Movie News, Reviews, and Discussion Super-Thread

[TVC15]

OMG TVC I'm watching Hellraiser Judgement on free Vudu and lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo at the mid 00s horror aesthetic and a fat fuck literally eating paper with, literally, the tears of children as salad dressing

Those first 15 minutes or so are amazing.

It -is- one of the better sequels.

[TVC15]

Hellraiser 7: Deader. This was the european death cult one. This one was also actuallynot so bad. If you found it while scrounging for cheapo horror on Netflix, you'd think you found a treasure. It is a little repetitive, and it does suffer from the "features 5 minutes of Pinhead" issue, but hey, it ain't bad.

Hellraiser 6: Hellseeker was really bad, though. Like 5, it feels like a noir-y Tales from the Crypt episode with Pinhead stapled in, but it's not nearly as well done, which is saying something because 5 was not well done. The music is notably bad. Kristy from the first two movies is in it. Warning: it bad.

Moving on to Hellworld, the MMO one. I remember this one being delightfully bad in a fun way.

[TVC15]

Hellraiser 8: Hellworld. The MMO one. Jesus this is a mess and Lance Henriksen will do anything for a dollar. This feels like the most slasher-esque of the Hellraiser movies and oddly enough, one of the few beholden to the mythology established in the second movie. It's not coherent at all, but it's a pretty great and cheesy good time. It's an entertaining flick, and some of the sets are nice.

On to Revelations, the one with Fat Pinhead. This is the worst of the movies iirc. It feels like it has the production values of a gay porn movie.

[TVC15]

Judgement relied a bit too much on pure gross out at times to me, but other than that it's pretty solid considering the extremely low bar the Hellraiser series sets. I feel like it's pretty much the same plot as Inferno, though, but it's been so long since I've seen that I really don't remember anything except some ghoul chewing on a finger or something. The ending was fucking trash and the last shot should have been excised entirely.

I'm wondering if the last shot was meant to put a quick close to the series? Remember, due to child rapist and murderer of Anthony Bourdain AND the #MeToo movement, the witch Asia Argento, the Weinsteins aren't going to be making more Hellraiser movies anytime soon,.

[Joe Molotov]

Judgement relied a bit too much on pure gross out at times to me, but other than that it's pretty solid considering the extremely low bar the Hellraiser series sets. I feel like it's pretty much the same plot as Inferno, though, but it's been so long since I've seen that I really don't remember anything except some ghoul chewing on a finger or something. The ending was fucking trash and the last shot should have been excised entirely.

I'm wondering if the last shot was meant to put a quick close to the series? Remember, due to child rapist and murderer of Anthony Bourdain AND the #MeToo movement, the witch Asia Argento, the Weinsteins aren't going to be making more Hellraiser movies anytime soon,.

Clive Barker needs to buy the rights back and direct that remake he wrote with a 90-year old Doug Bradley in it. 

[TVC15]

Ugh there’s nothing good in theaters now

[TVC15]

I'm too scared to watch a DC movie alone. The only one I've seen is Wonder Woman (with a friend).

[TVC15]

Huh, Total Recall is playing across the street from me at 10:30pm. Might see it. It's a far better movie than Blade Runner.

[agrajag]

Huh, Total Recall is playing across the street from me at 10:30pm. Might see it. It's a far better movie than Blade Runner.

there's a little boutique theater in Miami that's a vanity project od Gloria Estefan's son that plays old movies. I should go sometime.

[Joe Molotov]

Huh, Total Recall is playing across the street from me at 10:30pm. Might see it. It's a far better movie than Blade Runner.

there's a little boutique theater in Miami that's a vanity project od Gloria Estefan's son that plays old movies. I should go sometime.

Check the listings for Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth

[agrajag]

shit they showed Fire Walk With Me a couple of weeks ago

[agrajag]

True Lies is overrated.

[toku]

Arnold's 90s run is underrated imo. They absolutely had a formula for this shit by then but some are amazing in just how goofy they are. I had totally forgot that 1996's "Eraser" exists until I saw it pop up on netflix and what a dumb movie:

[agrajag]

or your a spineless sycophant trying to appease your associates.

[kingv]

True Lies was meaningful to me.    I was 16 and it had been years since I’d jerked off to anything without inner labia or a Brazilian girl sucking off a horse or something.

Is this a reference to Jamie Lee Curtis being trans?

[agrajag]

or your a spineless sycophant trying to appease your associates.

*you're

that was not a denial

[Great Rumbler]

[agrajag]

True Lies was meaningful to me.    I was 16 and it had been years since I’d jerked off to anything without inner labia or a Brazilian girl sucking off a horse or something.

Is this a reference to Jamie Lee Curtis being trans?

hermaphrodite

[kingv]

Oh, yes, I apologize for misgendering her.

[Bebpo]

Finally got around to watching Apostle

Eh, was ok. Had lot of alright ideas but come the last 30 mins kinda couldn't figure out a way to do enough with them and the interesting build up doesn't really pay off much in the end. Also RE4 cameo monster out of nowhere is pretty funny.

I think after Raid 2 and this, a Gareth Evan's movie where he doesn't write the script might not be that bad of an idea. Then again with his next movie being DC's Deathstroke apparently I wouldn't credit DC film's writer to give a much better script so who knows.

[Great Rumbler]

The Running Man is as awful as Total Recall is great

Not true.

[D3RANG3D]

[paprikastaude]

On a related note, I've watched Commando yesterday. Still hearing that sax in my head and they did a good job of portraying Arnold's muscle, though not much of him being a skillful soldier.

[agrajag]

The Running Man is better than both Terminators. (This one isn't a joke).

Boo this man.

[agrajag]

real talk, if you guys do the whole group movie watching thing, you should do a marathon of Arnie's filmography

[kingv]

This is the bore, not bateworld sir.

[agrajag]

Great, now I have bateworld in my google history in addition to all the other questionable shit

[Joe Molotov]

Great, now I have bateworld in my google history in addition to all the other questionable shit

Don't google The Bire.

[TVC15]

Birdbox. Are we supposed to believe Sandra Bullock is young enough to be preggers? She's in her fucking 50s. F-.

[TVC15]

And we're also to believe someone would have bothered to dick this other woman to get her pregnant? What, was the Christmas ham refusing the father's advances?

This movie is shit.

[TVC15]

Sandra, in an effort to look younger than 60, also hsa one of the worst nose jobs I've ever seen, and I watch RuPaul's Drag Race. America's White Lady is a horrible ugly monster.

[TVC15]

She looks like Michael fuckin Jackson.

[eleuin]

 

[TVC15]

Are you drunk, stost?

[HyperZoneWasAwesome]

IM BACK MUTHA-LOVERS!!!!

Was spending too much time online, computer broke, just didn't get in a hurry to replace it. But here I am, yet returning, for prestige movie season, and I've got a big backlog of things to hector ya'all about.

So while an apparently underwhelming Sandra Bullock film (shock) takes up a lot of ink and conversation, all of about a week or so prior Netflix put out what is easily one of the best films of the year in Roma. Alfonso Cuaron's meticulously composed sorta-memoir of early 70's Mexico City told from the vantage of a family's lowest ranking member. If its not the best film I've seen this year its at least a respectable pick, its certainly the best looking film I've seen this year. I pity the fools who can only watch it at home on their 65' 4K HDR sets, as its quite really a stunning theatrical experience (if you get a chance, please go). Cuaron brings the same chops he's made his science-fiction thrillers with to a domestic situation in a tumultuous period and the results are deeply moving, thrilling, and sometimes just plain hilarious.

Vice comes in second.
Vice's grip on quality gradually loosens.
Bale's Vice despoils itself.
Vice offers significant amounts of Rum(sfield).
So yeah, Vice isn't quite all the way there, but there's still a fair bit to like about it. The performances are strong (Sam Rockwell is a treat as an especially gormless version of W.), some of the jokes are clever and suitably puncturing, and as a serio-comic look at a guy who's pursing power for the sake of having power its pretty good. But as a historical retelling a bit too glib, and its tricky tonal balance that its successful in wrangling earlier on fades significantly as the film progresses. So its not wholly satisfying as a film, but its a well intentioned base hit at least. Still not a bad place to be.


and many more reviews to come...

[BlueTsunami]

IM BACK MUTHA-LOVERS!!!!

Was spending too much time online, computer broke, just didn't get in a hurry to replace it. But here I am, yet returning, for prestige movie season, and I've got a big backlog of things to hector ya'all about.

So while an apparently underwhelming Sandra Bullock film (shock) takes up a lot of ink and conversation, all of about a week or so prior Netflix put out what is easily one of the best films of the year in Roma. Alfonso Cuaron's meticulously composed sorta-memoir of early 70's Mexico City told from the vantage of a family's lowest ranking member. If its not the best film I've seen this year its at least a respectable pick, its certainly the best looking film I've seen this year. I pity the fools who can only watch it at home on their 65' 4K HDR sets, as its quite really a stunning theatrical experience (if you get a chance, please go). Cuaron brings the same chops he's made his science-fiction thrillers with to a domestic situation in a tumultuous period and the results are deeply moving, thrilling, and sometimes just plain hilarious.

Vice comes in second.
Vice's grip on quality gradually loosens.
Bale's Vice despoils itself.
Vice offers significant amounts of Rum(sfield).
So yeah, Vice isn't quite all the way there, but there's still a fair bit to like about it. The performances are strong (Sam Rockwell is a treat as an especially gormless version of W.), some of the jokes are clever and suitably puncturing, and as a serio-comic look at a guy who's pursing power for the sake of having power its pretty good. But as a historical retelling a bit too glib, and its tricky tonal balance that its successful in wrangling earlier on fades significantly as the film progresses. So its not wholly satisfying as a film, but its a well intentioned base hit at least. Still not a bad place to be.


and many more reviews to come...

Hyper with the gotdamn truth.

Ive been waffling on Vice, seems like I will skip it now

Roma is EVERYTHING for me though

[TVC15]

I was going to see Roma tonight but I stayed in and watched Charmed instead. Wise choice.

[BlueTsunami]

I was going to see Roma tonight but I stayed in and watched Charmed instead. Wise choice.

Shannon Dohertys lazy eye could cure aids

[TVC15]

Jesus Charmed is bad. It's barely better than Burning.

[Transhuman]

Jesus Charmed is bad. It's barely better than Burning.

This Burning??

[TVC15]

Jesus Charmed is bad. It's barely better than Burning.

This Burning??

Yes, most overhyped flopza of the year, Burning. AKA Babby's First South Korean Movie.

[BlueTsunami]

Jesus Charmed is bad. It's barely better than Burning.

This Burning??

Yes, most overhyped flopza of the year, Burning. AKA Babby's First South Korean Movie.

Aka hey lets EXPLAIN EVERYTHANG

[TVC15]

That movie was such a waste of time. A movie with a prominent suspense or mystery angle with no suspense, tension, or momentum. It's a disaster in that regard, except hey, dumbass Americans could follow it, so it must be great, right?

The filthy, slack-jawed main character never closes his mouth in the movie. He is a disease vector.

[BlueTsunami]

The multi cam incencst faux reveal was fucking hilarious though

My skin was CRAWLING

[TVC15]

For real, nobody will mention this again after next year. I'm guessing SK just had a weak cinema year so they had to hype up something mediocre.

[Transhuman]

Thanks for ruining my afternoon plans I guess

[TVC15]

Thanks for ruining my afternoon plans I guess

By all means, see it. It has killer reviews. I must be missing something, right?

[Transhuman]

I appreciate the effort but i'm not that gullible

[TVC15]

This The Burning is far superior, though. Given to us by people taken away by Asia Argento...

[BlueTsunami]

Fuck that, my love

More.like

YOURE WELCOME

dont worry, there's more goofy TWIZZTS to look forward to

[TVC15]

How did I spoil it?

[TVC15]

Oh, it was blue. Take that entire post and redirect it to blue. We're still ok.

Girl, don't waste your time with Burning unless you want to try to figure out why the reviews are so good despite the low quality of the movie. It's not even a particularly good looking movie. The acting is ok, but nothing notable.

Instead, watch Hellraiser Judgment.

[BlueTsunami]

[BlueTsunami]

Watch Three o'clock high instead pls

[TVC15]

Watch Three o'clock high instead pls

YASDSDDDSSSSSS

[TVC15]

[BlueTsunami]

English teacher scene should be eroticism 101

[TVC15]

Ugggggh, I think this second bottle of wine is bad. Might have to move on to rum.

[TVC15]

Let's watch Three o'Clock High, Blue. Right now. You wear your sexiest underwear, I'll put on a bondage harness.

[BlueTsunami]

Let's watch Three o'Clock High, Blue. Right now. You wear your sexiest underwear, I'll put on a bondage harness.

Thats a 10-4
wearing the.skimpiest Calvin Klein boxer briefs at the moment