RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011

[BlueTsunami]

The Assimilate way: do stuff because that stuff impress bitches

The riotous way: do stuff because it's fun and fulfilling and you'll become a person who impresses bitches

It's a subtle difference 

Also don't call women bitches.

Passion is hot too. Passion for another, and passion in ventures. It definitely comes through.

[BIONIC]

The Assimilate way: do stuff because that stuff impress bitches

The riotous way: do stuff because it's fun and fulfilling and you'll become a person who impresses bitches

It's a subtle difference 

Also don't call women bitches.

bitchtous

[MMaRsu]

also stop with the fake baller talk. noone wants a cracker from an h&m catalogue talking to them abt coming for a smoke at your crib, or starting an initial message with eyyyyy. just be nice, talk like a normal fking adult and you'll be fine.

Well cmon man the way I talk isnt the way I type on here. I'm used to typing like this anyway.

And personally Eyy *fistbump* isn't the worst way to greet a friend or homie. That's why I said we give eachother fistbumps all the time when I go to the shop. But yeah, could have sent a better message for sure I won't disagree on that.

Either way.. three days later no reply lol. I get the message was stupid but cmon. I was thinking of sending something like so you wanna hang out next week? Or something along those lines, but I'm not really a fan of sending another msg when the first one went unanswered.

[Nintex]

To be fair to MM it is awfully common for Dutch dudes to talk like crackhead gangsters with an accent in the urban areas. There's a bunch of artists who made a living out of that and mispronouncing words. Just look up Lange Frans and Yes-R. 

[MMaRsu]

I don't talk like them man. Please don't compare me to those morons. I also didn't grow up in an 'urban' area. Nor do I live in one of those randstad cities, or garbage cities like Alkmaar.

[Ghoul]

I say just shoot your shot via text, I mean if you go to the shop be like "hey how's it going" but don't pressure someone whilst they're at work as that's a big no no.

If she doesn't reply then least you know now that there's not really a chance

[VomKriege]

To be fair to MM it is awfully common for Dutch dudes to talk like crackhead gangsters with an accent in the urban areas. There's a bunch of artists who made a living out of that and mispronouncing words. Just look up Lange Frans and Yes-R. 

I don't talk like them man. Please don't compare me to those morons. I also didn't grow up in an 'urban' area. Nor do I live in one of those randstad cities, or garbage cities like Alkmaar.

Laat ze vechten.

[Nintex]

I don't talk like them man. Please don't compare me to those morons. I also didn't grow up in an 'urban' area. Nor do I live in one of those randstad cities, or garbage cities like Alkmaar.

Ah so you're from the provincie, in that case just send her a song to cheer her up

[MMaRsu]

I was born in Zwolle which is a normal decent city.. lived there for about 11/12 years then moved to Drenthe which is a farmers province really.. then up to near groningen which is in the upper provinces as well, but always hated the 'farmer' accent they use over there so I never took it over. Then moved down to Brabant, the lower provinces. Here they are also weird with their carneval and funny accent haha.

In middle school I have to admit I did hang out with a bunch of cool guys, bit gangster but very mixed cultures. A lot of molukkers at my school, but was good friends with a Ukrainian guy who moved to The Netherlands when he was young. Aside from that there were some indo's and ofcourse dutch people as well. But I did learn and discover hiphop when I went to middle school, before that I was very much a System of a Down/Rage against the machine long black pants type guy  . But I love all sorts of music now, but since I have mostly worked in customer service for various banks and energy companies, I've always tried to keep my accent non existent. But with friends yeah sure Ill fistbump, we do talk with a bit of urban slang sometimes I must admit.



What even is this music you posted..im scared to click it (dutch music fucking suuuuucks)

[Nintex]

I was born in Zwolle which is a normal decent city.. lived there for about 11/12 years then moved to Drenthe which is a farmers province really.. then up to near groningen which is in the upper provinces as well, but always hated the 'farmer' accent they use over there so I never took it over. Then moved down to Brabant, the lower provinces. Here they are also weird with their carneval and funny accent haha.

In middle school I have to admit I did hang out with a bunch of cool guys, bit gangster but very mixed cultures. A lot of molukkers at my school, but was good friends with a Ukrainian guy who moved to The Netherlands when he was young. Aside from that there were some indo's and ofcourse dutch people as well. But I did learn and discover hiphop when I went to middle school, before that I was very much a System of a Down/Rage against the machine long black pants type guy  . But I love all sorts of music now, but since I have mostly worked in customer service for various banks and energy companies, I've always tried to keep my accent non existent. But with friends yeah sure Ill fistbump, we do talk with a bit of urban slang sometimes I must admit.



What even is this music you posted..im scared to click it (dutch music fucking suuuuucks)

Dutch EDM is great. A whole bunch of Dutch music is great (that people don't know is Dutch music) but this is a 'special' type of music to share with our non-Dutch friends 

I live near the beach in a coastal town in the Bollenstreek. Leiden is where I spend most of my time for studies and work for the past 12 years or so.
For music it was just Dragonball Z AMV"s all day every day for me and my homies in High School with Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park and the likes and of course Daft Punk, Snoop Dogg, DMX and Eminem.
Moving on it was Trance which later became EDM. A lot of people around me had interest in music so I got a whole bunch of different influences from hard rock and metal to an Indo friend practicing guitar solo's.
He  also became a real Brabander after his parents divorced and his mom moved there which was always fun during the weekends he visited his dad and we went out.
Good times 

[Ghoul]

just fuck already, god damn.

[tiesto]

I was born in Zwolle which is a normal decent city.. lived there for about 11/12 years then moved to Drenthe which is a farmers province really.. then up to near groningen which is in the upper provinces as well, but always hated the 'farmer' accent they use over there so I never took it over. Then moved down to Brabant, the lower provinces. Here they are also weird with their carneval and funny accent haha.

In middle school I have to admit I did hang out with a bunch of cool guys, bit gangster but very mixed cultures. A lot of molukkers at my school, but was good friends with a Ukrainian guy who moved to The Netherlands when he was young. Aside from that there were some indo's and ofcourse dutch people as well. But I did learn and discover hiphop when I went to middle school, before that I was very much a System of a Down/Rage against the machine long black pants type guy  . But I love all sorts of music now, but since I have mostly worked in customer service for various banks and energy companies, I've always tried to keep my accent non existent. But with friends yeah sure Ill fistbump, we do talk with a bit of urban slang sometimes I must admit.



What even is this music you posted..im scared to click it (dutch music fucking suuuuucks)

Dutch EDM is great. A whole bunch of Dutch music is great (that people don't know is Dutch music) but this is a 'special' type of music to share with our non-Dutch friends 

I live near the beach in a coastal town in the Bollenstreek. Leiden is where I spend most of my time for studies and work for the past 12 years or so.
For music it was just Dragonball Z AMV"s all day every day for me and my homies in High School with Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park and the likes and of course Daft Punk, Snoop Dogg, DMX and Eminem.
Moving on it was Trance which later became EDM. A lot of people around me had interest in music so I got a whole bunch of different influences from hard rock and metal to an Indo friend practicing guitar solo's.
He  also became a real Brabander after his parents divorced and his mom moved there which was always fun during the weekends he visited his dad and we went out.
Good times 

90s Dutch trance was soooo good (hell look at my username, made back when Tiesto actually played prog and trance), the later day Dutch edm, not so much.

[james]

Lasgo and Ian Van Dahl were GOAT

[team filler]

dutch women 

[OnlyRegret]

pair up MM and Nintex and that's like eleven problems with one stone

[BisMarckie]

dutch women 

[HardcoreRetro]

I don't talk like them man. Please don't compare me to those morons. I also didn't grow up in an 'urban' area. Nor do I live in one of those randstad cities, or garbage cities like Alkmaar.

Ah so you're from the provincie, in that case just send her a song to cheer her up

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q4jyk-ku[/youtube

Use this classic instead.

[james]

dutch women 

 

[BisMarckie]

I don't talk like them man. Please don't compare me to those morons. I also didn't grow up in an 'urban' area. Nor do I live in one of those randstad cities, or garbage cities like Alkmaar.

Ah so you're from the provincie, in that case just send her a song to cheer her up

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q4jyk-ku[/youtube

Use this classic instead.

[MMaRsu]

Ok I went to buy some weed and she said she wanted to come by tomorrow around 17.30

 

We'll see but I could be in fellas

[VomKriege]

Ok I went to buy some weed and she said she wanted to come by tomorrow around 17.30

 

We'll see but I could be in fellas

No choke, no fist bump in the first 5mn and that should be a date.

[MMaRsu]

Ok shit since rioutous spent all that typing on the last page Ill type what I was typing before I deleted it

Ok so today I was feeling good after having done my morning excercise and since she didnt respond anything about what I asked her earlier, yeah I was feeling like I'll just try to actually get something going or not lol. So I didn't read rioutous post before just now, so I did actually sent her "Hey *name* ^_^ Wanna hang out this weekend or next week?

Then I cleaned my appartment and went to the city to buy groceries and weed. Still gonna go to that shop, since it has the best weed so fuck it I thought if she's working I'll just get the weed and don't say anything about all this hanging out stuff. Since I think rioutous also said that it might feel as pressure to her. So I walked in the shop and I was third in line, she was actually working. I thought damn but kept thinking ok just get the weed don't say a thing else. But she spotted me and gave me the ol headnod, so I felt less awkward.

When it was my turn, she started talking "yeah I saw your msg but didn't have time to respond yet, I gotta work this weekend but I can come by tomorrow around 17.15/17.30? I said yeah sure that works. In my mind I was thinking whuut? She then said she'd text me for what the adress was, and I said ok yeah then I'll see you tomorrow then (or something to that effect, I was ofcourse high when I went to the city). So then I ordered my weed, complimented her on her hoodie which had a cool text on it, she said she got it from her mom for christmas and that she didnt expect it to get it from her mom because she's all decent (the hoodyhad some crazy text on it about her having tourrettes motherfucker). I said well she just knew this was perfect for you, she said something like yuup. Ok then I paid for the weed, we pumped fists, then I left? She said allright by and later or something to that effect.

So if she actually comes by that would be crazy. I didn't start this convo again and she didn't seem nervous or awkward but who knows. VomKriege ofcourse we bumped fists we always do that :'). I mean might not be a date but who the fuck knows.

Maybe I should just sent her a message with my adress and like see you tommorrow then

?

[MMaRsu]

Agreed lol we'll see what happens maybe she never shows up wouldnt surprise me neither. Her showing up would be lol as well

ill just text the adress tomorrow? or today.. hmm 🤣🤷🏼‍♂️

[BlueTsunami]

The Increasingly Bad Decisions of a Bud Tender

her being too busy to respond to a simple text over this amount of time is obviously a lie BUT you may as well play text chicken with her and see who swerves first lmao

[team filler]

let her text you asking for the address first  if she never does, oh well 

[james]

Women.

Can't live with them, can't live without them.

Am I right boys?

[naff]

she v likely forgot to respond not because the text was really bad or anything it was just nothing of importance. random nicety. I forget to respond to messages all the time, especially when it's just stuff like eeeyyy bro :fistbump hope work's good. or some such. then I feel like a dick when I do remember, but it's been a while and I might just double down on nt responding like eh I fuckd that up oh well.

was at a party a few months back and this v cute girl called Sequoia (lol) hit me up about how I stood her up for a date/never messaged back after I got her number when she worked at this sushi restaurant 5 YEARS ago. these sorts of things can weigh on ppls minds eh. I legit just didn't remember even hitting her up! think I was smoking a lot of weed at the time and was generally an anxious mess when not drinking. it was really cute she remembered so well. if I wasn't with a date I would've loved to make it up to her 

[Valkyrie]

How do I work up the courage to meet up with someone from Tinder to suck some D while sober?

[brawndolicious]

If you don't feel safe, trust your instincts. But if you're afraid of being judged for hooking up or something, the other person is doing the exact same thing. You don't have to tell the more traditional people in your social circle about it.

[Nintex]

Not responding is lol though

The general lack of action on her part might have something to do with her work of selling weed and being around drugs all day 

[team filler]

How do I work up the courage to meet up with someone from Tinder to suck some D while sober?

ask them not to drink or do any drugs before you meet

[tiesto]

Lasgo and Ian Van Dahl were GOAT

They were both Belgian though, not Dutch

[MMaRsu]

Allright well I did send my adress, however its 17.46 and no sign of her 🤷🏼‍♂️. Just gonna assume she aint coming. Lol why make up this story if she has no intentions of hanging out? Oh well 😂.

[Raist]

Maybe she's busy sucking another client's cock, give her a minute for fuck's sake.

[team filler]

Allright well I did send my adress, however its 17.46 and no sign of her 🤷🏼‍♂️. Just gonna assume she aint coming. Lol why make up this story if she has no intentions of hanging out? Oh well 😂.

she's trying to work up the courage to suck you off while sober 

[BlueTsunami]

Allright well I did send my adress, however its 17.46 and no sign of her 🤷🏼‍♂️. Just gonna assume she aint coming. Lol why make up this story if she has no intentions of hanging out? Oh well 😂.

I think riotous already pointed it out but people will go to such lengths to not have to reject someone. The initial no text response should have been enough but her literally saying she'll come hang in person was a curve ball. Now it's time to put this arch to rest. Unless you go back to buy some more weed and she ups the ante by saying she will suck your dick just text her the time (to which she'll never respond).

[team filler]

try calling the number and begging her to hangout 

[team filler]

she'll hit you up if she's bored enough and chad is busy with one of his other girls 

[VomKriege]

Got a new photo of me which is somewhat decent (taken in the wild, by a third party). Didn't really move the needle on OKCupid but on Tinder it seems I have slightly more returns. Still waiting on a decent chat to start but heh.

[bluemax]

So uh, I haven't posted but my ex texted me this past week. She wanted to know if I had started my new job (I start tomorrow). We caught up a bit about how sick her and the other 2 people who were with us on New Year's got and how I avoided it (raw oysters). We've texted a little each day since then, I've been showing her the progress I made on repainting the living room and she's been telling me about how her work is going. I don't really know what this means other than she doesn't hate me as much as I thought she might. Today we both talked about how all we have to do today is chore's and part of me wonders if that was an opening to ask her out, even if just for coffee? I dunno, I'm sure you guys will say to stop and run away or something.

[VomKriege]

It's not necessarily a sign you'll patch things up though it's possible. You should be able to have The Talk™* about what happened and your feelings moving forward.

* It doesn't sound like you had it yet.

[naff]

if you still like her, why not? these guys have no idea what's going on really.

[bluemax]

It's not necessarily a sign you'll patch things up though it's possible. You should be able to have The Talk™* about what happened and your feelings moving forward.

* It doesn't sound like you had it yet.

We have not. It does feel like it needs to happen.

I have gotten through the wallowing phase, and have been able to get back to relatively normal. I think I told my therapist that I feel like I'm about back to where I was emotionally before I met this girl. Maybe a bit better in some ways I guess.

[mormapope]

It's great that you both can and will most likely make peace with what happened. You'll be able to move on with a clear mind and take away something to learn or keep with you.

From experience, getting ghosted by someone where there was an intense emotional and romantic relationship is something that sticks with you. Not being able to make peace or get answers, it's much harder to move on.

I tend to be into suicidal, broken and unchanging women. So the question that's on my mind is typically "did this girl off herself yet?"

[Kara]

In my last relationship (2 years) she cancelled a date after a cooling off period, ghosted me, then contacted me 6 months later on Thanksgiving. Then again on Christmas. I was cordial in both (mostly superficial) interactions but left the ball in her court with bridging the gap she'd dug between us. Spoilers: she didn't and I moved on with my life. People have their own motivations and that's none of my business.

To parlay this anecdote into thread advice: MM, stop Atra posting. Max, you're probably on the hot seat for bridging the gap in your "it's complicated" situation.

[TVC15]

With all do respect to Kara, a valuable member of our community, please keep atra posting. We’re more than a third of the way through January and no good storylines have emerged yet. You’re what we’ve got, MM. You have to deliver. I want someone in therapy because of you, real soon.

[CatsCatsCats]

I’m heating a storyline up, but I’m not sure how to frame it yet, will report back when it’s good content

[TVC15]

Nice. I hope you’ve already gone through your target’s trash to learn the things they’re hiding from you.

[brawndolicious]

It's not necessarily a sign you'll patch things up though it's possible. You should be able to have The Talk™* about what happened and your feelings moving forward.

* It doesn't sound like you had it yet.

We have not. It does feel like it needs to happen.

I have gotten through the wallowing phase, and have been able to get back to relatively normal. I think I told my therapist that I feel like I'm about back to where I was emotionally before I met this girl. Maybe a bit better in some ways I guess.

https://www.ted.com/talks/hannah_fry_the_mathematics_of_love/transcript?language=en

I was listening to the speaker in the above TED talk and her summary was that the couples that stay together long-term are the ones where both people actually acknowledge their problems and try to fix them. Basically, the generic relationship advice that people give to forgive-and-forget, compromise, etc is all fucking wrong. That leads to the inherent problem never being laid to rest.

You can try work with her on the issues you two have but if it's one-sided, then there's no sustainable relationship.

[MMaRsu]

Wait.. why did she send me a fb friend request 😂🤷🏼‍♂️

Or did I mess up and did she say next sunday? Since she did say she was working this weekend? Nahh that would be crazy right? L. o fucking L

[VomKriege]

Wait.. why did she send me a fb friend request 😂🤷🏼‍♂️

Or did I mess up and did she say next sunday? Since she did say she was working this weekend? Nahh that would be crazy right? L. o fucking L

Accepting her would be a good reason to exchange a couple messages.
 
Though FB requests at that point having any romantic subtext seems iffy to me. May be talking out of my arse here but, if I may say so, that's more throwing a bone to signal you're in the "acquaintance-zone". If I'm into someone, my priority would be to hang with them rather than adding them to my network.

I dunno man. Sounds like she's flaking but she did give her number ? Though I guess I can't gauge how insistent she felt your were for that.

[MMaRsu]

I wasn't that insistent, I barely said a word because I was actually a bit flabbergasted she gave me her phone nr, then told me later she'd come and hang out. But yeah maybe I got my dates mixed up? She did mention her having to work this weekend.. but I clearly remember her saying I can come by on sunday. So uhh yeah I dunno.

Either way I wouldn't mind it if she just actually wants to hang out, even as friends I think that would be cool. She seems like a nice girl anyway. I don't have enough female friends in my life so I wouldn't be negative towards just chilling.

All I can say is I'll just accept her friend request.. not say anything  and let it ride. If nothing comes of out of it that's fine too.

[Ghoul]

I wasn't that insistent, I barely said a word because I was actually a bit flabbergasted she gave me her phone nr, then told me later she'd come and hang out. But yeah maybe I got my dates mixed up? She did mention her having to work this weekend.. but I clearly remember her saying I can come by on sunday. So uhh yeah I dunno.

Either way I wouldn't mind it if she just actually wants to hang out, even as friends I think that would be cool. She seems like a nice girl anyway. I don't have enough female friends in my life so I wouldn't be negative towards just chilling.

All I can say is I'll just accept her friend request.. not say anything  and let it ride. If nothing comes of out of it that's fine too.

Just send a bro fist gif on FB. Ya gotta do it man. Sounds like you fucked up your dates, and if she sent you an FB request she at least would like to be friends, or wants to stalk the shit out of you.
But good luck dude, I would send a text to say hey we still on for x date and time just to confirm it maybe?

[Raist]

YOu need to move past fistbumps and go for chokeslams already.

[BlueTsunami]

At least, if it ever comes to choking, you'll have a very real place of frustration to draw from

[MMaRsu]

This isnt frustrating to me 

I think ill go with Ghouls advice, just send a txt like that somewhere in the week or something

[team filler]

you'll be subscribed to her onlyfans soon 

[MMaRsu]

lol whats with the salt I have nothing riding on this, I thinks she's a chill girl and would like to hang out with her. Fucking is a plus but if not its not like im head over heels for this chick. I barely know her man idgaf if nothing comes of it

Also, Ive not hung out much with weed smoking chicks. I did but that was before I really smoked myself.. so even if nothing comes of it no hanging out idgaf but at least it would be nice

[james]

Weed shop? This entire time I assumed it was a Gamestop and amiibo were involved

[naff]

it's sad watching glen tryna be a judgemental troll when they're renown as one of the biggest chumps on the forum