Been in a bit of a funk after some confidence hits last week.
Went out with my friend for the day mid last week. I've known her a year online and texting, but was first time meeting up in person because the pandemic. Was just friend hangout and seemed normal? But after a year of texting almost daily she's kind of ghosted me since and it makes me feel like I did something wrong? I don't know what's up. It wasn't a date and you don't typically ghost friends after a hang out...
Then the next day I went on my SA date, drove to another city far, far away. We met up and...clicked pretty well? Like we both were into horror films and eastern languages (she was a Korean major and me with my Japanese major and we both lived overseas) and pretty progressive and political. We had some really good discussions and she seemed pretty into me and brought up a second date a couple times in our date.
It turned out that she signed up for SA when drunk with her friends since one friend uses the site and was talking about it to her and I was the only guy she talked to since all the rest of the guys were creepy and old and treated her like a prostitute and I just talked to her normal like a normal dating site, and this was her first date on the site and she didn't know what she was doing and I didn't know either and we both laughed about it and got along.
At the end of the date she made the first move and we made out. She's leaving the country in a few months and I'm looking for something long-term/marriage-minded, so it seemed like maybe it'd just be a short-term thing that could work for both of us. When we were leaving she had totally forgot about the pay-per-meet thing and was gonna leave without asking for any money but I stopped her and gave her the money cause we had agreed on it beforehand and I didn't want to act like I was gonna stiff her. Gave her a little extra just to be nice.
She invited me to hang the rest of the night with her friends at karaoke, but the idea of karaoke in a small enclosed room with strangers given covid seemed like a bad idea so I passed. She texted me drunk photos that night from karaoke. Seemed like she was into me? She didn't look like her photos which were obviously pre-pandemic like mine. She had gained weight over the pandemic like lots of people and I'd say in terms of attractiveness she seemed like the kind of person that wouldn't get a lot of people hitting on her. She wasn't bad looking, but very normal. So I thought maybe she was actually interested in me and having a good time.
But then I didn't hear from her the next day and in the evening I texted her and she kinda half-assed texted me back and we texted very shortly and then I think she went to bed and never responded to my last text. That was Friday and it's almost Tuesday and I haven't heard from her since.
It's weird because I'd think if she was legit into me she'd be hitting me up. But otoh if she wasn't into me but saw me as an easy $$$ target...she'd still be hitting me up. So it almost seems like she was actually interested in me in a non-money way, but then just lost interest the next day like sometimes happens in dating and moved on. I did bring up on Friday that I'd like to see her again and she said she'd need to see her next work schedule to know when she's free. It's possible she's just not planning on texting me until then...
Anyhow, having two women that I thought I had connections with (friend & date) two days in a row last week both totally ghost on me over the weekend definitely hit me and knocked me into a depression by Sunday. Getting past it, but it just kinda sucks when I've been off-social for a year and half since the pandemic and then my first time hanging out with women I get ghosted afterwards like I just sucked so much. Just kinda hurts :\
I started talking to someone else and might go on a walk date on Saturday. Not really feeling it since my mind is still hung up on this dumb date from last week, but I'll get over it.
