coordinator as says "we don't have the latest labs and doctors notes. Please fax them and I'll send them to the insurance clinical reviewer and they will call to set up a peer 2 peer call with the infusion doctor.

Meanwhile I'm getting weaker and weaker in fatigue and symptoms every week/day.

Finally today Oct 13th - I call the nurse and say I'm falling apart and on the fence of going to ER which will fuck me over of the dozens of thousands of dollars I'm sure, so it'll be cheaper to just pay cash and do it at your office. While the doc is trying to get the insurance to talk to them can we at least do a backup cash payment version so I can get on schedule instead of having to go through hoops in another week if the insurance says no.

And they get the cash discount payment amount and it's...not that much. Like I was expecting thousands of dollars, but it's like $1k and I'm like dude if I knew it was going to cost 1k I would have done this weeks ago. So we go ahead and set it up for mid next week.

So either the peer 2 peer happens and it gets insurance approved and covered and I do it next week, or I just pay $1k and do it anyhow and I can try to fight the insurance after for reimbursement because it really should be covered.

So now I just have to try to survive about a week without dying or doing so bad I need to go to the ER and get iron infused. Fingers crossed I can make it.


----
Separately on top of all this, I get my main crohn's diseases immune-suppressant drug every 6 weeks for the last 13 years. My next infusion is scheduled for Tue Oct 11th and they call me last week on my birthday on Thursday Oct 6th and go "uhhh, we wanna save $$$ so we're changing everyone on this med to a biosimilar" and I'm like "yeah, let me check with my doctor to see if this is safe/practical" and after spending my entire birthday on the phone with docs and researching this stuff I get back to them on Friday and say "ok, fine, let's do this" and they go "ok, you should be fine for your Tuesday infusion"

Monday at like 4pm - They call and say "were cancelling your infusion tomorrow because we didn't have time to get authorization from your insurance for this new medication (even though I have authorization for the original and this is a biosimilar of it), we're asap on this and will have this in a day or two and you can do your infusion, check back on Wednesday

Wednesday afternoon - authorization person at my infusion doctor "uhh, we are on top of this and should have it by tomorrow, check then"

Thursday afternoon (today) - authorization person at my infusion doc "oh, because this new medication which WE FORCED YOU TO CHANGE TO 4 DAYS BEFORE YOUR NEXT INFUSION is a new mediation it has to go through a 1-2 week internal review and approval at our corporate. It just cleared that today, we'll get it to your insurance this afternoon and maybe we'll have approval tomorrow afternoon"

So...if they actually got it over this afternoon and if my insurance actually approves it, may be able to order it monday and do this infusion next tuesday which is 1 week late. All because they changed the medication on their own (and fwiw looking up biosimilars it seems like there's a 1/11 chance of the meds to stop working when changing to a biosimilar -_-, but my doc said every hospital/infusion place has switched to a biosimilar so there's no where I can even stay on my existing infusion med anymore so gotta go to a biosimilar which he said he's very comfortable with since most of the time people have no issues switching).


Anyhow, it's likely that like 50% of my symptoms are coming from the stress and anxiety of dealing with this every day which is exasperating my iron defiency anemia. I've barely been working and life has been total shit for a while. My main doc has fucked up by not even investigating my iron levels after 6 months of dropping red blood cells and then taking 3 weeks to even get an iron infusion order to my infusion doctor, my infusion doctor has fucked up by not submitting the right paperwork twice and lagging every step of the way and having a 2 week internal review delay before even submitting it to my insurance and my insurance has fucked up by not getting back on the peer 2 peer to resolve the issue. Just the american health system at work.


Out of all my doctors, the only doctor I have that is actually responsive and awesome at getting things done, where I call and actually get a real person who can do things and I can squeeze in and see my doc on pretty short notice, is my one doctor who is out of networks and doesn't take insurance and costs me like $300 out of pocket every time I see him for a 10 min follow up. Which sucks, but it's also ironic in that when you're not jumping through all the insurance hoops and just paying real money, you actually get good service and people treat you well and things move quick.

Reminds me of one time a few years ago I had a throat bleeding issue and none of the main hospital doctors could figure it out and then the above guy recommended some hot shot throat guy that works with voice actors and it was $800 cash for an appointment, but I was doing really bad and could barely talk, and I saw him for like 30 mins and he figured it out and the ironic thing being there was nothing to actually be done, a polyp on my vocal chord had naturally torn off on its own and the wound had become infected, but it had cleared on its own and it was just at the final stages of scabbing up and healing on its own. But was nice to actually find out what happened.





Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #830 on: October 13, 2022, 08:57:27 PM »
Anyhow, tldr I should have both my crohn's meds and the iron infusion next week. So just gotta make it through this anemia for another week and then things should start to improve (although I read the first two weeks of an iron infusion can feel like the flu for 2 weeks straight while your body diverts everything to focus on converting the iron, but then should feel a lot better coming out of it and it shouldn't be dangerous, just shitty feeling).

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #831 on: October 13, 2022, 09:28:33 PM »
I will pray for you daily Bebpo. I love you. Keep us updated.
IYKYK

Tasty

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #832 on: October 13, 2022, 10:04:17 PM »
That sounds absolutely awful man. I really hope they get their shit together soon, this would be comical if it wasn't so frustrating. Honestly you should email your post to everyone involved just to spell it out, because that's fucking ridiculous.

Hope you feel better quickly. 🫂

benjipwns

  • your bright ideas always burn me
  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #833 on: October 14, 2022, 12:51:17 AM »
Finally today Oct 13th - I call the nurse and say I'm falling apart and on the fence of going to ER which will fuck me over of the dozens of thousands of dollars I'm sure, so it'll be cheaper to just pay cash and do it at your office. While the doc is trying to get the insurance to talk to them can we at least do a backup cash payment version so I can get on schedule instead of having to go through hoops in another week if the insurance says no.

And they get the cash discount payment amount and it's...not that much. Like I was expecting thousands of dollars, but it's like $1k and I'm like dude if I knew it was going to cost 1k I would have done this weeks ago. So we go ahead and set it up for mid next week.

...

Out of all my doctors, the only doctor I have that is actually responsive and awesome at getting things done, where I call and actually get a real person who can do things and I can squeeze in and see my doc on pretty short notice, is my one doctor who is out of networks and doesn't take insurance and costs me like $300 out of pocket every time I see him for a 10 min follow up. Which sucks, but it's also ironic in that when you're not jumping through all the insurance hoops and just paying real money, you actually get good service and people treat you well and things move quick.
I think I posted a long time ago in this thread about discovering this personally when I had insurance gaps or stuff just not covered and I think it remains good advice for mental health stuff too, talk to doctors about just paying cash. What insurance gets charged creates an illusion that lots of these services would cost you a lot but... they don't. Especially if it's routine care and not something you need that often. Although even with stuff like prescriptions some of the discount cards (which are free) can make those super cheap too. When you can get a months supply of something for like $3, sometimes a co-pay can be more than this and your insurance might pay like $15 or more for it, it's nuts. :lol

Insurance companies, Medicare, etc. sign all these deals so they can just stamp through as much stuff as possible and nobody cares what it actually costs. Meanwhile, they'll get super anal about $100 over some $5000 procedure or something. My grandma broke her hip and they paid like $400 for some blankets or something at the hospital and were fighting with the hospital over the edges of some expensive charge in the actual surgery which delayed some other stuff and whether or not they'd pay for that (they did) until the came to agreement with the hospital.

Another good one is dentists since a lot of people don't get dental, if you aren't actually having serious problems with your teeth and just need a cleaning every six-months, it can be like $150 cash. Preventive care is important too!

And like you said, sometimes you don't even want to involve insurance you have because it's quicker and easier, I go in and out and pay online while other people are there with the receptionist and somebody is on the phone with insurance forever or something. Not saying insurance is bad (catastrophic insurance seems particularly good to me) but sometimes it might do to pretend you don't have it if you do because turning insurance into pre-payment plans was a stupid idea. Lots of places will do payment plans and stuff too. Good doctors want to help people after all.

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #834 on: October 14, 2022, 02:09:56 AM »
Bebpo, even a diet of salmon and spinach doesn't help with your iron levels? It doesn't absorb at all?
IYKYK

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #835 on: October 14, 2022, 02:14:01 AM »
Bebpo, even a diet of salmon and spinach doesn't help with your iron levels? It doesn't absorb at all?

Nah, I've been on a iron-rich diet for months. At best it's slowed down the iron loss. Idk. Will try to figure out the source of what's causing the iron loss next. My doctor thinks it might be a thyroid issue. Or it could be small bowel bacterial overgrowth (SIBO) which eats iron before you can absorb it. Or it might be from long-term use of PPI (proton pump inhibitors for acid reflux) or it could just be a long-term of having IBD/Crohn's and changes in ability to absorb iron. Because there's multiple possibilities (and could be something completely else), need to do various tests and stuff once I get my iron levels back to normal.

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #836 on: October 14, 2022, 07:15:50 PM »
And after my long vent yesterday and almost two full months of all my time spent on trying to get my iron going, both my iron and my crohn's meds got approved today so I will be doing both next week and can get started on my iron/red blood cells/anemia fixing.

I guess the trick to to vent.

Definitely a stress relief. Hopefully the side effects on the new meds are minimal and I start feeling a lot better in a couple of weeks.

Himu

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #837 on: October 14, 2022, 07:19:14 PM »
I'm glad!
IYKYK

Tasty

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #838 on: October 14, 2022, 07:28:03 PM »
Speak, and sometimes the Universe will listen.

Bebpo

  • Senior Member
Re: Depression/mental health thread
« Reply #839 on: October 14, 2022, 07:35:55 PM »
Thanks for all the support  :heart