RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011

[Ghoul]

I'm no expert, but dropping acid I would think would likely be the cause of you not being able to sleep.

[Brehvolution]

That's the thing I hated most about acid. I wanted it to be done 6-8 hours before it was.

[Atramental]

I'm no expert, but dropping acid I would think would likely be the cause of you not being able to sleep.

I dropped acid Sunday.

I can stay awake without acid just fine due to my anxiety induced insomnia.

edit: also I’m pissed that I could’ve been smoking pot this whole time (which most of the time helps me sleep/chill the fuck out) but I didn’t because I thought they were gonna drug test me once I got hired on. And I have no idea how long I’ll be in contractor limbo so I can’t really smoke now either. Fuck everything lol.

[I'm a Puppy!]

For anyone keeping score on bire open arrangements, the wife and I stopped being open like 10 months ago, and mostly unrelated but we’re now on the rocks. I’m having a pretty hard time with it.

I'm sorry cats.

[I'm a Puppy!]

We both flat out told each other we love each other.
And I do resent her a bit for passing me up for a heroin addict who can’t hold a job for more than a few months...

But hey, we all make mistakes. All shall be forgiven once that relationship meets its inevitable end and she eventually comes around to me.

And if not then she’ll become one of many acquaintances that I’m friendly to but not super close with.

OK, sorry to be theBore-ing Dad, but here goes:

This is utterly standard, bullshit, Good Guy behavior. She's broken. She's in a broken relationship. You're waiting until she realizes you're a better choice.

Straight up, this is not what it means to be a decent person. Nothing good can come of this.

You're broken, too. You can choose to work on that, or just find another broken person who fulfills your expectations of the universe, which is what this looks like from here.

[Atramental]

Being right doesn’t change the fact that I have a demented attachment style when it comes to romantic relationships.

[BIONIC]

Atra X Possum Girl:

[Atramental]

If anything I was the one that kept on friend zoning her then the night of her bf’s relapse she ended up kissing me and then things became more & more impassioned from there.

[Atramental]

I. FUCKING. CAN’T.

I don’t exactly know what’s wrong with me but I become manic/hyper fixated on certain things and my chill just goes out the window.

Also, I have a big ass jar of bud at home just mocking me... I want to smoke it so fucking bad.

[nachobro]

spend $25 on fake piss, problem solved. imagine being a druglord and not knowing how to get around a test

[Atramental]

spend $25 on fake piss, problem solved. imagine being a druglord and not knowing how to get around a test

They do hair follicle tests as well at my job.

And I know there’s a shampoo but they don’t give any warning when they administer the initial drug test.

Plus, the fucked up thing is that these drug tests are really only meant for the warehouse workers since they operate heavy machinery. But I suppose my company doesn’t want to discriminate so they just drug test everyone...

[I'm a Puppy!]

I. FUCKING. CAN’T.

I don’t exactly know what’s wrong with me but I become manic/hyper fixated on certain things and my chill just goes out the window.

Also, I have a big ass jar of bud at home just mocking me... I want to smoke it so fucking bad.

If only someone, or maybe even a group of people had told you at the very beginning that this was a toxic situation and nothing good could have come of it. IF ONLY!!

[Atramental]

The heart wants what it wants~ 

[I'm a Puppy!]

The heart wants what it wants~ 

No excuse for putting yourself through toxic hell.

[BlueTsunami]

Indifference can make the heart grow fonder, if we playing mind games

But the tactic still allows unrequited love to live in your head rent free. I say lose the subterfuge and shirk that weight of expectation off ya shoulders.

[Atramental]

Dude... I’ve been doing acid all year (cuz it doesn’t show up on drug tests) because I haven’t been able to get stoned all year because I’ve been waiting alllll fucking year for this drug test so I get salaried + benefits  soooo I can finally go to/afford motherfucking therapy!!!!!!

That’s why I’m all FUCKED UP right FuCking now about shit!!!!!!

Like I wanted to hurl myself into fucking traffic after that meeting with my supervisor or whatever the fuck his bullshit title is when he told me I wasn’t essentially valuable enough to be a salaried employee because I cannot handle their chaotic mess of a workflow which is why I’m pulling a bunch of semi-all nighters this week trying to meet deadlines. Jesus Fucking Christ.

[Atramental]

Wasn't that your problem with your last job?

Yeah because graphic designers are essentially canon fodder in the corporate world apparently.

I have 7+ years of professional experience and that seems to not amount to shit.

[Atramental]

Anyway way to translate that into a different career or move to, say, a bigger city where you'll make more?

I’m gonna apply at BMW next week. I’m just done with design as a profession.

[demi]

Atra is so stupid hahahaha

[team filler]

 

[Bebpo]

For anyone keeping score on bire open arrangements, the wife and I stopped being open like 10 months ago, and mostly unrelated but we’re now on the rocks. I’m having a pretty hard time with it.

Really sorry to hear that

[VomKriege]

Does that BMW job pays well ? I'm not gonna slack honest factory work, maybe having something more steady and more rigidly organised is a good thing.

[chronovore]

Dude... I’ve been doing acid all year (cuz it doesn’t show up on drug tests) because I haven’t been able to get stoned all year because I’ve been waiting alllll fucking year for this drug test so I get salaried + benefits  soooo I can finally go to/afford motherfucking therapy!!!!!!

That’s why I’m all FUCKED UP right FuCking now about shit!!!!!!

Like I wanted to hurl myself into fucking traffic after that meeting with my supervisor or whatever the fuck his bullshit title is when he told me I wasn’t essentially valuable enough to be a salaried employee because I cannot handle their chaotic mess of a workflow which is why I’m pulling a bunch of semi-all nighters this week trying to meet deadlines. Jesus Fucking Christ.

Did you switch to a new job? Because this sounds like the same kind of crap you were dealing with a year ago.

It sounded like the other place would fall apart if you weren't willing to maintain your self-destructive schedule. Now you're currently hearing you're not mission-critical? What would realistically happen if you took emergency medical leave? Or is that not available if you're not a salaried employee?

[Atramental]

Yes I got a new job and I’m still getting fucked over.

And I can take a medical leave but I won’t get paid for it because I’m a contractor.

[CatsCatsCats]

For anyone keeping score on bire open arrangements, the wife and I stopped being open like 10 months ago, and mostly unrelated but we’re now on the rocks. I’m having a pretty hard time with it.

Really sorry to hear that

Don’t worry about me, I’m just listening to Dancing in the Dark on repeat and trying figure out my next move

[mormapope]

I've come to the conclusion that I'm in an emotional affair. A very deep one.

All these movies, TV shows, and books about physical affairs with fucking, almost nothing about what happens with the heart and feelings being involved with no fucking.

I had no idea love could be so complicated! Fuck me brehs. 

[mormapope]

Not that it's your fault but you're really undermining your friend's marriage.

There's a lot to this, and I don't feel comfortable going into too many details here in a public setting.

Regardless of anything, I want to be friends with her. And I know boundaries can be set to prevent damage and heartbreak.

[mormapope]

As a general rule I say never chase after people who are taken, even if feelings develop after long term friendship. Bets to chill and focus on hanging out with other people for a while.

This is healthy advice and I'm grateful for healthy helpful advice.

I'm a hot mess that's been having very intense depression with suicidal thoughts for the past several months. My mindset is fucked right now and the future doesn't seem bright.

An absolute atomic clusterfuck of emotions is most likely going to happen. The way I view it, life is short, and I hold onto love very tightly. So many people are saying this will most likely end in disaster.

The big thing no matter what, is I'm aware of what's going on. So if I continue down this path, I will know in my heart I made the decisions.

[mormapope]

There have been a lot of crazy people in this thread the past few days.

I've always been a basket case, it's easier now to just admit to mental illness and bad behavior habits than beat around the bush or make up bullshit.

[team filler]

I'm a normie compared to you lot 

[nachobro]

[Atramental]

There have been a lot of crazy people in this thread the past few days.

the bore is the only place (besides 4chan) I can let my crazy out.

[toku]

I've been focusing on improving myself a lot lately but I feel the need to vent somewhere cause goddamn it's been months since i got laid and I want to munch on some pussy soooo goddamn bad it hurts.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm in an emotional affair. A very deep one.

All these movies, TV shows, and books about physical affairs with fucking, almost nothing about what happens with the heart and feelings being involved with no fucking.

I had no idea love could be so complicated! Fuck me brehs. 

[Space Jam is Canon]

Cringe posting is like taking a psychic shit. Can't let it build up too much in your brain or it'll start to spill out IRL. 

And I'm well aware how despicable I truly am but a good chunk of my friends out in meat space call me a saint or guardian angel (mostly because they're even more damaged or despicable than I am). 

To put this into context, your extreme personality shifts and manipulative behavior is very On Cinema Tim Heidecker. 

Let me get real as someone that generally tries to keep an even head:

You went from virgin -> fat chicks are easy -> bdsm moms hang together and are easy -> let me emotionally leech off the gf of some dude that almost OD’d on heroin, freeing my lane for this bitch I call dumb on the internet

You’re not so much enjoying yourself as much you are exploiting the ladder of women that you feel are under your progressively under your ego.

There’s a lot to digest here, at times I was one of the only positive posters trying to help you out. But bro, you’ve totally fucked up.

Also, shifting hardcore into drugs as a form of “enlightenment”, not recreational enjoyment, and turning to astrology is some Fratboy burnout/13 year old diary writer bullshit respectively.

You could easily choose to progress and learn with your past experiences, use that to field and acclimate yourself from your supposed trauma, or use it as an excuse to get 😈 that a emotionally weak woman is crying in your arms as she struggles to maintain her relationship with her boyfriend that you hope will OD.

Also lmaoo it’s funny seeing you criticize yourself in quoteposts and seeing that it was made under a year ago. Gain some fucking perspective.

Bro I see you on Twitter all of the time running in my circles and I want to give u a kiss (unless ur not a Gregghead)

[BIONIC]

There have been a lot of crazy people in this thread the past few days.

Compared to all you fuckers, I'm the most normal guy around

FACT CHECK:

At one point in my life I was making random visits to my girlfriend's house at night to try and "catch her off guard". Lifted her facebook password off of her laptop and ended up obsessively checking her facebook messages, multiple times throughout the day. Distrust and paranoia is extremely self destructive, don't do it.

[Mupepe]

I guess since everyone has been giving updates:

Everything is still going good here. The gf and I actually spent two days out of town together a while back which was fun. I think things have finally settled back to normal there and it feels like it did before. The only thing that's different is we basically used to have a no text boundary that was really unspoken, but we would really only mostly chat when we were together. That's pretty much gone. We text and communicate on a daily basis throughout the day but I like it. I've always considered her a good friend and it feels a lot better that we don't really limit the friendship side.

The wife and I are trying to have a baby. If anyone remembers, we have always been told that it's likely not possible for and a 2 years back now (I think) she had a miscarriage. It sucked but it proved to us that 1) should can have a baby and 2) we really do want to have one together. So we've been seeing doctors and we've made progress to the point where we have more of a normal chance of it. We're avoiding anything like surgery, IVF or hormones. If we get to the point where those are our options we've decided to just adopt.

[Rahxephon91]

Y’all think I’m going to find someone else? It seems pretty impossible. I mean I got really lucky with who I had and well ruined it. Don’t know how I could get lucky again. And looking at how people meet others(through social circles), mine isn’t very hopeful. My friends are either married or have no female friends. Work is also a pretty solitary job. Just seems scary you know?

[nudemacusers]

Y’all think I’m going to find someone else? It seems pretty impossible.

Yeah? People meet people all the time. Stop being a defeatist weirdo.

And atra jfc. You need to go cold turkey on your lifestyle.

[Huff]

On the other hand you’ll never be a famous artist unless you kill yourself

[naff]

to lighten things up and brag, im going on holiday in a few weeks to stay with a woman i met from australia (basically a one night stand after an exhibition i had a piece in a few weeks back. v romantic. though we did previously know of each other a little). ex ballerina, current filmmaker - being intentionally vague here - and sexy as all hell. "you can stay as long as you like" 



also dating someone in my city. new operations manager in our office. very fashionable with a hint of sloot, a great ass, well read, cute, smart, likes to party and workout. bless.

had been fucking around a lil' elsewhere too, but that's off now (except the office romance, potentially a small dilemma) after meeting the strayan dream. it feels like a goofy romcom scenario, i've never really attempted a long distance thing but we've been talking every other day for hours, and messaging otherwise. have been upfront and transparent about my situ with all involved, but things have been so cute/ developing quickly with miss straya, and im a little bored where i am (though, this is also quite nice in many ways) so beginning to think if this works over the next month or two i might just recklessly up and move myself down under 

[Rahxephon91]

Y’all think I’m going to find someone else? It seems pretty impossible.

Yeah? People meet people all the time. Stop being a defeatist weirdo.

I don't meet people all the time. I hardly meet people.

I also don't know much about women and I'm unsure if I'm going to meet a woman who's going to have an interest in sex, allow me to do the same things, and also be as understanding about things. I'm just feeling a lot on anxiety about how I had a rather good thing that I blew.

[Atramental]

I hope to god rahx finds some sexually aggressive whore that’ll fuck the mental illness right out of ‘im 

(actually it makes it worse)

[Atramental]

Does that BMW job pays well ? I'm not gonna slack honest factory work, maybe having something more steady and more rigidly organised is a good thing.

It pays better than my last job at a marketing/web design firm

But $600 less than my current job BUT I get my healthcare paid for + other benefits.

and yes, I could definitely go for something more rigid and less people oriented as of late...

[VomKriege]

Rahx I can tell you from experience that it can and most probably will happen. It will maybe take some time. Reading attraction cues can be tricky but that's why coffee and drink dates are for too.

Meeting new faces is an issue for a lot of people, if that's any comfort. That's why dating apps have become so popular.

[VomKriege]

Also I know now I love my ex. (Irony !) I honestly was a bit dizzy the last two times we parted ways after hanging out. I got the impression she was a bit febrile too but I don't trust my judgement on that. She has experience, was the one who splitted, was pretty convinced we wouldn't patch up and that her feelings didn't and wouldn't grow into love so I don't want to project and cling on.

I'm perfectly fine with it being entirely platonic, but I'll probably try to be open and sincere about this to her in the near future if only for finding the healthy distance and boundaries.

Edit : Might also be partly libido-related, I guess, as far as the flare up is concerned.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

At the end of the day, she’s picking a heroin addict over you. Heroin addicts shit their pants regularly, have bad breath because their teeth are rotting and will do anything, no matter how humiliating, to get their next hit. Yet with all that, she still wants to fuck him over you. Your response is to sit idly by or even worse, pretend to be some puppet master instead of being relieved at dodging such a shit show.

[Mupepe]

Oof. OWH with the body slam.

[Atramental]

Atra, rather than trying to orchestrate a situation akin to Jane’s death in Breaking Bad, is there any way you could narc on Heroin Boy and get him sent to prison? We’ve established just within the last few pages that people don’t stay loyal when their SO goes to prison or lives several states away. Get him locked up, and you’ll  have a clear path to Possum Girl’s heart.

Possum girl met with me and another friend of mine this Friday over drinks.

She’s essentially done with him in a romantic sense but still with him for financial support until she lands a better job. Which hopefully will happen very soon.

[BIONIC]

She’s essentially done with him in a romantic sense but still with him for financial support until she lands a better job.

[Atramental]

 

It’s all gonna work out. Just watch. 

[Atramental]

He’s on suboxone now or whatever, is in a support group, and has a job at TGI Friday’s. 

[Nabbis]

This whole possum girl thing sounds like some comedy act tbh. I can kinda understand some rough spots in that relationship but theres nothing even remotely "normal" in any of this. Eh, if laying her will make you happy(though i doubt it)   

[Atramental]

If you guys saw how shitty the dating scene was in my small city you would understand why I’m so hung up on possum girl.

[Atramental]

Can't you financially support her and her possums with your new job?

She’s actually going to give away her possum pretty soon to a nature reserve for unreleaseable wild animals.

But yes. 

[VomKriege]

I'm working for the week so I'll just put aside my uncertainties for now. No need on beating that horse until next time. Instinct says something that doesn't seem to hold up to reason, that's the worst.

[Raist]

Remember when Atra was with a nice girl who was into kinky shit but he dumped her because it was going a bit too fast and it was just too weird for him?

Me too.

[Atramental]

Remember when Atra was with a nice girl who was into kinky shit but he dumped her because it was going a bit too fast and it was just too weird for him?

Me too.

She wanted to have my babies after we had been together for only 3 weeks. 

and I fucking hate kids, btw.

[VomKriege]

I'm working for the week so I'll just put aside my uncertainties for now. No need on beating that horse until next time. Instinct says something that doesn't seem to hold up to reason, that's the worst.

Beat the meat, not the horse.

Not sure either would help.

[Rahxephon91]

I don't meet people all the time. I hardly meet people.

I also don't know much about women and I'm unsure if I'm going to meet a woman who's going to have an interest in sex, allow me to do the same things, and also be as understanding about things. I'm just feeling a lot on anxiety about how I had a rather good thing that I blew.

To be frank, what you had seemed more like going through growing pains as opposed to a good thing you should have kept.

And dude, you will meet someone. Most of the time it happens when you least expect it to. The best way to go about it is to not look at yourself as this burden women need to deal with, but as this person a woman would want to be around. Acting like you're a burden or problem will make you into one more often than not.

By all means, grieve and mourn and all that. There's nothing wrong with feeling sad if you have something to feel sad about. But you'll bounce back, I know you will. Take it for me, prior saddest poster in this gin joint before I racked up my own experience and grew up. You'll be fine.

Thank you. I know I have been one of the most annoying posters in here and on the bore in general. And I know my shtick can sound like someone whining about the end of the world.

This is my first break up and while I know this is something everyone deals with at some point, it still hurts. Especially since I know in the end a lot of it was my fault. If I did'nt have these insecurities and characters flaws I probably wouldn't have pushed someone I cared for away. I mean I know everyone probably does the "in retrospect" look back and in retrospect I can see the problems that probably would in the end led it ending anyway. Lol my mom always said one of the problems is she did'nt want to do anything and that I am someone who likes to get out and do stuff. When I visited her as much as it was fun to be with her, I wasn't thirlled about taking an airplane to basicly stay in her apartment and watch her play CoD. Yeah the sex part was good and in the end it has helped me shed my fear of sex. I still have many hang ups to get pass, but less. I'm scared of how sex will be with someone else though? How will it compare? But I know you can't really think about that.

I don't know I have a lot of anxiety right now about this and I don't go to therapy until Thursdays. I'm sure after a week or so I'll start getting better, it's just that hump is hard.

[naff]

she was a weird shut in gamer, and you're a weeb, it sounded kinda right to me. but even though you are scared of being alone, enjoyed the company and sex, you weren't that into it and you don't have to settle because "you're not worth it". you clearly have some issues of the attachment, self-esteem variety. helloooo. you really have to just believe you're not alone in that. just getting out there and doing it both figuratively and literally does inure you to the trials and tribulations of dating. each step gets successively easier, keep pushing yourself. live laugh love babes.