Struggle Thread mk II - No one likes us, we don't care

[OnlyRegret]

thread reverse-colonized

[Ghoul]

Sorry to break up the party, just need to vent, sooo after posting my shit last night I got fucking trashed took some drugs and now I’m fucking knackered, called work in sick and just feel like utter shit. Boy am I fucking spiralling at the moment. I think it’s time to go back to the doctors and have a chat with them. I dunno what the fuck is wrong with me but I sure as fuck am going down a super destructive path at the moment. Fiancé is pissed off with me because I took drugs, and I am pissed off with myself but I just can’t fucking help myself at the moment. Luckily in doing a lot of overtime work are okay with me ditching but yeah I need to get my shit together before it all implodes.

[Cerveza mas fina]

To provide a contrast to the surveillance parental state stories, when I was a teenager I got into a car crash that 100% was not my fault. I called my mom because I was obv. a bit shook up (it was a car crash) and she sighed very loudly and said, "I don't need this right now."

Your fam sounds afwul man im sorry

Despite that you turned out ok

[TVC15]

Take care of yourself, Ghoul. If you’re still feeling proactive about doing something about this in the morning, maybe you should call someone as soon as possible, while it’s still on your mind.

[Ghoul]

Cheers, it’s morning here already and I’ve booked an afternoon appointment, I think I just need to go and just get this sorted out. I can’t be fucking around like this I’m not a kid anymore, gotta just grow the fuck up and get this sorted so I can continue to live the decent life I have. That’s the worst part of this like generally other than work being hard and general feelings of not being truly valued in what I’m doing life is fine, I think generally not getting the job I interviewed for after going so far just has broken me a bit. There’s other stuff too with family, but I’d rather not get into that as I don’t feel it’s a good idea to post that online. I just want to shout and scream, I’ve never felt so angry in all my life and I don’t even know why I’m so fucking annoyed, it’s infuriating

[VomKriege]

Wow, all this self-doxxing. Delicious 

I’d share some of my own brown family stories, but I’d rather still be able to run for office. You understand

(Image removed from quote.)

Mayor Pete looking more and more presidential by the day.

[nachobro]

To provide a contrast to the surveillance parental state stories, when I was a teenager I got into a car crash that 100% was not my fault. I called my mom because I was obv. a bit shook up (it was a car crash) and she sighed very loudly and said, "I don't need this right now."

this sounds a lot like my parents

[Ghoul]

Went to the doctors, they think I maybe bipolar which somewhat makes sense.
Well the fact that I’m happy but at the same time super angry and falling apart mentally.
No drugs yet, just been referred to a specialist more tests to come but I’m pleased!
Feels good to do something about my issues, despite me asking for help multiple times 
Usually what happens is I get some bullshit diagnosis
which ends in me having to take drugs that aren’t meant for me spent a couple years as
a zombie, sure I was medicated but inside i was still screaming as if my true self was just caged up.
thanks for the likes and words means a bunch, especially when 99% of the time I act like a prick

Mental health is such a shit place, it’s not a proper science, no real cure, you just have to deal with your issues.
Kinda wish it was as simple as take these pills for two months then you’re cured. But alas It’s not.

[Mr. Gundam]

Surgery set for March 20th. Fortunately I'm stable and the doctors don't see my mitral valve getting any worse between then and now. Gonna do some long weekend family trips and just generally try to enjoy life. Still doing 25 minutes on the elliptical five times a week and as active as I'm able to be.

Last time I saw my therapist we talked about worst case scenario planning (It's like a 1% chance) and now I'm mulling over letters to leave for my daughter and wife and it's wrecking me every time I think about what to say. Definitely not fun.

[Oblivion]

i thought i got rid of my rat problem, but it looks like they're back 

[chronovore]

Other struggles from that place:

- Finding out that stormfront was allowed in the mailspam filter with an explicit rule
- Getting told by an angry customer that they hope my first born child should die
- A forensics adventure involving bestiality and a sextape
- Getting told by an employee that they could watch grandma porn on their work host and there was nothing I could do about it
- Having a coworker show another co-worker pictures of him in bondage gear with the hopes of attracting him
- Coworker faking a work injury then testing positive for heroin and getting fired

I stopped posting on the bore during this period because I spent all my free time studying trying to get out. We made it

Can I ask you to please expand on this one here? Feel free to use Wikipedia for anatomical references so the important details are clear in your story.

I used to go to a professional meetup once a month and sometimes a senior analyst from my job i worked with closely would attend. He starts telling this story about how he had to pull a computer off the network and I realized over the course of his story that I had worked on this issue. A couple months before I had seen in a console that a computer had made contact with a server known to deploy hacker tools and that the PC belonged to an admin. Back then i usually just remediated most of this stuff myself but I escalated it because the box had admin credentials on it and I didn't want to take any chances. I remember seeing the senior analyst and one of my managers* chatting after i told him that the box was compromised, but whatever.

So at this meetup this guy starts talking about how the CISO made him take the box home to do basic digital forensics; take an image, look for attacker activity on the host. He's going through some of the folders on the PC looking for malware and he stumbles upon an innocuous looking folder in the music section and there it is. Amidst a bunch of stolen Semisonic and Staind records he finds gigabytes and gigabytes of what appears to be animal porn. He calls up the CISO and he's instructed to take hashes and watch the beginnings of the videos to make sure there's nothing strictly illegal there. While he's watching he finds every animal you can think of fucking a human or another animal. Horse porn, dog porn, cat porn, you fucking name it. It's all there. He looks in the deleted space and strangely enough my dude deleted gigabytes and gigabytes of donkey porn. That always killed me like, yeah you can beat your dick to a horse fucking a man or a man fucking a dog but not a man fucking a donkey specifically. Like he just tried out donkey fucking like it's a new sweater from Amazon and returned that. Anyway I digress. He gets to the end and it's him, the manager. He's sitting naked on his own bed in front of a video camera and he starts yelling for his wife** to come here. She says.... "No I can't, I've got poop on my butt". He closes the video.

I had to hold this story in for months and months as I studied to get out of there. Every day was an exercise to not laugh at him***. I know his little secret. He never knew that I did. He knew that the senior analyst did, but he never had an inkling.



==============================

* - This is the same manager who thought the internet had to warm up from the previous story
** - This manager's wife left him, and stayed in his house while he fucked other dudes. She was also disabled, like physically crippled. So this is also a giant dadold story.
*** - He was a rabid Trump supporter and would call us giant dadolds for holding mild liberal viewpoints.

This was a journey.

[BIONIC]

i thought i got rid of my rat problem, but it looks like they're back 

That’s no way to talk about your madre

[toku]

Ready to get a good 8-12 hrs sleep in this sunday. 5 AM panic and a couple hours later I'm putting my mom's cat to sleep. Got a couple puncutres in his tail somehow that wouldn't stop bleeding. Emergency Vet says it's weird that they won't stop bleeding and so much, work says he's anemic, got kidney disease and liver disease. One of which might actually be failing. 3 day vet stay with low chance of survival or just put him down. Moms a mess she couldn't even see him to put him down. I didn't want to either but I figured i owe him that much to rub his head as he went off. Cats apparently don't close their eyes when they go? I was pretty solid until I realized I had to be the one to go in and tell the doc to kill him. Had to take several moments. Staff was great. A lot of "I'm sorry." Saturday went so well this was one of those wtf is happening like last 12 hrs, completely unexpected. 

spoiler (click to show/hide)

This actually played on the radio on the drive home and wanted to laugh but

[close]

[TVC15]

I’m sorry toku

[toku]

Thanks guys. Spent most of yesterday cleaning up blood and napping but I feel good. I got a nice goodbye and he didn't have to suffer.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

bless up

[close]

[Bebpo]

So sorry for your loss Toku

[Bebpo]

The day I got back from my last vacation in November, I opened my mail that had collected and there was a letter from my insurance denying my life-saving medication I'd been on for 10 years. That finally got resolved last Thursday and everything is fine again. But basically I got back from vacation and immediately was dealing with stress and anxiety and shit for 2 months. I stopped dating because I didn't know if I was gonna die or have to relocate to Canada depending on how it went with my health insurance.

Also fell behind on work because of all the hours I had to keep spending on the phone with insurance, pharmacies, various doctors and was always struggling to keep up. After things worked on Thu, I caught up pretty much on Thu night and Fri and a bit Sat. I started messaging people on dating sites again and setting up dates and had some good sleep again and life was getting back to normal.

Then this morning our 4th attorney at our job gave their 2 weeks notice. Now the background on this was that our firm grew A LOT in the last 2 years or so and we basically doubled or tripled the amount of cases we would get in each week. The 3 current attorneys including myself were working like 80 hour weeks and totally miserable until we hired another attorney and trained them and they took 1/4th of the cases. Then our hours got back to like normal 40-50 hour weeks generally.

So now all the cases this 4th attorney has will need to be split between the 3 of us remaining attorneys + we're still getting a ton of new cases in each week and one less attorney to take them and we need to start interviewing and hiring another attorney and training them for 1-2 months to get back to beginning speed to take on their own case load = now my life is going back to 80 hour weeks and no life for the next 2-3 months. Gonna be hard to date during this time.

I just want things to go back to normal 


Also as an aside, I kept stressing in the last year the need to hire a 2nd attorney as a backup in case this guy left because we'd be totally fucked if he left. But we had no office space and we're sloooowly remodeling the office to make another space to do that but it's not gonna be ready until at least this summer so yeah, it sucks. Once we replace this guy, we're absolutely hiring a 5th attorney once we get an office for them.

[Bebpo]

I tried rejecting new clients a couple years ago when it got bad. Got outvoted every time. Everyone else just cares about growth and more money and deal with the problem of having the man power to do the work afterwards. I’m of the mind that I’d prefer less money and a life.

[nachobro]

late but i'm sorry toku. losing a pet friend is extra tough cause they have no idea what's going on. it's real hard but i'm glad you were there for them at the end.

[Ghoul]

Soo had my assessment and been given Xanax guess I should become a mumble soundcloud rapper.
Feeling good generally but eh I hate taking prescribed drugs I always feel they’re meant to just stop the screaming without actually dealing with what is making me scream.

[Madrun Badrun]

nuked my work pc's linux install trying to upgrade - god linux is trash.

[Ghoul]

God damn, Xanax really knock you on your ass had to take an annual leave day as I’m just sleepy as fuck.
I feel so calm and but i am in no way fit for work I just want to chill the fuck out weirdly feel fucking great though just so calm and at peace with everything. Life is just chill on these which is the first time I felt normal in a long fucking time. I get why these are addictive as fuck though

[Bebpo]

Sounds good and bad.

Yeah, that sucks it's hitting you so hard. What dosage? I had .25 and it did nothing, but they gave me like .10 or something of klonopin and was like you described. Felt so relaxed and good, probably some of the best high feelings of my life since I live with a lot of anxiety/stress, but the sleepyness and addiction worries kept me off it as a solution. Fwiw, I'm pretty sure you build up a tolerance pretty quick on Xanax so maybe after some time you'll be fine at work with it. Can you take a lower dose for now?

[Bebpo]

Had our first interview for replacement attorney today. Was ok, have like 3 lined up tomorrow and been getting about 15 resumes in a day.

Since Monday, already been working and leaving about 2 hours later than I normally do and that's just from adding in the cases that would've gone to the leaving guy last week and this week. Next week is when we'll need to transition his 40ish cases to us and that'll be bad. I normally spend about 90 mins hours exercising/showering after work, so if I cut that out I'd still be on a normal timeframe, but I figure with this extra work probably need the exercise to stay healthy more than ever, so finishing up and eating dinner around 9pm this week instead of 7pm. Hard to get to sleep for a while though after that -_-

We ran the case #s since it's the end of January and

January 2018 - 9 new cases came in for the month for 3 attorneys
January 2019 - 36 new cases came in the month for 3 attorneys, but we hired the new guy right after and he started around Feb and by March he was at full capacity as the 4th attorney.
January 2019 - 56 new cases came in for the month (and still 1 day left so more could come in) and 3 attorneys

We would've been hiring a 5th attorney anyhow about now because of the increase and our ads we have out are for 2 attorneys, one 0-4 year experience and one 7 years+ experience we're hoping can handle more of the heavy weight court stuff. Hopefully if we can find 2 people by the end of next week and they can start the week after (which is when current guy is gone) and their quick and we can train them in about 2 weeks to handle a case from start to finish, then it should only be about a month of hell or videogame like crunch and then if we have 2 more people running at full speed in a 1-1.5 months it should actually make life slightly easier than it was last year. But yeah, gonna be rough for a bit.

[Huff]

Are they still spitting out more lawyers than jobs? Seems like the ideal scenario for yal to hire people

[BisMarckie]

Bebpo, as a fellow lawyer: Have you ever thought about getting out of this rat race and changing career paths?
I quit after constantly working 60 hour weeks, barely sleeping and being close to a mental breakdown. I make less than half the money now, but I have never been happier teaching at a university.

[Bebpo]

Bebpo, as a fellow lawyer: Have you ever thought about getting out of this rat race and changing career paths?
I quit after constantly working 60 hour weeks, barely sleeping and being close to a mental breakdown. I make less than half the money now, but I have never been happier teaching at a university.

How'd you get started looking for teaching jobs? Yeah I'd definitely like to move fields someday and teaching always seemed like a good idea.

[BisMarckie]

How'd you get started looking for teaching jobs? Yeah I'd definitely like to move fields someday and teaching always seemed like a good idea.

I knew several people in the university from when I did my PhD,  having a PhD (or Dr. iur. as it's called here) is a requirement here. The pay level is not great compared to most jobs, so if you have some good credentials(i.e. a specialization in fields that get taught at the university level) it's not that hard to get in, since most people are more interested in making money. I valued having a regular 9-5 job more

I don't know about the requirements for teaching in the US or a way to get in, sorry. But, if you don't necessarily want to teach at an university, there are tutoring companies that prepare students for our equivalent of the BAR exam, so maybe that sort of thing exists in the US as well?

[bluemax]

Bebpo, as a fellow lawyer: Have you ever thought about getting out of this rat race and changing career paths?
I quit after constantly working 60 hour weeks, barely sleeping and being close to a mental breakdown. I make less than half the money now, but I have never been happier teaching at a university.

It's kinda wild to me that two of the four hosts on this college football podcast I listen to went from being Lawyers to talking about college football for money.

[Bebpo]

Yeah, being a lawyer sucks and I'd never recommend it to people. People ask me what I do and I'm like oh I'm a lawyer and then move on to another subject because I don't enjoy talking about work. At best it's an ok 9-5 that pays the bills and lets me do fun stuff when I'm not at work.

To be fair I thought being a videogame reviewer also sucked and would never recommend it to people \o/


I did like teaching English to kids in Japan. Probably most satisfying job I've had. Translating/fansubbing anime/manga was pretty cool too as long as you only do specific things you love and want to share with the world. As for what Bismarkie said, I don't have the drive to go get a PhD. Best I think I can do is teach at a law school but I don't know people because I used to be extremely shy and anti-social and didn't really talk with anyone when I was at law school. So don't really have any ins. I'd basically just have to get by on my background of some teaching in Japan and years being a lawyer and not fucking up and general current charm 


I also have the weird issue of my office being family, so it definitely makes it weird in terms of leaving.

[Ghoul]

Sounds good and bad.

Yeah, that sucks it's hitting you so hard. What dosage? I had .25 and it did nothing, but they gave me like .10 or something of klonopin and was like you described. Felt so relaxed and good, probably some of the best high feelings of my life since I live with a lot of anxiety/stress, but the sleepyness and addiction worries kept me off it as a solution. Fwiw, I'm pretty sure you build up a tolerance pretty quick on Xanax so maybe after some time you'll be fine at work with it. Can you take a lower dose for now?

1mg so yeah pretty strong, it sucks as I was meant to go to a friends birthday last night but I was just so muted and just in my own head, decided not to go, no one wants a medicated zombie at a party, finally I can say “I must be fun at parties “ cool, least I’m not in my own head tearing myself apart anymore which feel actually pretty fucking cool.

Yeah fuck working for family, it’s the worst way to be trapped IMO, you can just say FUUUUCK OOOOOFFFFF
as that’ll then make later family events awkward as you left the firm, feels bad for you. Today I had to drag myself into work which was an experience, whole building had a power down so had to go in and insure all the servers etc came back up, which they did but in general working on a Sunday for a lieu day instead of time and a half sucks. Least I get my bonus at the end of the month, but that is adding to my anxiety as if they fuck me over I’ll literally be throwing my notice in as I haven’t got time to be fucked around

[Bebpo]

Uh, can you split the pill and try .5? 1 is a lot for sure.


And yeah family...had the latest headbutting today with family because now that I got my car situation squared out, I got back to browsing around for housing. I found some idea stuff, nothing serious, about 25-45 min (depending on traffic) drive away from me & our office (I live like down the street from our office now) and got pretty heavy push back from certain family members who pretty heavily think I should only look to buy a place in the current city I live in (even though it's more expensive, and I can get a better place for my money with a small drive) because my health issues with my crohn's where once in a while I run home and work from home because of stomach/intestinal issues.

Like I agree that ideally living locally is great, but when looking for house it's pretty limiting to not be able to go more than like 10 miles in radius when there's tons of houses everywhere. I feel like I could make it work even from a bit of a distance, especially because I do a lot of work remotely from home but I got a lot of pushback and it was really stressful. Like I'm 38 and a grown adult and don't want to feel like I have to kertow to my parent's wishes and a house where I could spend the next 10-20 years of my life and get married and have a family in is a major investment/major life thing with taking on the mortgage and all that, so I feel like it's something I want to decide myself but yeah. Plus I don't even if I'll still be at this office here for 10-20 years.

Eh, working with family has a lot of benefits, but there's definitely some difficulties and head butting and feeling trapped because of it.

[TVC15]

Fuck life. I feel so pathetic. I hate this.

I think I whiplash so much because of how much I bottle stuff up but I don’t have anyway to get it out. These past few months it’s getting really intense. I think it gets worse because I don’t sleep many nights. I’m really starting to worry about how bad it’s going to get because it seemed to drop off the continental shelf last year.

[Joe Molotov]

Fuck life. I feel so pathetic. I hate this.

Take a long bathroom break and watch Strip Nude for Your Killer on iTunes in the toilet. Bless up.

[Rufus]

I'm going to take a break, brehs. Been feeling miserable lately.

[bork]

To be fair I thought being a videogame reviewer also sucked and would never recommend it to people \o/

I enjoyed doing this for no money on my own back in high school and college.  Then I did the same thing for Gamebrink (lol) and it sucked because the guy would bother me for reviews the day a game would release.  Was glad when he stopped paying me so I could leave.

You mentioned the family aspect of work, but wouldn't they want you to be happy more than anything?  If you think another career path would be better...go for it.   

[VomKriege]

I'm going to take a break, brehs. Been feeling miserable lately.

Bless up and best of rest.

[TVC15]

Well looks like I’m going into day 4. At least it’s a work at home day.

[bluemax]

Yeah, being a lawyer sucks and I'd never recommend it to people. People ask me what I do and I'm like oh I'm a lawyer and then move on to another subject because I don't enjoy talking about work. At best it's an ok 9-5 that pays the bills and lets me do fun stuff when I'm not at work.

To be fair I thought being a videogame reviewer also sucked and would never recommend it to people \o/


I did like teaching English to kids in Japan. Probably most satisfying job I've had. Translating/fansubbing anime/manga was pretty cool too as long as you only do specific things you love and want to share with the world. As for what Bismarkie said, I don't have the drive to go get a PhD. Best I think I can do is teach at a law school but I don't know people because I used to be extremely shy and anti-social and didn't really talk with anyone when I was at law school. So don't really have any ins. I'd basically just have to get by on my background of some teaching in Japan and years being a lawyer and not fucking up and general current charm 


I also have the weird issue of my office being family, so it definitely makes it weird in terms of leaving.

The girl I was dating is a corporate tax lawyer and she said she did it so she could have money to do what she wanted with life but not out of love for the subject. One of the reasons we hit it off so well initially was how much lawyer life is like game dev life.

[Bebpo]

So interviews are going ok, done about 10+ but no one's been great so far. Had one really good candidate until we discovered she lied on her resume in a really easy to tell lie  (said she was an attorney years prior to actually passing the bar exam, which combined with her talking about trial experience yet not mentioning anything about trials on her resume and combined with her wanting to start at the highest amount of our hiring range all added up to seem like she was a grifter), some ok people.

And my brother has been frequenting the inside of LAX recently and came down sick today (probably coronavirus and we're all gonna die RIP) so we're down from 4 to 2 attorneys and I'm doing 3 interviews a day lol

But today I got done transitioning all the cases from the leaving attorney and it's not bad. I can definitely handle it without going crazy, especially with some help. Which is a little lightening of stress. Monday was reallllly bad because we had to do billing review at the start of a new month which takes about 3-4 hours of going through all the bills before they went out. Doing that + interviews + work I didn't sleep much Monday night. Left at a more reasonable time Tuesday and like immediately crashed to sleep and slept 10 hours and felt pretty refreshed and ok today which probably helps too.

Basically just been getting up -> work -> exercise -> eat something -> RDR2 for 1-2 hours -> bed routine everyone night and will stick to that until we got this under control. It's not terrible and I'm certainly making slow progress in RDR2 this way, but been declining all social/friend stuff during the weekdays and keeping my weekends open for the next month or two so I have some recovery time. Last weekend I had stuff packed Sat/Sun so I went from one intense work week right into the next without any rest days and that made Monday extra challenging.

[Ghoul]

So interviews are going ok, done about 10+ but no one's been great so far. Had one really good candidate until we discovered she lied on her resume in a really easy to tell lie  (said she was an attorney years prior to actually passing the bar exam, which combined with her talking about trial experience yet not mentioning anything about trials on her resume and combined with her wanting to start at the highest amount of our hiring range all added up to seem like she was a grifter), some ok people.

And my brother has been frequenting the inside of LAX recently and came down sick today (probably coronavirus and we're all gonna die RIP) so we're down from 4 to 2 attorneys and I'm doing 3 interviews a day lol

But today I got done transitioning all the cases from the leaving attorney and it's not bad. I can definitely handle it without going crazy, especially with some help. Which is a little lightening of stress. Monday was reallllly bad because we had to do billing review at the start of a new month which takes about 3-4 hours of going through all the bills before they went out. Doing that + interviews + work I didn't sleep much Monday night. Left at a more reasonable time Tuesday and like immediately crashed to sleep and slept 10 hours and felt pretty refreshed and ok today which probably helps too.

Basically just been getting up -> work -> exercise -> eat something -> RDR2 for 1-2 hours -> bed routine everyone night and will stick to that until we got this under control. It's not terrible and I'm certainly making slow progress in RDR2 this way, but been declining all social/friend stuff during the weekdays and keeping my weekends open for the next month or two so I have some recovery time. Last weekend I had stuff packed Sat/Sun so I went from one intense work week right into the next without any rest days and that made Monday extra challenging.

Sounds like hell on earth man, hang in there, hope things settle soon, sucks interviewing people and just being like "listen you said X on resume, but in the office you're saying Y, get out stop wasting time"

As for me, I've gone back to the doctors and been like these pills are far too much, as firstly the fiance thought I was on non prescribed meds with how fucked I was and generally I'm nonfunctional on them.
Mentally I am just dancing the dance, trying to not fuck around with alcohol or other depressive things and just taking the good doggo for long ass walks and sitting in bar gardens drinking soda's etc.
Just gotta get it all to click, but we shall see. Also the therapist I talked to may I suspect may have been under qualified as from the notes from doctor back vs how I am something isn't adding up.

I think I'm just gonna go private on this matter I have good insurance and fuck it I pay for it, why not use it when I need it, insurance is weird like that, you pay for it, but then when you go to claim you're like ohh shit can't do that because premiums etc, WTF is that about, anyway, rambling over. Birthday very soon, sure that's gonna be a hoot as my OTT mother came over and just went ballistic at me for taking medication.

sorry for the wasting of your time

[Bebpo]

Lol, I got sick

Had a miserable night last night, couldn’t sleep much with dry coughing and tearing up my throat, lungs and fever chills. Luckily my general doc down the street is fitting me in now. I think if he gives me some of that perscription cough syrup like the Wild West days with cocaine equivalent I’ll stop coughing and be able to sleep and heal up my lungs & throat.

But yeah timing for this is terrible of course.

[Ghoul]

Lol, I got sick

Had a miserable night last night, couldn’t sleep much with dry coughing and tearing up my throat, lungs and fever chills. Luckily my general doc down the street is fitting me in now. I think if he gives me some of that perscription cough syrup like the Wild West days with cocaine equivalent I’ll stop coughing and be able to sleep and heal up my lungs & throat.

But yeah timing for this is terrible of course.

Let's just survive and fight to live another day, a day when we can make other peoples lives more miserable than need be.

[Bebpo]

Got the codeine coughing syrup prescription, also doc gave me a z-pack just in case but I don't have any bacteria/viral infection that doc could see, just cough and high fever. Was pretty dizzy and almost fainted dropping the prescription off. Not looking forward to going back out to get it but after that should be able to just rest in bed drinking water and drugs all day.

[Ghoul]

Got the codeine coughing syrup prescription, also doc gave me a z-pack just in case but I don't have any bacteria/viral infection that doc could see, just cough and high fever. Was pretty dizzy and almost fainted dropping the prescription off. Not looking forward to going back out to get it but after that should be able to just rest in bed drinking water and drugs all day.

I hear cough syrup and sprite is a good way of taking it 

[Ghoul]

Short update so buying a house, getting rid of renting got a cool as fuck shibe and I’m cooking some sweet ass Korean BBQ style salmon for my fiancé, like why the fuck am I so depressed, I mean end of the day I’m doing super well in life but at the same time I have this duality or wanting to destroy it all. Fucking lame. Also fuck Xanax as that shit is just legal heroin and noping out of that after a week is probably what is making me feel like shit.

Life is weird just glad I have some fellow people I can shoot the shit with globally and be like cool it’s not just you
Thanks filler likes MVP!

[team filler]

Short update so buying a house, getting rid of renting got a cool as fuck shibe and I’m cooking some sweet ass Korean BBQ style salmon for my fiancé, like why the fuck am I so depressed, I mean end of the day I’m doing super well in life but at the same time I have this duality or wanting to destroy it all. Fucking lame. Also fuck Xanax as that shit is just legal heroin and noping out of that after a week is probably what is making me feel like shit.

Life is weird just glad I have some fellow people I can shoot the shit with globally and be like cool it’s not just you
Thanks filler likes MVP!

[Ghoul]

Oxy is literally legal heroin, Xanax is an incredibly different and much lamer high.

I understand it’s medical use but can’t fathom why it’s so popular recreationally for anyone not suffering from anxiety.

It was prescribed that’s the worst part of it.

Also as someone who was on 1mg a day I can say it’s to make you a zombie non problem whilst they figure out what the fuck to do with you. To do that for “fun” nah, not for me I kinda like you know living.

[Ghoul]

today, still feel like death, but I'm not dead and don't feel such dread over me today. Got a seat on the train and got lots of worried looks as I coughed, quite a fun ride into work.

[Ghoul]

How do you know you aren't dead tho

Matrix level

[BisMarckie]

Having to post on the bore would be a cruel and unusual punishment even for hell.

[Mr. Gundam]

Oxy is literally legal heroin, Xanax is an incredibly different and much lamer high.

I understand it’s medical use but can’t fathom why it’s so popular recreationally for anyone not suffering from anxiety.

I have so much Oxy left over from my heart surgery and will likely end up with a ton of the stuff following round two next month. It did absolutely nothing for me and Extra Strength Tylenol worked just fine for controlling pain.

[Clockwork5]

Monday is root canal day :/  and that is just the first appointment for the first root canal. I have another tooth that might need to get yanked. The dentist said it’s on the verge and I was just like “pull it” until she started going over the costs of an implant. Holy shit those things are like ten grand. So I quickly backtracked and changed my tune to “let’s try to save it”.

Coincidentally they want me to come in sedated on Xanax for my canal and gave me a test dose that I took a few nights ago. I wouldn’t call it recreational at all. It was just more of a “time to go to bed” feeling. I really wouldn’t want to be on that all the time.

[Bebpo]

Yeah, I'm pretty dead too. Like I get sick a lot, but this has to be the hardest I've ever been hit in the head. Can barely type this post. Can't even watch tv because it hurts my headache.
Was up to 101.6 fever last night, but did seem to fever break at some point and been in the 99.0-100.0 range since. Still getting massive fever chills and cold af.

The worst part is this massive headache I have. Just 24/7 and reaching down or turning my head or doing anything makes me it worse. Coughing (which is mostly under control thankfully) gives me 12/10 kill myself sharp stabbing headaches in the front half.

Pretty much just on 500mg tylenol every 4 hours (3000/day) but even that barely helps the headache and fever. Plus even though it's every 4 hours, the effects wear off at 3.5 hours and I start getting bad chills and headaches. Drinking tons of water.

Oh and can't sleep more than 30-60 mins at a time, so slept all night but woke up every hour :|


I'm guessing it's just the flu, my doctor said since the fever is going down to just give it a few days unless it spikes.
Only other thing I can think of is viral meningitis because of the constant severe headache, but at least so far don't have neck stiffness and no weird stuff like bright lights being painful. So hopefully not that.

Just so much pain >< I'm not supposed to take aspirin or ibuprofen due to the meds I'm on, so pretty much all I've got is 500mg tylenol.

[team filler]

turmeric and pepper

[Ghoul]

Yeah, I'm pretty dead too. Like I get sick a lot, but this has to be the hardest I've ever been hit in the head. Can barely type this post. Can't even watch tv because it hurts my headache.
Was up to 101.6 fever last night, but did seem to fever break at some point and been in the 99.0-100.0 range since. Still getting massive fever chills and cold af.

The worst part is this massive headache I have. Just 24/7 and reaching down or turning my head or doing anything makes me it worse. Coughing (which is mostly under control thankfully) gives me 12/10 kill myself sharp stabbing headaches in the front half.

Pretty much just on 500mg tylenol every 4 hours (3000/day) but even that barely helps the headache and fever. Plus even though it's every 4 hours, the effects wear off at 3.5 hours and I start getting bad chills and headaches. Drinking tons of water.

Oh and can't sleep more than 30-60 mins at a time, so slept all night but woke up every hour :|


I'm guessing it's just the flu, my doctor said since the fever is going down to just give it a few days unless it spikes.
Only other thing I can think of is viral meningitis because of the constant severe headache, but at least so far don't have neck stiffness and no weird stuff like bright lights being painful. So hopefully not that.

Just so much pain >< I'm not supposed to take aspirin or ibuprofen due to the meds I'm on, so pretty much all I've got is 500mg tylenol.

Yeah I’m kinda in the same boat and basically a super cold or hot bath shower depending on your temp does wonders. I called my local services today to be like well I work in an area with a large amount of Chinese tourists and they are just like, when you get worse give us a call back. Fucking top tier damage control. Good thing I’ve only gone to work for a week and a half-ish since feeling like shit. Ah well more travel with work on Monday so may as well infect a few more. In the words of R Kelly “it’s the freaking weekend, and I’m gonna die in bed until Monday”

My update house offer went through and that’s cool. Feel like death, mind is somewhat positive, I just hate everything and one that are involved with buying a place, so many stupid obstacles, I have X amount near 50% of price, why dick me around over a four year mid payment when I know for a fact I was told it was paid. That conversation is for when I’m not so groggy as I wanna slap someone verbally, apologies CS rep that gets abused in advance

[Bebpo]

Yeah, I don't know how you're still functioning.

So I'm pretty sure this is the flu and now I realize I've never had the actual "flu" even though I get whatever cold is usually going around. This is night and day from a cold.
And since I work with my family, my whole family is coming down with it too. Hoping everyone gets through this ok.

[Mupepe]

I got the flu for the first time the week of the new year. Spent that Monday just feeling kind of dumpy. Tuesday too. Wednesday I thought I was getting better. Thursday I went back to work and felt awful. Friday I crashed hard at work. I’ve never felt anything like that. I’ve been sick but I’ve never been sick like that where it’s debilitating. My wife and I both had it. After a week at home I felt good enough to go back to work. But I still had a cough and phlegm for like 3 weeks.

[Bebpo]

So I almost died.

Had a little bit of phlegm in my lungs, had the first cough to bring it out of my lungs and into my throat, but couldn't get it out from my throat with my 2nd or next few coughs. So what happened is a bunch of phlegm blocked my airways and I started choking to death and couldn't breathe and eventually I was able to get some air through the phlegm and breathe. But I never got the phlegm out so yeah.

Definitely concerned about this happening again. I've been taking an expectorant every 4 hours and drinking lots of water, so that this still happened is bad.

[BisMarckie]

Oh my god Bebpo that's awful.

Hopefully you'll get better soon. Have you seeked out medical care?