Well officially my long distance whatever relationship has ended today. It sucks, but I do feel a sense of relif. I'm sad, but I know it's not the end of the world. I feel empty, but I know of several things I can and should do to make help that loss.
It ended peacefully with both of us acknowledging well it just wasn't going anywhere. It sucks, but in the end I feel it was very worthwhile. I learned a lot about my self. My weaknesses, my strengths, my likes, my dislikes. It's funny I think it was Glen that said something like "oh when you finally have a relationship you'll have so much sex that the fact that you did'nt before will be made irrelevant". It's so true. Now don't get me wrong I'm super scared about any sexual activity. My first GF was very patient, kind of freaky, and really into sex. I'm worried I'll be able to find someone else like that, but I guess it's not impossible.
I'm still in therapy so that's good. I'm trying to work through the many problems I have and it's going ok. Despite what I said, I do feel actually more confident in my sexual ability. I mean I feel I can do a good job at which is an improvement. I've also resumed school and while I do hate it, I do only have about 5-6 classess to do. There's other tough stuff I'm going through right now that I don't feel the need to detail at this point, but I'm alive and I felt the need to just I guess update this thread. I am worried if I'll be able to find someone else, but I guess thats natural. So really all I can do is keep on trying.