Celebrity Sexual Harasment Apocalypse Thread

[Steve Contra]

I think it's gross of her to come out and say those things.

Every one has bad relationships. Everyone has stayed in a bad relationship where the other person treats them like a tool. Every one has come out of a bad relationship and had those feelings where you beat yourself up and say "Why did I let them do that to me for so long?"

That feeling of lack of closure can make you pretty bitter and have a biased memory of a relationship.


You try to learn from it and make sure not to make the same mistakes again.

She got into a relationship where there was a huge imbalance between her and her partner. In terms of age, life experience, finances and social status. He abused his leverage and she let it happen.  Doesn't make him a great guy, but it doesn't make him some kind of abnormal monster either.

No, it really does make him an abnormal monster, and he should dragged all over for this.

[I'm a Puppy!]

“I think I love you too, f****t."

This really needs to be in the newsfeed.

[Mandark]

She got into a relationship where there was a huge imbalance between her and her partner. In terms of age, life experience, finances and social status. He abused his leverage and she let it happen.  Doesn't make him a great guy, but it doesn't make him some kind of abnormal monster either.

Kind of wild that you can acknowledge the imbalance, use the term "abused," and still think she was equally at fault or that it's "gross" of her to speak publicly about what happened.

[ToxicAdam]

It was said from the perspective that she was telling the truth. But there is no evidence of that outside of her account. Maybe others will come out later and corroborate her story.

Keep in mind, we're talking about a relationship that was only 2 1/2 years long, in a situation where neither one was obligated to each other (either through marriage, ownership of property or business, or working together).

[Mandark]

Keep in mind, we're talking about a relationship that was only 2 1/2 years long, in a situation where neither one was obligated to each other (either through marriage, ownership of property or business, or working together).

I sincerely have no idea what point this is meant to make.

[CatsCatsCats]

TA just doesn’t want him to be.... Singled Out

[thisismyusername]

Chris Hardwick

Don't know who this guy is, but-

…Including let him sexually assault me. Regularly. I was expected to be ready for him when he came home from work.

How did this happen? At the beginning of our relationship, I was quite ill often due to my diet, something I’ll get to in a bit. One night he initiated, and I said, “I’m so sorry, can we not tonight? I’m feeling really sick.” He responded, “I just want to remind you, the reason my last relationship didn’t work out was because of the lack of sex.” It was a veiled threat. I succumbed.

Every night, I laid there for him, occasionally in tears. He called it “starfishing”. He thought the whole idea was funny. To be fair, I did go along with it out of fear of losing him. I’m still recovering from being sexually used (not in a super fun way) for three years.

The first time I told him I loved him after 6 months of hoping he’d say it first, his response was (and I quote), “I think I love you too, f****t.”

...How is this "sexual assault?"  She let him do it.   It sounds like he's a fucking douchebag but that's it.

Seriously, are you dumb, insensitive, or just confused?

When a person stops resisting during rape, does that mean she's complicit?

She's not using the word "rape," but "assault," designating that was was happening was not a mutually desired act. "Starfishing" may be implying sodomy as well, which she may not have desired, but due to the emotionally abusive relationship, she submitted to it.

If you need an object lesson, come bend over in front of me for the next several months, and I will show you.

Please know if I could give you money for this post, I would. A++, would read and reference in materials.

[Mandark]

http://www.thebore.com/forum/index.php?topic=45505.0

[Madrun Badrun]

Chris Hardwick

Don't know who this guy is, but-

…Including let him sexually assault me. Regularly. I was expected to be ready for him when he came home from work.

How did this happen? At the beginning of our relationship, I was quite ill often due to my diet, something I’ll get to in a bit. One night he initiated, and I said, “I’m so sorry, can we not tonight? I’m feeling really sick.” He responded, “I just want to remind you, the reason my last relationship didn’t work out was because of the lack of sex.” It was a veiled threat. I succumbed.

Every night, I laid there for him, occasionally in tears. He called it “starfishing”. He thought the whole idea was funny. To be fair, I did go along with it out of fear of losing him. I’m still recovering from being sexually used (not in a super fun way) for three years.

The first time I told him I loved him after 6 months of hoping he’d say it first, his response was (and I quote), “I think I love you too, f****t.”

...How is this "sexual assault?"  She let him do it.   It sounds like he's a fucking douchebag but that's it.

Seriously, are you dumb, insensitive, or just confused?

When a person stops resisting during rape, does that mean she's complicit?

She's not using the word "rape," but "assault," designating that was was happening was not a mutually desired act. "Starfishing" may be implying sodomy as well, which she may not have desired, but due to the emotionally abusive relationship, she submitted to it.

If you need an object lesson, come bend over in front of me for the next several months, and I will show you.

starfishing just means dead fish.

[Transhuman]

Chris Hardwick

Don't know who this guy is, but-

…Including let him sexually assault me. Regularly. I was expected to be ready for him when he came home from work.

How did this happen? At the beginning of our relationship, I was quite ill often due to my diet, something I’ll get to in a bit. One night he initiated, and I said, “I’m so sorry, can we not tonight? I’m feeling really sick.” He responded, “I just want to remind you, the reason my last relationship didn’t work out was because of the lack of sex.” It was a veiled threat. I succumbed.

Every night, I laid there for him, occasionally in tears. He called it “starfishing”. He thought the whole idea was funny. To be fair, I did go along with it out of fear of losing him. I’m still recovering from being sexually used (not in a super fun way) for three years.

The first time I told him I loved him after 6 months of hoping he’d say it first, his response was (and I quote), “I think I love you too, f****t.”

...How is this "sexual assault?"  She let him do it.   It sounds like he's a fucking douchebag but that's it.

Seriously, are you dumb, insensitive, or just confused?

When a person stops resisting during rape, does that mean she's complicit?

She's not using the word "rape," but "assault," designating that was was happening was not a mutually desired act. "Starfishing" may be implying sodomy as well, which she may not have desired, but due to the emotionally abusive relationship, she submitted to it.

If you need an object lesson, come bend over in front of me for the next several months, and I will show you.

That's the thing I mean, it's not like he started out all sweet and lured her into the relationship and then slowly broke her down. From her desciption he started out as a dick, was still a dick as they started dating, and when the relationship became more permanent, still a dick. No-one deserves to be treated the way she was treated if they don't want to be, but looking at it from Hardwick's perspective, if he truly is a self-obsessed person who doesn't know how to be in a normal give-and-take relationship, how was he supposed to know how miserable she felt? From her description he is not emotionally observant (or caring), so in his mind it started with her wanting a relationship with him despite his hangups, then as things got worse he thought "well maybe this is just a rough patch", then when she kissed someone else and told him she wanted to break it off, he had a moment of clarity, asked for another second chance, was told no.

Shit relationships happen. I'm really interested what his ex Janet Varney has to say about their previous 7 year relationship, because a) I love her and b) it could really shed some light on whether he has a history of emotional neglect.

(Varney voiced Korra and did an awesome podcast where she interviewed women about what their highschool experience was like growing up)

[kingv]

We already know Janet Varney is stingy with the pussy.

[Mandark]

That's the thing I mean, it's not like he started out all sweet and lured her into the relationship and then slowly broke her down. From her desciption he started out as a dick, was still a dick as they started dating, and when the relationship became more permanent, still a dick. No-one deserves to be treated the way she was treated if they don't want to be, but looking at it from Hardwick's perspective, if he truly is a self-obsessed person who doesn't know how to be in a normal give-and-take relationship, how was he supposed to know how miserable she felt? From her description he is not emotionally observant (or caring), so in his mind it started with her wanting a relationship with him despite his hangups, then as things got worse he thought "well maybe this is just a rough patch", then when she kissed someone else and told him she wanted to break it off, he had a moment of clarity, asked for another second chance, was told no.

Shit relationships happen. I'm really interested what his ex Janet Varney has to say about their previous 7 year relationship, because a) I love her and b) it could really shed some light on whether he has a history of emotional neglect.

(Varney voiced Korra and did an awesome podcast where she interviewed women about what their highschool experience was like growing up)

Yeah that's gonna be a no from me, dog.

[Transhuman]

Why is it a no from you though bro? What's your take

[Purrp Skirrp]

That's the thing I mean, it's not like he started out all sweet and lured her into the relationship and then slowly broke her down. From her desciption he started out as a dick, was still a dick as they started dating, and when the relationship became more permanent, still a dick. No-one deserves to be treated the way she was treated if they don't want to be, but looking at it from Hardwick's perspective, if he truly is a self-obsessed person who doesn't know how to be in a normal give-and-take relationship, how was he supposed to know how miserable she felt? From her description he is not emotionally observant (or caring), so in his mind it started with her wanting a relationship with him despite his hangups, then as things got worse he thought "well maybe this is just a rough patch", then when she kissed someone else and told him she wanted to break it off, he had a moment of clarity, asked for another second chance, was told no.

Shit relationships happen. I'm really interested what his ex Janet Varney has to say about their previous 7 year relationship, because a) I love her and b) it could really shed some light on whether he has a history of emotional neglect.

(Varney voiced Korra and did an awesome podcast where she interviewed women about what their highschool experience was like growing up)

Aren't you a virgin?

[Mandark]

What's described in the Medium post is textbook abusive behavior almost to the point of cliche. Constantly berating a partner for minor infractions, dictating "rules" to them, cutting off contact with friends, monitoring and restricting their movement, pushing for sex after hearing "no" even when it makes their partner cry, etc.

The idea that he was just bad at picking up on the signs she was unhappy, or the passive voice characterizing it as a "bad relationship" that "just happened" just aren't credible after reading her account. Hell, she says "he repeatedly shared with me that he was terrified I would talk publicly about how he treated me." You need to ignore so many of the details to pretend this was all a big accident.

Promising to change in order to keep her from leaving is also such a common behavior among abusers that it'd be funny to see it used to defend him, except that people take that sort of shit at face value all the time.

[bork]

Chris Hardwick

Don't know who this guy is, but-

…Including let him sexually assault me. Regularly. I was expected to be ready for him when he came home from work.

How did this happen? At the beginning of our relationship, I was quite ill often due to my diet, something I’ll get to in a bit. One night he initiated, and I said, “I’m so sorry, can we not tonight? I’m feeling really sick.” He responded, “I just want to remind you, the reason my last relationship didn’t work out was because of the lack of sex.” It was a veiled threat. I succumbed.

Every night, I laid there for him, occasionally in tears. He called it “starfishing”. He thought the whole idea was funny. To be fair, I did go along with it out of fear of losing him. I’m still recovering from being sexually used (not in a super fun way) for three years.

The first time I told him I loved him after 6 months of hoping he’d say it first, his response was (and I quote), “I think I love you too, f****t.”

...How is this "sexual assault?"  She let him do it.   It sounds like he's a fucking douchebag but that's it.

Seriously, are you dumb, insensitive, or just confused?

 

Nice, thanks, Chrono.

When a person stops resisting during rape, does that mean she's complicit?

She's not using the word "rape," but "assault," designating that was was happening was not a mutually desired act. "Starfishing" may be implying sodomy as well, which she may not have desired, but due to the emotionally abusive relationship, she submitted to it.

If you need an object lesson, come bend over in front of me for the next several months, and I will show you.

She said “I’m so sorry, can we not tonight? I’m feeling really sick.” He responded, “I just want to remind you, the reason my last relationship didn’t work out was because of the lack of sex.” It was a veiled threat. I succumbed.

He threatened to end their relationship if she didn't put out...so she consented- She said she was sexually used by him.  He's a piece of shit if this is all true, but rape is forced, is it not?  She was letting him do it because she didn't want the relationship to end.

("Starfishing" is "When an individual, who is too fatigued to engage in sexual activity themselves, lay spread out on the bed for their partner," apparently.)

I'm not defending whatshisname here if what she said about him is true, but I read it as more of her being in a really shitty, emotionally and verbally-abusive relationship that she stayed in for way too long.  He's a piece of shit for using her like that.

[Transhuman]

Aren't you a virgin?

Yeah but I watched all 3 seasons of Veronica Mars

Promising to change in order to keep her from leaving is also such a common behavior among abusers that it'd be funny to see it used to defend him, except that people take that sort of shit at face value all the time.

I mean yeah it's one of the oldest relationship cliches there is, not just among abusers.

[Mandark]

He threatened to end their relationship if she didn't put out...so she consented- She said she was sexually used by him.  He's a piece of shit if this is all true, but rape is forced, is it not?  She was letting him do it because she didn't want the relationship to end.

I'm not defending whatshisname here if what she said about him is true, but I read it as more of her being in a really shitty, emotionally and verbally-abusive relationship that she stayed in for way too long.  He's a piece of shit for using her like that.

This is why a lot of feminists have been getting behind the idea of "enthusiastic consent."

She said yes, but that yes was in response to a veiled threat, in the context of what you yourself recognize as an abusive relationship, and she was acquiescing to something so clearly traumatic to her that it made her cry.

We don't have a great consensus on the language for encounters like that, because it hasn't been treated as a serious problem before. So while calling it "assault" might have a flattening effect which equates it with legally defined rape, calling it "consensual" flattens it in the other direction, whitewashing the reality of what he did to her. At the very least we should be able to call it a violation.

There is the potential for a gray area and miscommunication with sexual consent, but after Louis CK (who always made sure he got a "yes") and Aziz Ansari, there were a lot of guys seizing on that gray area, or evidence of consent in a very technical sense, to completely exonerate those guys and justify aggressive, pressuring, and even threatening behavior all the way up to, but not quite including forcible rape. Maybe in a couple years we'll call this something else, but right now I'm not really bothered by the "assault" terminology.


edit: there were several really good pieces by women after the Aziz thing about how we conceptualize and talk about borderline cases and I'm kicking myself for not bookmarking any of them.

[Mandark]

.

[bork]

He threatened to end their relationship if she didn't put out...so she consented- She said she was sexually used by him.  He's a piece of shit if this is all true, but rape is forced, is it not?  She was letting him do it because she didn't want the relationship to end.

I'm not defending whatshisname here if what she said about him is true, but I read it as more of her being in a really shitty, emotionally and verbally-abusive relationship that she stayed in for way too long.  He's a piece of shit for using her like that.

This is why a lot of feminists have been getting behind the idea of "enthusiastic consent."

She said yes, but that yes was in response to a veiled threat, in the context of what you yourself recognize as an abusive relationship, and she was acquiescing to something so clearly traumatic to her that it made her cry.

We don't have a great consensus on the language for encounters like that, because it hasn't been treated as a serious problem before. So while calling it "assault" might have a flattening effect which equates it with legally defined rape, calling it "consensual" flattens it in the other direction, whitewashing the reality of what he did to her. At the very least we should be able to call it a violation.

There is the potential for a gray area and miscommunication with sexual consent, but after Louis CK (who always made sure he got a "yes") and Aziz Ansari, there were a lot of guys seizing on that gray area, or evidence of consent in a very technical sense, to completely exonerate those guys and justify aggressive, pressuring, and even threatening behavior all the way up to, but not quite including forcible rape. Maybe in a couple years we'll call this something else, but right now I'm not really bothered by the "assault" terminology.

Sure, makes sense to me and I agree with you.  Not exactly something I thought I was going to get called out on like that.   

[kingv]

“Sexual assault” has varying legal definitions it different states.

I wouldn’t call this sexual assault because I don’t think it would meet the legal definition in any of them (except maybe California).

Sure, he’s a piece of shit, and arguably he coerced or pressured her into sex. But she agreed to it and says as much herself.

You could definitely say he abused her, or even sexually abused her but I wouldn’t say he sexually assaulted her, because it probably would not be possible to charge him with that anywhere in the country.

I understand that definition of “enthusiastic consent” but think it’s not very workable. Theoretically both sides should be enthusiastic, but in reality, how are you going to have some sort of definition of “misconduct” where one person asks another to have sex, that person says yes and then later says “oh, I didn’t really want to do it, so it was an assault”. Because the idea that two people are having sex and one person is not that into it that day/night seems like a really common occurrence, even within a relatively normal relationship.

I think it also is asking people to be mind readers. I’m not sure how a person is expected to know what the other person is thinking. At some point you have to expect people to have agency, and outside of a physical threat, being really fucked up, or in an abusive situation, people have to take responsibility for being clear about their desires and what they are ok with and state those clearly.

It’s why I’d say that Aziz Ansari is kind of a douche bag, but he’s not a sexual predator. He pressed up until the point she said a firm no, and then backed off. If we settle on some kind of abuse standard that requires you to examine your feelings to determine if you were assaulted, or worse, anticipate the other persons emotional state to know if you have committed a crime, I just don’t think it is workable or a particularly useful definition.

[Mandark]

buddy, no

It’s why I’d say that Aziz Ansari is kind of a douche bag, but he’s not a sexual predator. He pressed up until the point she said a firm no, and then backed off.

This is a really dishonest summary of that piece (and whatever we think of the author or the site, Ansari never disputed the sequence of events laid out in the story).

If you feel you can't defend what these guys did without whitewashing it, that should maybe raise some flags.

[bork]

The definition of a sexual predator is "a person seen as obtaining or trying to obtain sexual contact with another person in a metaphorically "predatory" or abusive manner."  Aziz Ansari fits that description for sure- so does Chris Harwick based on that definition, so I see how my response looked pretty bad now.  Was not what I was implying. 

These guys are all scum anyway and nobody is arguing against that.

[kingv]

buddy, no

It’s why I’d say that Aziz Ansari is kind of a douche bag, but he’s not a sexual predator. He pressed up until the point she said a firm no, and then backed off.

This is a really dishonest summary of that piece (and whatever we think of the author or the site, Ansari never disputed the sequence of events laid out in the story).

If you feel you can't defend what these guys did without whitewashing it, that should maybe raise some flags.

Honestly, I believe my summary is pretty accurate if you read between the embellishment of how uncomfortable she looked and how bad he was for not noticing she was uncomfortable.

But from a different point of view she made out with him, then let him undress her, then wanted to slow down, then agreed to suck his dick, then wanted to slow down, but never explicitly said “no I don’t want to have sex with you” or “im not comfortable with this, I’m leaving.” She didn’t say she didn’t want to have sex, she said “Next time”.

I’m not saying Aziz Ansari is a smooth cool dude. But nothing he did was illegal, nor should it be.

[Mupepe]

I don't understand how people can say things along the lines of "yeah, clearly he's taking advantage of his partner's weaknesses for his own pleasure/benefit but he's not a predator" 

[Transhuman]

I don't understand how people can say things along the lines of "yeah, clearly he's taking advantage of his partner's weaknesses for his own pleasure/benefit but he's not a predator" 

It comes down to believing that despite his ridiculous expectations, he wasn't so controlling that she was incapable of making her own decisions. If she feared for her safety or he was physical that would be one thing, but by her own statement, he was a poor partner from day 0 and she stuck around because she wanted to until she didn't.

[Dickie Dee]

I don't understand how people can say things along the lines of "yeah, clearly he's taking advantage of his partner's weaknesses for his own pleasure/benefit but he's not a predator" 

It comes down to believing that despite his ridiculous expectations, he wasn't so controlling that she was incapable of making her own decisions. If she feared for her safety or he was physical that would be one thing, but by her own statement, he was a poor partner from day 0 and she stuck around because she wanted to until she didn't.

Can't believe this even needs saying but: abuse doesn't have to be physical.

[Transhuman]

Yeah i'm not saying that this isn't emotional abuse, or that emotional abuse doesn't happen. I just believe that it never passed a threshold to where she truly lacked agency. I imagine that is the only point where we differ.

[CatsCatsCats]

Her sticking around for it doesn’t make it not abuse, how don’t you get that?


Edit: whether or not she lacked agency isn’t really of issue in “is this shitty and abuse,” so ...

[Transhuman]

Her sticking around for it doesn’t make it not abuse, how don’t you get that?

By her own account she knew it was a toxic relationship going in, and she didn't stick around for it, she left, thus proving she was capable of deciding to leave the relationship and following through with that decision. And before you ask, i'm not saying it was easy because it was most likely very, very hard for her. C'mon guys don't put words in my mouth.

[Trent Dole]

Was it rape? Maybe not exactly. Was it amoral, gross, and is Chris human garbage along with anyone defending his predatory behavior? Hell yes.

[Transhuman]

That at least, I can unreservedly agree with.

[Kara]

I understand that definition of “enthusiastic consent” but think it’s not very workable. Theoretically both sides should be enthusiastic, but in reality, how are you going to have some sort of definition of “misconduct” where one person asks another to have sex, that person says yes and then later says “oh, I didn’t really want to do it, so it was an assault”. Because the idea that two people are having sex and one person is not that into it that day/night seems like a really common occurrence, even within a relatively normal relationship.

I think it also is asking people to be mind readers. I’m not sure how a person is expected to know what the other person is thinking. At some point you have to expect people to have agency, and outside of a physical threat, being really fucked up, or in an abusive situation, people have to take responsibility for being clear about their desires and what they are ok with and state those clearly.

You're making out with someone and want to take it further. You slide your hand down toward their sex organ area. You ask them, "Is this alright?" They say yes. Stuff happens. You want to take it further. You slide your hand down towards your pants button. You ask them, "Is this alright?" They say yes. You whip that shit out. They put their hand on it. "Is this alright?" they ask. You say yes. You pull out your phone, open the DoorDash app, search for Taco Bell, and show them the screen. "Is this alright?" you ask. They say, "Of course!"

[Mandark]

Honestly, I believe my summary is pretty accurate if you read between the embellishment of how uncomfortable she looked and how bad he was for not noticing she was uncomfortable.

But from a different point of view she made out with him, then let him undress her, then wanted to slow down, then agreed to suck his dick, then wanted to slow down, but never explicitly said “no I don’t want to have sex with you” or “im not comfortable with this, I’m leaving.” She didn’t say she didn’t want to have sex, she said “Next time”.

I’m not saying Aziz Ansari is a smooth cool dude. But nothing he did was illegal, nor should it be.

After he bent me over is when I stood up and said no, I don’t think I’m ready to do this, I really don’t think I’m going to do this.

Then AFTER she said that...

While the TV played in the background, he kissed her again, stuck his fingers down her throat again, and moved to undo her pants.

So no, I don't think this is about unreasonably demanding he be a "mind-reader."

[Madrun Badrun]

I don't understand how people can say things along the lines of "yeah, clearly he's taking advantage of his partner's weaknesses for his own pleasure/benefit but he's not a predator" 

I don't think its that, its the (implicit) comparison to all the other sexual misconduct stories that is making people go 'ya this is a bad thing but its not Cosby-level'. 

[Mandark]

I don't understand how people can say things along the lines of "yeah, clearly he's taking advantage of his partner's weaknesses for his own pleasure/benefit but he's not a predator" 

I don't think its that, its the (implicit) comparison to all the other sexual misconduct stories that is making people go 'ya this is a bad thing but its not Cosby-level'.

Except nobody's called for a criminal prosecution similar to Cosby's, and just in this thread you have at least two guys arguing that Chloe Dykstra should take the blame for his actions.

I get wanting to recognize the gradations, but I've seen way way way more dudes use "not as bad as Cosby/Weinstein" as a way to minimize things than I've seen people actually equate different types of incidents.

[Transhuman]

Except nobody's called for a criminal prosecution similar to Cosby's, and just in this thread you have at least two guys arguing that Chloe Dykstra should take the blame for his actions.

Which two?

I get wanting to recognize the gradations, but I've seen way way way more dudes use "not as bad as Cosby/Weinstein" as a way to minimize things than I've seen people actually equate different types of incidents.

I mean i've been pretty consistent that he was a massive dick, and their relationship was bad.

I mean in terms of pain, this is probably even worse than Cosby or Weinstein. But why conflate the two, Cosby and Weinstein were about guys who sustematically used their influence and reputation to leverage women into unwilling sex. Their victims had no idea what was about to happen, and had no ability to extricate themselves from their situations (being drugged/ extorted). Dykstra's situation, while also about sex in the entertainment industry, to me feels nothing alike.

[Mandark]

But why conflate the two

NOBODY IS

[Transhuman]

I mean in terms of pain, this is probably even worse than Cosby or Weinstein.

why even write this

Because it's true? Chloe was in emotional pain the three years of their relationship, plus the aftermath. I'm not minimising what happened to her as less valid or less traumatic, as I was accused of.

But why conflate the two

NOBODY IS

#metoo is literally all anyone is thinking about. You really think he would have been dead to the industry within 24hrs before #metoo started snowballing? In the layman's mind he is exactly like them.

[Mandark]

What point are you even trying to make?

[Transhuman]

#notallnarcissists

[kingv]

Honestly, I believe my summary is pretty accurate if you read between the embellishment of how uncomfortable she looked and how bad he was for not noticing she was uncomfortable.

But from a different point of view she made out with him, then let him undress her, then wanted to slow down, then agreed to suck his dick, then wanted to slow down, but never explicitly said “no I don’t want to have sex with you” or “im not comfortable with this, I’m leaving.” She didn’t say she didn’t want to have sex, she said “Next time”.

I’m not saying Aziz Ansari is a smooth cool dude. But nothing he did was illegal, nor should it be.

After he bent me over is when I stood up and said no, I don’t think I’m ready to do this, I really don’t think I’m going to do this.

Then AFTER she said that...

While the TV played in the background, he kissed her again, stuck his fingers down her throat again, and moved to undo her pants.

So no, I don't think this is about unreasonably demanding he be a "mind-reader."

What I’m saying is this. Aziz did nothing criminal. Equating his behavior with a Weinstein or calling him a sexual predator, or whatever just seems extra.

There are two sides to every story, by Aziz Ansaris own words he though it was consensual. From my reading of her story it was consensual, if boorish and gross. I’m not going to get morally indignant over some guy acting like an asshole on a date one time. This isn’t like Henry Weinstein where a slew of women came out a month later saying “oh yeah, Aziz is a serial date rapist”.

[Transhuman]

I mean yeah, blessings in disguise, people kept begging me to see Master of None, that stopped instantly once it was revealed Aziz Ansari likes asking girls if they want to fuck one too many times.

And i'd never even heard of Chris Hardwick, because in Australia you actually have be noteworthy to be talked about.

[Mandark]

What I’m saying is this. Aziz did nothing criminal. Equating his behavior with a Weinstein or calling him a sexual predator, or whatever just seems extra.

There are two sides to every story, by Aziz Ansaris own words he though it was consensual. From my reading of her story it was consensual, if boorish and gross. I’m not going to get morally indignant over some guy acting like an asshole on a date one time. This isn’t like Henry Weinstein where a slew of women came out a month later saying “oh yeah, Aziz is a serial date rapist”.

NOBODY IS EQUATING HIS BEHAVIOR WITH WEINSTEIN'S.

NOBODY IS CALLING FOR HIM TO BE ARRESTED.

You're bringing this stuff up, not other people, so you can minimize what he did. You're eliding big parts of her story, saying there are "two sides" when he didn't dispute a single thing from her account, using euphemisms like "boorish" to describe someone who tried to undo a woman's pants after she told him no, and when this story first came out you pretended not to understand the entire concept of nonverbal cues.

Ansari has suffered no consequences other than some public embarrassment. Why is it so important for you to defend what he did?

[Mandark]

I mean yeah, blessings in disguise, people kept begging me to see Master of None, that stopped instantly once it was revealed Aziz Ansari likes asking girls if they want to fuck one too many times.

Have you read the story? Cause this is almost literally the opposite of what he did wrong.

[Transhuman]

I mean yeah, blessings in disguise, people kept begging me to see Master of None, that stopped instantly once it was revealed Aziz Ansari likes asking girls if they want to fuck one too many times.

Have you read the story? Cause this is almost literally the opposite of what he did wrong.

You're right, "tried putting on the moves one too many times" is more accurate. It feels like forever ago the Aziz stuff happened.

[chronovore]

Sure, makes sense to me and I agree with you.  Not exactly something I thought I was going to get called out on like that.   

I apologize. I know you're not dumb. I do think both you and I are inherently ignorant to the way women experience the world. So I try very hard not to tell them that they're wrong or overreacting to a perceived threat or transgression. The way women experience the world is different to the way you and I experience it. This is part of our privilege, which doesn't mean we have to feel guilty or bad about what we have, but it does mean we need to be aware that not everyone has a shared frame of reference.

[Transhuman]

tvc is just going through a rough patch right now

[chronovore]

You know I quit my last forum when the members wouldn't put out.

[bork]

https://twitter.com/zaceubank/status/1007989703310639106

[nachobro]

Meanwhile

http://www.tmz.com/2018/06/19/chris-hardwick-chloe-dykstra-breakup-cheating-text-messages/

Hardwick more or less tells Dykstra his long text message will be the last time he talks to her and declares their relationship is over, and she then sends several texts begging to talk, saying, "I will always love you."

According to the text thread, Chloe reached out to Chris 7 months later in an apparent attempt to make up. Sources close to Chris say it's hard to believe Chloe would try for months to get back with him if she was being emotionally and sexually abused, as she claimed last week.

[team filler]

 

[Mandark]

Sources close to Chris say it's hard to believe Chloe would try for months to get back with him if she was being emotionally and sexually abused, as she claimed last week.

"Sources close to Chris"

[Mandark]

Also holy shit, that novel of self-pity he wrote her. Not a great look.

[Assimilate]

Women cheating and then claiming they were the victims.

Gotta love it indeed.

[TakingBackSunday]

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me

[Assimilate]

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me

What astonishes you?

[Transhuman]

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me

What astonishes you?

If you read what she wrote you'd know that she cheated after 3 years of emotional abuse. No-one is saying she's a saint. xxxtentacion's girlfriend cheated on him too.

[Assimilate]

If you read what she wrote you'd know that she cheated after 3 years of emotional abuse. No-one is saying she's a saint. xxxtentacion's girlfriend cheated on him too.

he's a douche and she's not calibrated correctly. it's an ugly relationship that she felt the need to air out because she believed he blacklisted her. i totally get it and this is why i'll never (already don't) text argue with a girlfriend again.

[Transhuman]

I mean the blacklisting has been corroborated by others so unless you think it's mass hysteria, yeah he interfered with her career.