RELATIONSHIPS: helping wizards deplete their mana since 2011

[Mupepe]

It’s crazy intimate to talk about being with someone else with the person you love.

[BlueTsunami]

I love how the act of fucking is like a punctuation to every other sentence in Mups post lol

I also could never share, i'm a jealous fucker. I also find that trait hot in another. A product of low self-esteem.

[PsychoBee]

not sure if this is the right thread, but something i've been chewing on the last week or so

been in a "kind of" relationship with one girl for some time, sometimes we'd go off and date someone else, talk to eachother about our relationships, things like that- but when it inevitably didn't work we'd just go back to how things were "as usual", flirting with each other, sort of half-dates, but more of "we're going out as best friends!" kind of things than actual dates, not really romantic, just more fun, things have been very comfortable with her, we even had sex a few times (the first time we were both drunk, and then a few times after that casually when the mood seemed right) but there was never any talk of anything more serious or heavy

flashforward about two years ago when I got out of a long relationship with my ex and she caught her fiance cheating on her, we had a sort of bonding moment of "wow our partners suck fuck people etc" and we had this .. moment? it was like suddenly things were a lot more intense, although neither of us was willing to commit to anything, it was definitely a lot heavier and more passionate than anything we've ever done before, sex incl, and it was weird as hell, honestly

that lasted a few months, and then things calmed down kind of, her and her fiance worked things out, they eventually got married, but she still kept acting like we did when we were both single- occassionally sending me nudes, talking about the times we slept together, things like that. I just sort of put it in the back of my mind because she was married, and the one time I sat her down to talk with her about "hey whats going on whats up with this" and she told me I was misreading things, that her husband knew she was sending this stuff (although she'd always have to do it secretly and nowhere permanent because she was afraid he'd find out ?? red flags but it's not my life so I just kept to my lane) so I was like whatever, I'm too old to deal with this, I'll just do whatever

our friendship kind of returned to a somewhat normal state (with rare moments of her trying to act more like a girlfriend than friend, but that was usually when she was fighting with her husband)

flash forward again, her and her husband are fighting every day, and she's talking about getting a divorce, I've been trying to be there for her, but I've been talking to another girl for the last two months who's poly, and things between us got a bit heavy- I've been wanting to experiment with a poly relationship, and she knows it's new to me and told me if I ever decided to take our friendship a step further she'd be there for me and help me through it, because she thinks I might be poly as well, based on some of my past relationships and other things I've told her

Old friend found out about this and got really pissed off at me, basically told me she loved me and always loved me, was just waiting for me to take the first step and make us official, she never wanted to be with her husband but wanted to start a family and figured I'd never give her the time of day, etc. which.. caught me off guard, but she's also mono, and I'm really questioning if I am, or if I could be for her?

Kinda stuck in the scenario of do I choose the girl who I've known for almost two decades now that I'd be comfortable with, or do I choose the new girl who's exciting, been very supportive of a lot of discoveries I've been making about myself, helping me discover new things about myself, and at the very least help me figure out who I am?

[BlueTsunami]

Sounds like she developed a codepence on you both being there for eachother. The fact that shes spiraling out from a marriage is a huge red flag at the moment. Shouldn't be on you to save her from that. Go with what you feel is healthiest for you versus the feeling of being there for her. I mean, yeah be there for her emotionally but starting a family from a state of panic? Sheeeit.

[Beezy]

Mupepe and Puppy, have either of your wives had a boyfriend in your open marriage? Did that go well? Did they speak openly about them to you? Did you ever meet them?

[Mupepe]

My wife has one now. It’s just as fun for us as when I tell her about my adventures. My wife only had two over 8 years and she sees him a lot less often then I see people. I’ve never met them but I don’t know how that would go. I’d like to say I wouldn’t have a problem but I can’t say for sure. She does speak openly about him and I don’t feel any jealousy, but I also speak openly about mine. We have gotten comfortable enough that we can mentioned things about them outside the bedroom without it being awkward or a problem. Like I can tell my wife “she mentioned we check out this show and she said she’s going to do this weekend and that sounds fun blah blah blah”. Just to be clear, we aren’t involved romantically with these people. The meetups we have are strictly sexual and generally don’t communicate with them unless it’s about meeting up. That was something I kind of let slip with my girlfriend. Outside of a very very random meme or something, I didn’t ever text or call her. After my accident she started to text every day. At first it was “how are feeling” and then it turned it into “what are you up to?” I told my wife and mentioned it was weird but I didn’t put 2 and 2 together until after she said she loved me. When I didn’t reciprocate last Friday the texts stopped cold.

[Mupepe]

Psycho: that girl sounds broken and it sounds like a hell of a lot of baggage with little room for success as a relationship. It seems like the most relevant question is if you could even make it with her. I’d probably quite honestly tell her you’re looking to see what’s down this other path and ask if she wants to go on that adventure with you.

[PsychoBee]

Psycho: that girl sounds broken and it sounds like a hell of a lot of baggage with little room for success as a relationship. It seems like the most relevant question is if you could even make it with her. I’d probably quite honestly tell her you’re looking to see what’s down this other path and ask if she wants to go on that adventure with you.

I brought it up once, but she was extremely against the idea, saying she didn't want to share me, etc.

Actually talking about it and thinking about it kinda really helps put it into perspective, kinda? Like in the moment I didn't realize just how crazy it sounded until I took the time to write it all out and actually think about what our relationship had been and how possessive she had always been of me

Thanks y'all, Im gonna take y'all's advice and just give the new girl a shot, and see if I can even still be friends with the old girl, which theres quite a few details I left out because the post had become long enough as-is and they weren't relevant, but in hindsight there are a lot of red flags to our entire relationship and I'll try to maintain the friendship, but I think with how things have been going the last year or so this will be the breaking point for us

[Beezy]

My wife has one now. It’s just as fun for us as when I tell her about my adventures. My wife only had two over 8 years and she sees him a lot less often then I see people. I’ve never met them but I don’t know how that would go. I’d like to say I wouldn’t have a problem but I can’t say for sure. She does speak openly about him and I don’t feel any jealousy, but I also speak openly about mine. We have gotten comfortable enough that we can mentioned things about them outside the bedroom without it being awkward or a problem. Like I can tell my wife “she mentioned we check out this show and she said she’s going to do this weekend and that sounds fun blah blah blah”. Just to be clear, we aren’t involved romantically with these people. The meetups we have are strictly sexual and generally don’t communicate with them unless it’s about meeting up. That was something I kind of let slip with my girlfriend. Outside of a very very random meme or something, I didn’t ever text or call her. After my accident she started to text every day. At first it was “how are feeling” and then it turned it into “what are you up to?” I told my wife and mentioned it was weird but I didn’t put 2 and 2 together until after she said she loved me. When I didn’t reciprocate last Friday the texts stopped cold.

Thanks. I asked because I'm currently someone's "boyfriend" and every now and then I wonder if her husband is jealous at all. I hung out with both of them a few times before this all started, haven't seen him since, but she says he's fine with it and wants to hang out again.

[Oblivion]

Gentlemen....I'm about to go out with a PAWG right now.

WISH ME LUCK

[nudemacusers]

The idea of navigating multiple partners makes me tired lol, can’t imagine doing it... tho I get the impression it’s way more common than one would think. I know a number of people who do it, but are very hush about it (social mores + a layer of UCMJ)

[Oblivion]

Welp, just got back. How'd it go, you ask? In a word: FUCKING AWESOME

I picked her up and we went to IHOP where we hung out and chat for over 3 hours. Generally, in my experience, when you're with a woman THAT long on a first date, it's good sign. And thankfullly that seemed to be the case as we spent another 4 hours afterwards making out, feeling each other up, and doing pretty much everything you can think of short of full on intercourse.

This chick was looking pretty hot in her pictures on Hinge, but they clearly didn't do her justice. On her profile, she was wearing some loose fitting clothes, but she was one of those chicks who you could still tell was pretty top heavy, but seeing her in person, "stacked" doesn't begin to cut. They were ENORMOUS.  Easily the biggest pair of any woman I'm dated so far (which is saying something, cause I've dated one who had F cup tits). And I was blessed enough to get the opportunity to see them up close and personal. 

Things went so well, we'll be seeing each other again tomorrow. After 6 of the shittiest months of my life, some GOOD luck finally happens.

[team filler]

pawg and huge rack   

[Rahxephon91]

The holy grail.

[team filler]

I prefer smaller tiddies tbh  small and perky 

[BlueTsunami]

If yall still together in October, suggest she dresses as a big tiddy goth girlfriend for Halloween 🎃

[Oblivion]

It's actually kind of surprising just how well it turned out. In the beginning when we were at IHOP she seemed bubbly and engaged, but somewhere midway she started appearing distant and bored. I brought it up to her later and she said the reason for that was cause she wanted to leave sooner so she could devour me (her word). 

She's got pretty much all my preferences/fetishes locked down: big boobs, big butt, tall (she's probably an inch taller than me, even), great calves/legs in general, red hair, and glasses. She's also both utterly adorable and simultaneously aggressive, it's so hot.

[I'm a Puppy!]

Mupepe and Puppy, have either of your wives had a boyfriend in your open marriage? Did that go well? Did they speak openly about them to you? Did you ever meet them?

I'll reply to this tomorrow as I'm busy now and it's complicated.

Also you might want to include CatsCubed. He's a cool dude.

[Mr. Gundam]

The idea of navigating multiple partners makes me tired lol, can’t imagine doing it... tho I get the impression it’s way more common than one would think. I know a number of people who do it, but are very hush about it (social mores + a layer of UCMJ)

I'm unable to separate sex and love/intimacy so it's just not something that I could do (and my wife feels the same), but no judgment towards those who can. A good friend of my wife's is a tantra instructor who has her prime partner but then has other partners at the same time. It works for her as it does for others, but she's also quick to note that it's not right for everyone.

[Oblivion]

So we met again last night, and it appears there's a slight problem that just came to my attention.

She has genital herpes.

Now, I've had experience with women in the past who had herpes before and I handled it pretty badly, so I didn't want to go ballistic in the same manner, and I think I handled it pretty well this time.

THAT BEING SAID..

..should I continue seeing her? How easily can a person contract genital herpes if they use protection?

[demi]

looooool, the change in attitude

[TakingBackSunday]

Everyone's got some sort of VD, put your face directly on it and get to gnoshin'

[TEEEPO]

not that i've ever had to deal with it directly but genital herpes isn't a big deal imo

don't std shame

[Rufus]

Could be worse. Could be drug resistant gonnorrhea.

[Beezy]

yikes

[BlueTsunami]

Sometimes you just gotta accept the stank

But seriously, yall were vibing. Do a "Very Special Episode of..." with her and have a convo with her about what it entails exactly. At least she was nice enough to even tell you instead juat letting it roll. Plus, them tiddys.

[CatsCatsCats]

https://m.

[Oblivion]

Hey, don't make me out to be the bad guy here! I didn't break up with her or anything. And in fact, I said I would be willing to continue seeing her!

I just want to make sure this genital herpes thing won't be too much of a dangerous issue. 

[TEEEPO]

so were you doxxed or did you disclose this information to shosta?

[Oblivion]

is this directed at me or her

[TEEEPO]

ingrown hair or herpes, you'd still fuck me

[Oblivion]

ingrown hair or herpes, you'd still fuck me

Oh I'd hit it!  And I'm sure I have before too;  but I wouldn't want to get into a relationship with someone with herpes.  Sounds terrible, but it's the truth.  I wouldn't want my long-term partner to be someone I had to use condoms with.

I'm just frugal like that.

Wait, what? Why would you be okay having sex with someone with herpes, but not a relationship with that same person?

[TEEEPO]

he'd prob be less inclined to give oral or do raunchy shit if it's a one night stand

i've used this reasoning before

[Rahxephon91]

How are condoms more restrictive? Just asking.

[Rahxephon91]

Ok I’ve experienced that. Having to switch/change condoms kind of kills my Bonner.

[Oblivion]

Wait, what? Why would you be okay having sex with someone with herpes, but not a relationship with that same person?

Because I'll have sex with someone using protection but wouldn't want to have to use protection all the time in a long term relationship.  Just too restrictive.

Oh, I see. Makes sense.

[Rahxephon91]

The holy grail.

On second thought...

[I'm a Puppy!]

My wife has one now. It’s just as fun for us as when I tell her about my adventures. My wife only had two over 8 years and she sees him a lot less often then I see people. I’ve never met them but I don’t know how that would go. I’d like to say I wouldn’t have a problem but I can’t say for sure. She does speak openly about him and I don’t feel any jealousy, but I also speak openly about mine. We have gotten comfortable enough that we can mentioned things about them outside the bedroom without it being awkward or a problem. Like I can tell my wife “she mentioned we check out this show and she said she’s going to do this weekend and that sounds fun blah blah blah”. Just to be clear, we aren’t involved romantically with these people. The meetups we have are strictly sexual and generally don’t communicate with them unless it’s about meeting up. That was something I kind of let slip with my girlfriend. Outside of a very very random meme or something, I didn’t ever text or call her. After my accident she started to text every day. At first it was “how are feeling” and then it turned it into “what are you up to?” I told my wife and mentioned it was weird but I didn’t put 2 and 2 together until after she said she loved me. When I didn’t reciprocate last Friday the texts stopped cold.

Thanks. I asked because I'm currently someone's "boyfriend" and every now and then I wonder if her husband is jealous at all. I hung out with both of them a few times before this all started, haven't seen him since, but she says he's fine with it and wants to hang out again.

Oh I didn't understand the question. I thought you meant girlfriend/boyfriends with a spouse. That's a whole other thing. My wife doesn't currently have a boyfriend. I do certainly take a different tact than my counter part, Mupepe. That's what I was going to post about but as I re-read that's not at all what you're asking. I will say that I am in that BF position (twice over).

Here's the thing. Some guys are cool with it and others not.  Some guys view it as their partner has a need they can't or don't want to fulfill and they have no problem with it. Others are like "You do that thing and keep me out of it". Others are like "Hey, we both love this person and want what's best for them." You sorta gotta get a read on it.

[Olivia Wilde Homo]

I broke up with my girlfriend. It’s a long story and nobody cares. Long story short, her downsides were no longer worth the upsides.

I hooked up with my friend and ate her out until she came six times and begged me to stop last night. Not looking for another gf anytime soon.

[Oblivion]

Maybe I don't have to worry about the herpes thing with this chick after all. Apparently she lives with her son and mom in an apartment, and since I take care of my mom in my apartment, well...that's gonna make play time very difficult.


Fucking millenials.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

(yes, I'm aware of the existence of hotels, but they're fucking expensive, and she expressed her displeasure with the backseat of my car, so that's out of the question too).

[close]

[Rahxephon91]

Was able to have non-condom sex! Felt great.

[CatsCatsCats]

Congrats, dad!

[BlueTsunami]

Maybe I don't have to worry about the herpes thing with this chick after all. Apparently she lives with her son and mom in an apartment, and since I take care of my mom in my apartment, well...that's gonna make play time very difficult.


Fucking millenials.

spoiler (click to show/hide)

(yes, I'm aware of the existence of hotels, but they're fucking expensive, and she expressed her displeasure with the backseat of my car, so that's out of the question too).

[close]

Since its getting warmer, theres always fucking in the woods. Contracting a common form of herpes under a moonless sky like a couple of sexy vampires.

[team filler]

Was able to have non-condom sex! Felt great.

[Rahxephon91]

Well as I had mentioned before she has an IUD which is pretty close to 99% effective birth control. And sex without a condom I guess is something she's fine with when she's become comfortable with her partner.Well I guess I hit that level.

It just happen randomly to be honest. I did'nt even ask for it, in fact I made sure to bring the condoms. But when we finnaly started she started off blowing me without her flavored condoms which was a well...... very good surprise. Then at one point she said "I'd fuck you without a condom" and then you know I made sure that is something she was fine with and well here we are.

It was honestly some of the best sex I've ever had. In fact we both agreed it was very good.

Then we ate tacos and played some Resident Evil.

Fuck, I may have hit the jackpot guys.

[team filler]

 

slide that dick up her tight ass 

[Rahxephon91]

It was a very good day.

Most importantly though I tried to remember the advice given here and stay confident. Stayed positive about what I was doing. If my thing got tired or whatever my response was to focus on something else and not get frustrated as these things happen. Any awkwardness or whatever was just easily tossed aside. I made sure to really listen to what she was saying and not 2nd guess any of it. Even she said I felt more confident and I was. Because my 2nd guessing and over thinking has been really dumb.

And I'm looking forward to doing it again.

[BisMarckie]

How are condoms more restrictive? Just asking.

[skullstorm]

Genuinely happy to hear everything's going well again with this girl, Rahx 

[hampster]

Well I guess I hit that level.

[Oblivion]

Happy for ya, Rahx.


So...not to be a broken record about the herpes thing, but I come to find out that you don't even have to have sex to catch it! Just mere skin contact from lying with a person who has it, is enough to get you to contract it!   

What kind of shitty superdisease is this?

[team filler]

I fear the herp more than aids  if I get aids, then I just die  if I get herps, then I live with painful nastiness on my dick and can't have sex with anyone without ruining their life*  just kill me 


*more than usual 

[Rahxephon91]

So according to her we are now official.

[chronovore]

So according to her we are now official.

[team filler]

So according to her we are now official.

now the real pain begins my friend 

[toku]

nah

[Oblivion]

Good news.

She broke up with me!

I'm STD free for a little while longer!

 

[Rufus]

Problems that solve themselves. 

[Raist]

I'm STD free for a little while longer!

Is that why she broke up?

[Himu]

RAH YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND NOW???