Struggle Thread mk II - No one likes us, we don't care

[team filler]

I wouldn't have gave a shit about some bitch dad dying 

[team filler]

eschaton origin story keeps getting better 

[TVC15]

Just good old BDSM. If anything  I lost fetishes.  I had a terrible experience at one point where I fucked a girl I knew from college and in the middle of it she started doing daddy daughter  incest play on me. My boner died instantly because I remembered that she told me she saw her dad die in a tragic accident right next to her. Ruined hentai for me for years

Dude dude DUDE. I have a feeling there are more stories right here. This part feels juicy. I’ve done medicine therapy before, and this feels like one of those areas where the therapist would have me take a hero dose of mdma 45 minutes before talking about it. It’s going to be deep.

[TVC15]

I’m talking about the chick! You kept her around, right? She had to be really interesting. I already want to listen to This Mortal Coil with her.

[OnlyRegret]

My boner died instantly because I remembered that she told me she saw her dad die in a tragic accident right next to her. Ruined hentai for me for years

newsfeed

[Kara]

This thread has demonic bad vibes now.

[TEEEPO]

I’m talking about the chick! You kept her around, right? She had to be really interesting. I already want to listen to This Mortal Coil with her.

I first saw you.
You had on blue jeans.
Your eyes couldn't hide anything.
I saw you breathing
And I saw you staring out in space.
I next saw you, you was at a party.
Thought you was a queen, oh so flirty.
I came against.
Didn't say excuse.
You knew what I was doing,
We looked very fine 'cause we were leaving.
Like Saint Joan, doing a cool, cool jerk
Oh I want you, Oh I want you... like a kangaroo...

[shosta]

I'm too cowardly to like Esch's hentai post

[OnlyRegret]

This thread has demonic bad vibes now.

daemonic* 

[team filler]

she's just happy for you, bb

[TVC15]

I’m talking about the chick! You kept her around, right? She had to be really interesting. I already want to listen to This Mortal Coil with her.

Nope. We don't talk anymore and that's for the best. We just can't get along or trust each other. I thought she was interesting,  we had chemistry  etc but I think I was just idealizing her. I realized I found a lot of things about her really intolerable. She awkwardly likes every picture I post with my gf.

A lot of things? By my count being into necro-incest is only one character quirk. What else wasn’t up to your standards?

[TEEEPO]

it's a damn struggle trying not to shed tears while listening to this mortal coil atm. the first two records were there for me during some dark times but the most heart breaking part is gordon sharpe just refused to do anything with her talent outside of save the first few cindytalk records and obviously, this mortal coil, which is kinda shitty thing to say but fuck, dat voice. she should've been a star :'(

[team filler]

these toxic ass women can't hurt us no more, esch 

[TEEEPO]

i've been literally told by a girl who was trying to fuck me that "you're so hot but you're a terrorist" when i was sporting an awesome beard if i must say so myself. she was legit confused and unfortunately, crazy hot

[TEEEPO]

though dunking on white people 

[OnlyRegret]

I grew up awkward, parents who were very sheltering, and so I tragically can't offer much about the whites.
Some ethnic enclave corners around here and not a white to be spotted

[TVC15]

i've been literally told by a girl who was trying to fuck me that "you're so hot but you're a terrorist" when i was sporting an awesome beard if i must say so myself. she was legit confused and unfortunately, crazy hot

What a bitch. I would’ve been like “you’re so hot and you’re a terrorist”

[TEEEPO]

i've been literally told by a girl who was trying to fuck me that "you're so hot but you're a terrorist" when i was sporting an awesome beard if i must say so myself. she was legit confused and unfortunately, crazy hot

What a bitch. I would’ve been like “you’re so hot and you’re a terrorist”

you initially had me at this mortal coil but you had me again at terrorist 

I grew up awkward, parents who were very sheltering, and so I tragically can't offer much about the whites.
Some ethnic enclave corners around here and not a white to be spotted

Every brown bois parents are sheltering.  You're supposed to be like my big brother and pass out on the couch in a puddle of your own piss when your fearless white friends drop you home after 13 beers.

One small step for man.....

we'd need to start our own thread for how pathetically sheltered our lives were. unfortunately, some of us never fully recover

[OnlyRegret]

Unfortunately, I'm a real goody two-shoes for the most part.

[shosta]

I really related to Esch's travails and I feel like this is a bonafide archetype because I know so many people like this: brown/Asian guy gets stuck in a lily white conservative place and wants to get out. Gets involved with mostly white trash girls (turns out the haute bourgeois are generally more racist than their lower class counterparts). One hot and heavy romance because you're filling some other void in your life. In the end you figure out that white girls are wrong for you because they have a different lived experience and you end up dating your own race like your parents always told you to.

[TVC15]

Thanks for the candid stories, Esch!

[TEEEPO]

my parents were weird as fuck the second i turned 18. my dad threw a boxs of condoms at me and then found a stash of drugs in my room and told me to just be responsible and do this shit at home and not with my degenerate friends. before that, it was absolute hell. i couldn't leave the house and if i managed to hang out with my friends, they'd call my phone every 30 minutes to check in and make sure i wasn't doing any drugs and yea, white people would just say turn off your phone but had i done that, i'm not sure i'd be able to cycle today, let alone walk.

at least they had no idea what r-rated meant so i was able to watch all the good shit at a young age

[OnlyRegret]

For real though, it is tempting to complain about things but there are some real upsides.
Not just family, but extended family are quite fond of me so I have a literal grapevines of relatives. I can crash for free at the houses of relatives across the globe in at least 6 countries and they'd love to have me there.

I can't imagine being a white and not even knowing all your dads siblings and their families for example.

[OnlyRegret]

I really related to Esch's travails and I feel like this is a bonafide archetype because I know so many people like this: brown/Asian guy gets stuck in a lily white conservative place and wants to get out. Gets involved with mostly white trash girls (turns out the haute bourgeois are generally more racist than their lower class counterparts). One hot and heavy romance because you're filling some other void in your life. In the end you figure out that white girls are wrong for you because they have a different lived experience and you end up dating your own race like your parents always told you to.

Their ethnonationalism is unreal but funny 

[OnlyRegret]

Oh, there are bad apples in every bunch. With the number of relatives around there are bound to be people that rub you the wrong way, I definitely haven't gotten along with everyone.
But yeah, variable.

[TEEEPO]

For real though, it is tempting to complain about things but there are some real upsides.
Not just family, but extended family are quite fond of me so I have a literal grapevines of relatives. I can crash for free at the houses of relatives across the globe in at least 6 countries and they'd love to have me there.

I can't imagine being a white and not even knowing all your dads siblings and their families for example.

so tru. despite all the drama and bullshit, the love is very real

well at least the love on my dad's side of the family...

[OnlyRegret]

For real though, it is tempting to complain about things but there are some real upsides.
Not just family, but extended family are quite fond of me so I have a literal grapevines of relatives. I can crash for free at the houses of relatives across the globe in at least 6 countries and they'd love to have me there.

I can't imagine being a white and not even knowing all your dads siblings and their families for example.

so tru. despite all the drama and bullshit, the love is very real

well at least the love on my dad's side of the family...

When things are bad you can count on literal dozens of people you are related to tangentially to care and help even if you weren't exactly close and chummy.

[TEEEPO]

my grandma's funeral had some former shah four-star general give a long ass speech where i found out my grandma was potentially going to become one of the first democratically elected females in iran for the senate or someshit, let alone was one of the heads of the postal service which was already unheard for a female. i didn't know any of this since i was disowned at a young age for being my father's son, but it explains how fucking snobbish that entire side of my family is. fuck anyone who had photos of the shah in their homes, and just for prosperity, fuck the mullahs as well

[OnlyRegret]

To continue expanding on the flavours of brown present.
My family is Punjabi.

[Kara]

To provide a contrast to the surveillance parental state stories, when I was a teenager I got into a car crash that 100% was not my fault. I called my mom because I was obv. a bit shook up (it was a car crash) and she sighed very loudly and said, "I don't need this right now."

[BIONIC]

Wow, all this self-doxxing. Delicious 

I’d share some of my own brown family stories, but I’d rather still be able to run for office. You understand

[team filler]

my parents were weird as fuck the second i turned 18. my dad threw a boxs of condoms at me and then found a stash of drugs in my room and told me to just be responsible and do this shit at home and not with my degenerate friends. before that, it was absolute hell. i couldn't leave the house and if i managed to hang out with my friends, they'd call my phone every 30 minutes to check in and make sure i wasn't doing any drugs and yea, white people would just say turn off your phone but had i done that, i'm not sure i'd be able to cycle today, let alone walk.

at least they had no idea what r-rated meant so i was able to watch all the good shit at a young age

https://twitter.com/AshBCoffin/status/1219846534998765568

[BIONIC]

Ashleigh is my favorite fully authentic big breasted Scottish redhead

[OnlyRegret]

thread reverse-colonized

[Ghoul]

Sorry to break up the party, just need to vent, sooo after posting my shit last night I got fucking trashed took some drugs and now I’m fucking knackered, called work in sick and just feel like utter shit. Boy am I fucking spiralling at the moment. I think it’s time to go back to the doctors and have a chat with them. I dunno what the fuck is wrong with me but I sure as fuck am going down a super destructive path at the moment. Fiancé is pissed off with me because I took drugs, and I am pissed off with myself but I just can’t fucking help myself at the moment. Luckily in doing a lot of overtime work are okay with me ditching but yeah I need to get my shit together before it all implodes.

[Cerveza mas fina]

To provide a contrast to the surveillance parental state stories, when I was a teenager I got into a car crash that 100% was not my fault. I called my mom because I was obv. a bit shook up (it was a car crash) and she sighed very loudly and said, "I don't need this right now."

Your fam sounds afwul man im sorry

Despite that you turned out ok

[TVC15]

Take care of yourself, Ghoul. If you’re still feeling proactive about doing something about this in the morning, maybe you should call someone as soon as possible, while it’s still on your mind.

[Ghoul]

Cheers, it’s morning here already and I’ve booked an afternoon appointment, I think I just need to go and just get this sorted out. I can’t be fucking around like this I’m not a kid anymore, gotta just grow the fuck up and get this sorted so I can continue to live the decent life I have. That’s the worst part of this like generally other than work being hard and general feelings of not being truly valued in what I’m doing life is fine, I think generally not getting the job I interviewed for after going so far just has broken me a bit. There’s other stuff too with family, but I’d rather not get into that as I don’t feel it’s a good idea to post that online. I just want to shout and scream, I’ve never felt so angry in all my life and I don’t even know why I’m so fucking annoyed, it’s infuriating

[shosta]

Bless up

[VomKriege]

Wow, all this self-doxxing. Delicious 

I’d share some of my own brown family stories, but I’d rather still be able to run for office. You understand

(Image removed from quote.)

Mayor Pete looking more and more presidential by the day.

[nachobro]

To provide a contrast to the surveillance parental state stories, when I was a teenager I got into a car crash that 100% was not my fault. I called my mom because I was obv. a bit shook up (it was a car crash) and she sighed very loudly and said, "I don't need this right now."

this sounds a lot like my parents

[Ghoul]

Went to the doctors, they think I maybe bipolar which somewhat makes sense.
Well the fact that I’m happy but at the same time super angry and falling apart mentally.
No drugs yet, just been referred to a specialist more tests to come but I’m pleased!
Feels good to do something about my issues, despite me asking for help multiple times 
Usually what happens is I get some bullshit diagnosis
which ends in me having to take drugs that aren’t meant for me spent a couple years as
a zombie, sure I was medicated but inside i was still screaming as if my true self was just caged up.
thanks for the likes and words means a bunch, especially when 99% of the time I act like a prick

Mental health is such a shit place, it’s not a proper science, no real cure, you just have to deal with your issues.
Kinda wish it was as simple as take these pills for two months then you’re cured. But alas It’s not.

[Mr. Gundam]

Surgery set for March 20th. Fortunately I'm stable and the doctors don't see my mitral valve getting any worse between then and now. Gonna do some long weekend family trips and just generally try to enjoy life. Still doing 25 minutes on the elliptical five times a week and as active as I'm able to be.

Last time I saw my therapist we talked about worst case scenario planning (It's like a 1% chance) and now I'm mulling over letters to leave for my daughter and wife and it's wrecking me every time I think about what to say. Definitely not fun.

[Oblivion]

i thought i got rid of my rat problem, but it looks like they're back 

[chronovore]

Other struggles from that place:

- Finding out that stormfront was allowed in the mailspam filter with an explicit rule
- Getting told by an angry customer that they hope my first born child should die
- A forensics adventure involving bestiality and a sextape
- Getting told by an employee that they could watch grandma porn on their work host and there was nothing I could do about it
- Having a coworker show another co-worker pictures of him in bondage gear with the hopes of attracting him
- Coworker faking a work injury then testing positive for heroin and getting fired

I stopped posting on the bore during this period because I spent all my free time studying trying to get out. We made it

Can I ask you to please expand on this one here? Feel free to use Wikipedia for anatomical references so the important details are clear in your story.

I used to go to a professional meetup once a month and sometimes a senior analyst from my job i worked with closely would attend. He starts telling this story about how he had to pull a computer off the network and I realized over the course of his story that I had worked on this issue. A couple months before I had seen in a console that a computer had made contact with a server known to deploy hacker tools and that the PC belonged to an admin. Back then i usually just remediated most of this stuff myself but I escalated it because the box had admin credentials on it and I didn't want to take any chances. I remember seeing the senior analyst and one of my managers* chatting after i told him that the box was compromised, but whatever.

So at this meetup this guy starts talking about how the CISO made him take the box home to do basic digital forensics; take an image, look for attacker activity on the host. He's going through some of the folders on the PC looking for malware and he stumbles upon an innocuous looking folder in the music section and there it is. Amidst a bunch of stolen Semisonic and Staind records he finds gigabytes and gigabytes of what appears to be animal porn. He calls up the CISO and he's instructed to take hashes and watch the beginnings of the videos to make sure there's nothing strictly illegal there. While he's watching he finds every animal you can think of fucking a human or another animal. Horse porn, dog porn, cat porn, you fucking name it. It's all there. He looks in the deleted space and strangely enough my dude deleted gigabytes and gigabytes of donkey porn. That always killed me like, yeah you can beat your dick to a horse fucking a man or a man fucking a dog but not a man fucking a donkey specifically. Like he just tried out donkey fucking like it's a new sweater from Amazon and returned that. Anyway I digress. He gets to the end and it's him, the manager. He's sitting naked on his own bed in front of a video camera and he starts yelling for his wife** to come here. She says.... "No I can't, I've got poop on my butt". He closes the video.

I had to hold this story in for months and months as I studied to get out of there. Every day was an exercise to not laugh at him***. I know his little secret. He never knew that I did. He knew that the senior analyst did, but he never had an inkling.



==============================

* - This is the same manager who thought the internet had to warm up from the previous story
** - This manager's wife left him, and stayed in his house while he fucked other dudes. She was also disabled, like physically crippled. So this is also a giant dadold story.
*** - He was a rabid Trump supporter and would call us giant dadolds for holding mild liberal viewpoints.

This was a journey.

[BIONIC]

i thought i got rid of my rat problem, but it looks like they're back 

That’s no way to talk about your madre

[toku]

Ready to get a good 8-12 hrs sleep in this sunday. 5 AM panic and a couple hours later I'm putting my mom's cat to sleep. Got a couple puncutres in his tail somehow that wouldn't stop bleeding. Emergency Vet says it's weird that they won't stop bleeding and so much, work says he's anemic, got kidney disease and liver disease. One of which might actually be failing. 3 day vet stay with low chance of survival or just put him down. Moms a mess she couldn't even see him to put him down. I didn't want to either but I figured i owe him that much to rub his head as he went off. Cats apparently don't close their eyes when they go? I was pretty solid until I realized I had to be the one to go in and tell the doc to kill him. Had to take several moments. Staff was great. A lot of "I'm sorry." Saturday went so well this was one of those wtf is happening like last 12 hrs, completely unexpected. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

This actually played on the radio on the drive home and wanted to laugh but

[close]

[TVC15]

I’m sorry toku

[toku]

Thanks guys. Spent most of yesterday cleaning up blood and napping but I feel good. I got a nice goodbye and he didn't have to suffer.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

bless up

[close]

[Bebpo]

So sorry for your loss Toku

[Bebpo]

The day I got back from my last vacation in November, I opened my mail that had collected and there was a letter from my insurance denying my life-saving medication I'd been on for 10 years. That finally got resolved last Thursday and everything is fine again. But basically I got back from vacation and immediately was dealing with stress and anxiety and shit for 2 months. I stopped dating because I didn't know if I was gonna die or have to relocate to Canada depending on how it went with my health insurance.

Also fell behind on work because of all the hours I had to keep spending on the phone with insurance, pharmacies, various doctors and was always struggling to keep up. After things worked on Thu, I caught up pretty much on Thu night and Fri and a bit Sat. I started messaging people on dating sites again and setting up dates and had some good sleep again and life was getting back to normal.

Then this morning our 4th attorney at our job gave their 2 weeks notice. Now the background on this was that our firm grew A LOT in the last 2 years or so and we basically doubled or tripled the amount of cases we would get in each week. The 3 current attorneys including myself were working like 80 hour weeks and totally miserable until we hired another attorney and trained them and they took 1/4th of the cases. Then our hours got back to like normal 40-50 hour weeks generally.

So now all the cases this 4th attorney has will need to be split between the 3 of us remaining attorneys + we're still getting a ton of new cases in each week and one less attorney to take them and we need to start interviewing and hiring another attorney and training them for 1-2 months to get back to beginning speed to take on their own case load = now my life is going back to 80 hour weeks and no life for the next 2-3 months. Gonna be hard to date during this time.

I just want things to go back to normal 


Also as an aside, I kept stressing in the last year the need to hire a 2nd attorney as a backup in case this guy left because we'd be totally fucked if he left. But we had no office space and we're sloooowly remodeling the office to make another space to do that but it's not gonna be ready until at least this summer so yeah, it sucks. Once we replace this guy, we're absolutely hiring a 5th attorney once we get an office for them.

[shosta]

I stopped dating because I didn't know if I was gonna die or have to relocate to Canada

This is exactly what's wrong with American healthcare.

Sorry dude. Take care of yourself - maybe consider rejecting new clients if it gets that bad again? Your health and everyone else's health is more important.

[Bebpo]

I tried rejecting new clients a couple years ago when it got bad. Got outvoted every time. Everyone else just cares about growth and more money and deal with the problem of having the man power to do the work afterwards. I’m of the mind that I’d prefer less money and a life.

[nachobro]

late but i'm sorry toku. losing a pet friend is extra tough cause they have no idea what's going on. it's real hard but i'm glad you were there for them at the end.

[Ghoul]

Soo had my assessment and been given Xanax guess I should become a mumble soundcloud rapper.
Feeling good generally but eh I hate taking prescribed drugs I always feel they’re meant to just stop the screaming without actually dealing with what is making me scream.

[Madrun Badrun]

nuked my work pc's linux install trying to upgrade - god linux is trash.

[shosta]

Not having your work environment generated from some sort of script so you can re-create it easily 

you mean containerized right

[Ghoul]

God damn, Xanax really knock you on your ass had to take an annual leave day as I’m just sleepy as fuck.
I feel so calm and but i am in no way fit for work I just want to chill the fuck out weirdly feel fucking great though just so calm and at peace with everything. Life is just chill on these which is the first time I felt normal in a long fucking time. I get why these are addictive as fuck though

[Bebpo]

Sounds good and bad.

Yeah, that sucks it's hitting you so hard. What dosage? I had .25 and it did nothing, but they gave me like .10 or something of klonopin and was like you described. Felt so relaxed and good, probably some of the best high feelings of my life since I live with a lot of anxiety/stress, but the sleepyness and addiction worries kept me off it as a solution. Fwiw, I'm pretty sure you build up a tolerance pretty quick on Xanax so maybe after some time you'll be fine at work with it. Can you take a lower dose for now?

[Bebpo]

Had our first interview for replacement attorney today. Was ok, have like 3 lined up tomorrow and been getting about 15 resumes in a day.

Since Monday, already been working and leaving about 2 hours later than I normally do and that's just from adding in the cases that would've gone to the leaving guy last week and this week. Next week is when we'll need to transition his 40ish cases to us and that'll be bad. I normally spend about 90 mins hours exercising/showering after work, so if I cut that out I'd still be on a normal timeframe, but I figure with this extra work probably need the exercise to stay healthy more than ever, so finishing up and eating dinner around 9pm this week instead of 7pm. Hard to get to sleep for a while though after that -_-

We ran the case #s since it's the end of January and

January 2018 - 9 new cases came in for the month for 3 attorneys
January 2019 - 36 new cases came in the month for 3 attorneys, but we hired the new guy right after and he started around Feb and by March he was at full capacity as the 4th attorney.
January 2019 - 56 new cases came in for the month (and still 1 day left so more could come in) and 3 attorneys

We would've been hiring a 5th attorney anyhow about now because of the increase and our ads we have out are for 2 attorneys, one 0-4 year experience and one 7 years+ experience we're hoping can handle more of the heavy weight court stuff. Hopefully if we can find 2 people by the end of next week and they can start the week after (which is when current guy is gone) and their quick and we can train them in about 2 weeks to handle a case from start to finish, then it should only be about a month of hell or videogame like crunch and then if we have 2 more people running at full speed in a 1-1.5 months it should actually make life slightly easier than it was last year. But yeah, gonna be rough for a bit.