Cindi, something I'm curious about, does your condition manifest primarily on the physical side, as in a sense of wrongness about how the body is constructed, or is there a large element of wanting to be traditionally girly/feminine too?
I would think if the main problem is that your body feels wrong, then priority #1 is getting the body to a point where you're comfortable. Is the compulsion to be feminine mostly an attempt to then fit into society afterward? Like, all you wanted was a change to the body, really who gives a shit about dresses or lipstick or girly hobbies, other than having others consider you a woman? Unless you just happen to like dresses. Is it critical that others consider you a woman too, if the main problem was not feeling at home in your own body and now that's fixed? This isn't asking for permission for others to be like "lol ur still a dude," of course it's shitty for people to abuse someone over their choices and just saying "ur really a dude" could be considered that. But I'm asking does it cause as much distress as the physical sense of wrongness? Basically, once you've transitioned is there anything anyone can really do to hurt you. What's their opinion worth anyway.
Do you think more than just the physical body and chromosomes, there's a literal male brain and female brain, and female brains are somehow more likely to enjoy feminine activities?
There's always a lot of talk about breaking down gender norms, giving toy trucks to girls and dolls to guys...like not even letting kids have a say in what clothes or toys they gravitate towards, because media pumps them full of subconscious signals to behave a certain way, so you have to force them to try opposite gender stuff even if they hate it. But if gender norms are so harmful then you would think it would be equally harmful for a trans person to try so hard to pass, to adopt as many feminine mannerisms, habits, clothing, likes and dislikes as possible. They're not breaking down the norms, they're reinforcing them by saying "I need to do this to be considered a woman." Is it a shitty thing you just have to do and ideally you wouldn't need to? Or is it something you really want to do and there's nothing wrong with the norms?
I suspect you would think there's nothing wrong with gender norms, other than in the broad sense that letting people like what they like promotes tolerance toward transsexuals. But I wanted to hear your take anyway.
I don't think there's anything wrong with norms unless society is preventing people from breaking them when they feel like it. Like if you wanna talk jobs, if women just seem to not be drawn to certain types of jobs I don't think there's any particular reason why we should try to force it. Let women choose the jobs they want. As long as they're not avoiding those jobs specifically because they expect abuse in them, stuff like that.
Both. The physical side is represented in an inherent acknowledgement of male sexual characteristics (body hair, have a penis, lack of boobs;etc.) as
wrong. If I could be a cis chick I'd give it all up in a heartbeat. It's not just physical but also mental. I hated the sex drive I had as a boy. The thought of it disgusts me. I'm also attracted to presenting femininity as well but I don't attribute that to my being trans, it's just a me thing.
Dysphoria isn't just a physical thing but also a social thing. Someone calling you a man can hurt. Like, growing up, the act of being separated into groups by sex pissed me off for reasons I couldn't explain.
I do believe in male brain/female brain but I also admit that I believe a lot of this stuff is attributed to hormone levels. My transition has helped me realize just how much hormones shape behavior. I do not think women are more predisposed to enjoy feminine activities. That, in my experience, is entirely personal and even cultural.
That is a social construct but is wholly separate from the idea on whether or not gender itself is a social construct ( a claim I deny). But me training martial arts, enjoying chatting with the girls on a spa day, going to fighting game tournaments, or dressing in pretty dresses do not make up what I define myself as a woman. It would be stupid as fuck to say women naturally enjoy feminine things, because I know plenty dudes who like feminine things from My Little Pony to drag queens, and no one is questioning them being a man. I know plenty of women who are into masculine things. Sports, being a "stud", shit like that. Their womanhood is never questioned. Basically, basing gender on what someone likes or enjoys doing is infantile.
I don't give a
fuck about breaking gender norms and that isn't what being trans is about. Let kids play with whatever they want, but leave ideology bullshit out of it. I'm the type of chick who will go to a martial arts tournament in a dress wearing heels just to watch because it's me. Not because of some dumb idea of gender. I don't subscribe to the "women do this" "men do this" thing. I say do whatever the fuck you want. I never really had to try to take to female mannerisms for example, so it's not performative for me and I don't think I'm reinforcing gender stereotypes. I think this is a legitimate concern, but I also think people underplay the differences between men and women and the role hormones play between them. That being said, I fully admit that I am gender conformist and I idolize femininity and find it empowering. But I don't believe in putting a performance on it. On the flip side I do not find a man simply putting on lipstick as
being a woman.
I think the jobs thing is legit though depending on the circumstance. Like, it's fascinating that there's lacking women in certain fields and I see nothing wrong with acknowledging that, hey, Lego is kind of advertised as being a boys thing, for example.
I hope what I'm saying makes sense.
