so, forcing a random person to go through life-changing trauma that could result in them being found liable for your death in some way and have massive social consequences for them (especially in today's world, being labeled a trans-killer) is horrifyingly selfish and short-sighted, and honestly should result in a ban on era
however, we're talking about era, so what TheGummyBear really meant was "trying to muster up the courage to throw myself under a car and failing"