I’d imagine for a woman that likes being punched and choked, the only thing that makes her dry up faster than a man who can’t get it up is one that wants her to make the move and overthinks every interaction with her. I think you need to learn that there’s a difference between taking a chance and going for it and asserting your will on someone.
Real talk, i wanted my wife so bad before we had sex. We were best friends, fooled around but never fucked. I had built it up so much that the first time I couldn’t get it up for like half an hour and then we had the most unsatisfying sex. Ugh. It was shameful and I was pissed at myself. But instead of being all awkward and thinking how I blew it, I told her “trust me, I can do better” and then did so.